I didn’t noticed it was for families with military background… I was just looking for a online version of the NAMI family course.
My ADHD at work again! Didn’t notice that detail.
I am sure it will have lots of useful information. I’ve been hoping we’d hear from someone who had taken this online class. So many people can’t commit to the time or distance of NAMI’s Family to Family class.
I am registered for this online course but there isn’t one going on presently. I will receive an email when the next one is starting.
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I went to the dentist this morning and when the dentist asked why I hadn’t been there for 4 YEARS, I simply replied “I’ve been busy”.
Did keep up with my flossing and brushing so it wasn’t bad at all.
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I had a similar experience when I finally went to my internal medicine doctor, three years overdue for an annual physical. I told her “I’ve been busy, and here’s why…”.
As it turned out, my doctor’s daughter was diagnosed about a year before my son was, so we were both traveling the same sad, hellish path.
You just never know what’s happening in people’s lives.
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@hope I went to the dentist today too: teeth cleaning. All OK, but some signs of neglect.
@Day-by-Day yes, you just never know what’s happening in people’s lives. Wow, you both were on that same path through the same years… wow
@Windyhill63 I hope the online class starts soon for you. I feel lucky I have three NAMI groups within 1/2 hour drive. I can go north, south or east to find a meeting three times a month.
I myself am doing awful today. My daughter continues to do well, and so the problem with my husband is seeming worse and worse to me. I am going to have to force him to rehab tomorrow. Rehab is set up, but he won’t go. His alcoholism has been enabled by my ignoring it for years, to this point. Because it is episodic and usually non-violent and non-aggressive, I’ve ignored handling the problem. It will probably mean divorce, losing my house, losing the business in our house (back house rental), and working the rest of my life (never able to retire). But this can’t go on. I can’t sleep. Too worried.
@oldladyblue, I’m glad things remain stable for your daughter, but I’m so sorry about the terrible challenges with your husband. I hope something positive can happen, to turn that situation around. I’m wishing you some peace today.
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@oldladyblue I am so sorry- a dental appointment and trying to make a potentially life changing decision.
Really hoping this is going better than you expect it will.
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@oldladyblue - So sorry to hear about your possible life change. Let’s hope your husband goes to rehab and comes back and it all works out. There is always so much worry. I just went to FL to visit my BF. I didn’t realize how beautiful it was - you are lucky to live in such a pretty state!
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@oldladyblue. I am sorry you are feeling awful. Has your husband gone to AA before with a sponsor? Have you tried Alanon? These programs give good tools for living, and in alonon, you will learn what you can do, and what you cannot. Does your husband want to be sober? I ask, since I know he must himself want the help for it to work. Alonon would be great for you before making any major decisions. I am so glad your daughter is doing well.
My daughter had a serious dents, issue. Her face and eye collapsed from an infection. She went to the dentist. He said either extraction or root canal. She went for the root canal, and did great! I am so proud of her. Not a peep. Dentist said she was great. Only issue was the temporary crown fell out and she threw it into the trash. Since she has issues with contamination, I could not explain it to the dentist, but silently laughed. All good now, thank Gd
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Whew, thank you for the support above. I needed it today. So much emotional turmoil.
It seems that he has finally agreed to go to a live in rehab, with a follow up intensive part time program, and then a step down support group. It is set up for Monday at 9:30 am. I hope he really wants to do it, he says so, but he also knows that I will divorce him, and risk losing all stability in my life (my house and the rental income) as I can’t take the emotional cost anymore. Earlier plans (AA, Alanon, therapy, etc.) didn’t work, as I guess he wasn’t really on board… I have no idea @Cerium if he WANTS to be sober, but at least he is going to try this program. Yes @DianeR this is such a beautiful area to live in, I have a great place to live beauty-wise. Loads of scenery, plants, wildlife and sunshine. Thank you @hope, it is time to handle this problem for good, for my own soul. @Day-by-Day the day went better than I had thought. Right now I have some hope that perhaps he will find recovery beginning too. Work went super well, I got a surprise raise! It’s funny that you wanted something positive for me, and it happened.
Thank you all. I hope you have good things come your way too.
@Cerium I am very glad your daughter did well at the dentist. Glad you laughed about the crown in the trash. 
Well. Today I am mystified at the treatment at the State hospital where my son lives. He is doing very very well and has made such progress that he is chafing at the bit to work on his treatment more than an hour or so a day with a counselor visit once a week.
Last night he called- all visits have been cancelled for two weeks because of a chicken pox outbreak, and also some of the activities between units. The library is closed. He’s frustrated. No visit for us on Mother’s Day.
