In high school, I hated when one of my friends would start dating someone and vanish, only to reappear when they needed a shoulder to cry on. They might have been awesome friends when they were single, but I stopped bothering with them pretty quickly. Why would I invest in a relationship with someone who didn’t seem to really care about me?
Sometimes it seems like my friends vanish when I need them the most. Or maybe I just don’t have time for them anymore. Or I’m always cancelling because, honestly, I’m exhausted and I’d rather just do laundry and go to bed. But as a caregiver, it’s all too easy to stop being a friend and become a list of needs. The truth is: you need someone to vent to. You need someone to help you run errands. You need someone to be around when you need them and completely understand when you vanish for a while.
Does it feel like your friends vanished when you became a caregiver? Here’s how to stay in touch.