Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

SZ wife divorcing me - can't stop it


#1

My wife J is divorcing me. Her family has diagnosed her with a form of sz. She’s been in a mental ward twice, the first time involuntarily in 2012 and voluntarily last month. She wasn’t diagnosed with sz in 2012, but did experience a psychotic break. I don’t know about the most recent time because she essentially cut contact with me in May last year, after fleeing to CA with our kids (I learned later that she thought I was emotionally abusing her). I filed for divorce a couple of days after she left, to protect my children and my kids from her behavior. I have since asked multiple times for reconciliation, but she just responded that she was happier on her own (this is prior to the recent hospitalization), which is obviously not true. Her sister appears to be ignoring the symptoms and is definitely driving the divorce at this point. It feels like I am divorcing her sister rather than her. Anyone else experienced this where an in-law just steps in and takes control to the point that the spouse is completely outed? I just feel like I’m completely out of the equation and there is nothing I can do but ride the roller coaster at this point.


#2

Hello Jack,
Welcome to the forum, hopefully someone here can give you some advice. Just like to welcome you to the site. AnnieNorCal


#3

Thanks Annie. I appreciate the welcome.


#4

Hello again Jack,
It sounds like your wife has a big influence over her sister and children. Have you spoken to any authorities about your wife?
One thing I know about people with sz, is they will lie and be convincing, making you look like the bad guy.
Please think about these suggestions before you act. Also if you could talk to your parents and gets some advice. Its always best to discuss this situation with someone you trust first and then think about what actions you should take.
You can talk to a court representative about your children. The court system can have alot of influence over what is fair.
It is best not to confront your wife or her sis at this point. They are gong to see things there way and arguing or figthing will look bad only on your part. Many people with Sz can appear to be and act completely normal and you need to be cautious of what your wife may tell authorities.
If you are concerned for the safety of your children you can also talk to social services and have a CPS intervene for you. You can also ask for a psychological evaluation. The court system, local authorities and doctors hold all the keys to getting appropriate help and intervention.
You need to keep documented notes about your wifes illness and never talk to her or her sis alone, bring a parent or someone who may be able to help interact on your behalf. The less emotions on your part the better. A mature and diplomatic approach is the best. Always consider your actions when in contact with your wife. No phone calls or text, back and forth. You need to be cautious and caring. Do not do anything that a court may use against you.
I’m just a mom, so my suggestions are just caring thoughts for your family.
Take care AnnieNorCal


#5

Thanks Annie. It’s actually my wife with the SZ and it’s her sister that has an influence over my wife and, through my wife, my children. I will definitely take your advice to heart. It’s good to hear that I’m not mistaken thinking my wife behaves like a normal person right up until she doesn’t too. I will start documenting the illness and never talk to her or her sister alone again.