Stressed Out!

Family
21

Hello, welcome to the forum,

When I was psychotic, I went through a phase like this all my confusion, delusion and anger was aimed at my mother, I was in hospital at the time and and I believed she was doing some very unrealistic things which resulted in social services being called by the hospital. I was mortified, I don’t remember much about the meeting apart from the social worker laughing at me.

But I broke down on the way home (which I also don’t remember) she had to pull over where it’s illegal to here and calm me down, I told her I didn’t want to get her killed. So I was trying to push her away with all my might, it caused a lot of hurt.

She stood by me though, even though the doctors at the time didn’t believe me my mum knew I was psychotic. She says she doesn’t blame me, because I was in a psychosis. I’m coming to terms with the damage I’ve done, I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself though.

However me and mum now have a fab relationship, we’re very close and I’m beginning to learn independence, like the other day I spontaneously decided I’d make her soup, she was very proud of me for that.

I’m trying to remind myself I’m 21 and have to several times a day, I forget just how old I am; keep thinking I’m back at 16 where teenagers will attack me at random. Maybe your son just isn’t aware of how old he really is?

I think you have every right to distance yourself until he knows what he’s missing, then he can appreciate you and not treat you this way.

The reason of this long explanation is that he may have his reasons, that doesn’t mean they’re justified, but in his world he may feel that he has to do this, not that he wants to, underneathe I’m sure he still loves you, he may also be taking you for granted, so I think some distance would be wise that way he can see his behaviour, learn to miss you and hopefully step back and realise how much you’ve done for him, but what you do has boundaries.

Sorry, I hope I’m making sense, I’m sorry you’re going through this though, hopefully with some time you’ll regain some form of a balanced relationship,
Keep fighting! Take care, Meg.

22

Thank you bridgecomet! I haven’t talked with my son in a couple of weeks now - I hurt like crazy missing his previous personality. He is such a sweet man and this disliking him at this point comes at a bad time. For example, he brought a small bouquet of flowers to my door the day before my birthday and on my BD, he invited me over for a lunch. He does all sorts of nice things for me. It’s his language when I asked him something, his attitude towards me and that final comment “I have a right to speak to you anyway I like” as I was cleaning his freezer. That’s when this huge lightbulb went off in my head. I finally realized, how delusional he is and my letter to him destroyed his delusions. I sit among other mom’s talking about their adult children and on and on they go. It just plain hurts - badly. Blessedly, I am a Christian and know God is in control. I also have very good friends and hobbies. Thank you so very much bridgecomet. I appreciate your reply. Rob is very angry with me right now and told me he doesn’t even like me. I have to hold out to either talk with him about his illness, medications, doctor visits. I don’t think this will ever happen. Have a great Sunday, today the 22nd of June.

23

That’s the thing, lovemy son. I can’t talk with him about his illness, meds, symptoms, etc. He becomes irrational, loud, and begins with the violent-type language. One time when he visited, I mentioned joining NAMI. My voice was was quiet. He became loud, swearing, and pacing back and forth saying awful things. I asked him to leave my apartment and gave him the container of pasta. He threw the pasta all over the outside of my building. So I cannot mention anything real such as his illness, his delusions and such. He is a very intelligent man born with a 140 IQ. But thinks he’s superior to everyone thus making himself difficult and more so because he’s experiencing delusions. Thank you so much for writing lovemyson. Keep in touch and I will too.

Hurting

24

Good to hear pattywagon. But on another note, I used to be confined to long term psychiatric detainment. I went mad with the boredom. So, maybe you could ask his psychiatrist that you can get day leave for your son and yourself. It will help his progress.

25

Hi roses43tulips when my son gets off meds at times it’s hard to be around him by myself and he also does the same swearing, delusional and mean at times and tells me he does not like me. This time he was in the hospital trying to get stable on his meds and he was doing terrible/punching walls/ extremely agitated /extreme voices telling him they killed me while visiting him and threw something at wall…He excused himself and apologized… so long-term care facility had to send him to ets emergency and change his meds because he was not stable . It might have been the medication because once he got switched to the sereqoel it really calmed him down. I hope everything gets better with u and your son and I’m sending lots of prayers to both of you!

26

Karl I think your right other facility would not allow my son to play psp that often and that usually calms him down …He is at a new facility/med change I have sent him his computer/ PSP portable game system/earphone radio/ cd player and I send a book to him every week . If he goes to groups he is allowed to go on laptop for 1 hr. a day and able to play his PSP throughout the day as long as he goes to all his groups. Thanks for your advice on day leave and I think when he moves up to next unit he is able to have day passes and I will take him out.

27

First of all, I love your screen name. Clever. I also agree with csummers. I survived 8 months locked up in a psychiatric hospital when I was 21. And I grew up with the survival skills of a soap bubble in a breeze. But I made it somehow. He’ll survive. I hope it dawns on him that he is going about his request in the wrong way. Maybe you could point it out to him. The way to get released from a hospital is to behave properly. Not through violence and threats. He has to earn the right to be released. Of course he is not in the right state of mind, so maybe he is not able to grasp that. I don’t think I can help you but these are just my thoughts.

28

Thanks nick this post was from a while back…He was doing terrible and unstable they had to send him back to evaluation and put my son on different meds and was a lot better within a few days so it was probably the medication and doctor said it may have been his environment. He did a turn around within a few days and they sent him to another facility that seems a lot better. He has not been agitated or violent since the new medication and at the new facility.