History: Married to wife for 12 years, 2 kids 6 and 11 years old. She has been diagnosed with schizo affective bipolar and has been hospitalized 4 times in the last 4 years. She has also been to jail for Domestic Violence and DUI.
I’ve been trying for the last 4 years to get her help. I’ve had to call the police on her multiple times to have her committed so that she would start a treatment plan. Short of that she always refused to get help, and insisted everything was my fault and that I was the one that was really in need of anti-psychotics.
She has cheated on me, most likely many many times, but the 2 I know of was when she came home and told me she had Chlamydia, and the second time was when she went to get drunk at a bar and decided to go home with a random guy that night (I had to work the next day, and kids had school, but she didn’t care about any of that.)
She has accused me of doing everything from ruining her life, to sleeping with her cousin, to wanting to have incestual relationships with my own family, being gay, etc etc… I’ve always ignored it and tried to keep her even tempered, but that rarely worked.
So, Monday night things crossed the line (yeah, the line was probably crossed a long time ago, but I think I’ve been in denial, or suffering some form of Stockholm syndrome.) She got drunk, as usual, and she threatened to kill my son and replace him with another kid because he would grow up to bring ruin to his father and mother.
I called the police and they took her to the hospital, the following day I got a protective order against her. She is now no longer able to see or speak to me or the kids for about 3 weeks, and then a hearing for a more permanent order will take place, if that works she will not be able to see myself or the kids for 2 years.
After all of this, I feel terrible. I know I’m doing the right thing for myself and the kids, but I can’t stop empathizing with my wife’s condition and predicament. It feels more like I’m losing a part of myself than guilt. But I can’t let her back, putting our lives and emotional health at risk.
Anybody have experience with this kind of situation? I should get some therapy for myself and kids, I imagine…