His concern last night was twofold: he wonders why the tv in the day room is constantly turned on to cop/criminal shows or drug/overdose shows, or the most upsetting to him, the “alien invaders/unknown mysteries” shows. He is expected to “be social” and that means mingle with others in the common area, where he has to listen to stuff that bothers him.
He wonders if constant exposure to this kind of junk tv is healthy for anyone, let alone those living with delusions and hallucinations. I suggested he tell his concern to someone on the staff and he said that if he did, they would probably cut down on what they could watch or take away the tv and he didn’t want to be responsible for that kind of upset. He even wrote out a concern form and turned it in but then took it back after another patient told him it would look bad on him if he brought up that kind of stuff.
His other concern regarded a disciplinary mark he got because he picked up a stick when the group was out on a walk on the grounds. He feels wrongly accused and wants to be able to tell his side and correct a statement that was made by an aide. He now understands that it was seen as a weapon and even though he picked it up innocently (as did another patient) it was taken seriously and he knows that and why he shouldn’t have done it. I suggested he find a way to give his side of the story. He is hesitant to bring it up to his treatment team because he fears it will be seen as whining and not taking responsibility. He is so anxious about wanting to not make mistakes that will keep him there longer than necessary.
.Poor guy, he really wants to follow his treatment plan, he is motivated, remorseful of his crime, and I have never seen him thinking so clearly. I think his concerns are legitimate and he has a right to express them, but the fear of it interfering with his care plan by being misunderstood is holding him back. And he is 23 and has to figure out these things. The care team isn’t interested in hearing much from me.
So there he is, mystified and frustrated and on house hold for two weeks. And I am too.
I think your son would do best not to make any waves, and try to get through his time there. He does have legit concerns, but just encourage him to tough it out. I mean, if you think he is getting better psychiatric-wise, it’s worth him staying, right?
Can you send him a book or music that can entertain him instead of waiting bad tv?
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He has books, music and videos but he must watch them in his room. They want him to be social in the day room and what’s where the bad tv is. Even if he reads in there, it feels like its in his face. It’s almost like a Catch 22. I am in agreement that he not make waves, but he’s learning to stand up for himself and these two issues are prominent for him right now. I’m kind of proud that he has enough insight to see the double standard here. He has said he isn’t going to do anything about them, so he was just probably just griping to me.
But honestly, don’t you think it is odd for them to be able to watch those kind of shows in the forensics unit of the state mental hospital?
Hi WAmac,
It is odd, but from what I’ve heard from my husband (who has been in State Hospitals as well as prison), it is common for “clients” or inmates in prison to choose action/violent films or sexy films to watch. They are, in consensus, the ones choosing the films and the staff want the patients to be content with what they’re watching, so as long as it’s not porn, it is allowed. They don’t want to watch documentaries or educational films, for some reason. Perhaps they like the escapism and vicarious thrills?
Are there any activity groups or work groups your son could join to fulfill the “social” aspect instead? I don’t know what state you’re in (maybe WA?), but in CA there are programs for group learning and simple jobs where cooperation is involved that would fulfill that issue.
Hope you and your daughter are doing well. I’ve had quite a difficult time with my husband lately. He was great for a year, then he decided to go off his medication and crashed. Now he is isolating, pushing me away. I really miss him. He is my best friend and has always been there for me with my mental illness. His intelligence seems to have diminished. He keeps asking me the same questions. He doesn’t make sense half the time and he can’t understand reason. I wish he could just see that he needs to take his medication, and how much better he would be. I’ve been praying to God, we are both Catholic, I will say the Rosary for him tomorrow. He said many Rosaries for me when I was sick. I love him so much I want him to be better.
Things are looking good for my daughter… her voices and anxieties are being managed with her medication… she is considering different prospects for after graduation…
So why am I still feeling sad? Is it because things could very well always be harder for her?
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Sorry. I “liked” this post before getting to the part of you being sad.
I am happy your daughter is doing well! Be glad of that!
I am glad for that… but still lingering sadness…
A mixture of glad and sad… if that makes any sense…
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I think the sadness is the grieving for what might have been going forward or grieving for what it used to be.
NAMI tells us our number one personal issue as parents is that our mourning for what our children have lost to scz never stops. Its just like real grief for a deceased child. Our grief, which is real, is unrecognized by society in general.
The mourning doesn’t go away, we just get better at carrying it around with us.
If the mourning should become unbearable and you don’t get better at living with it, a therapist can help you. The grief is one of the reasons NAMI recommends that family members use a therapist for themselves. Another reason is that often parents are on different levels of understanding the situation that scz has presented in their family. A therapist can help parents keep their relationship together.
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