Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

This board is not helpful to me

Thanks. Nice. Thia board is really great.

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I often read the posts but feel that I have nothing constructive to add. When I have had a similar experience, or dealt with the same med issues, or can offer sympathy and hope I do.

Like others have said, sometimes I need a break from the discussion. There are many people on this forum who are experiencing more trying times than I am. Sometimes what I read frightens me - what if my daughter stopped taking her meds and became aggressive and destructive? Or became suicidal again? The posts can be triggering - bringing to mind extremely painful times.

I’m sorry you don’t feel supported. Sometimes the answers are not quite what we want to hear. I hope that moving forward you can benefit from the collective wisdom the forum has to offer.

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In these discussions we need to be open minded take what resonates with you and let the rest fall until we need it. There is no direct answer to any question - I find each and everyone of you amazing and I thank you for being on this journey with me🥰

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@susan031367 This is a safe forum in which people can vent their frustration and grief in regards to dealing with mental illness, whether for themselves and/or family members. There is often an overwhelming sense of loss – feeling frustrated that things aren’t different, and feeling frustrated that we have no control over this situation, and feeling worried about our loved ones. One can be in any of the stages at any time, sometimes simultaneously. Hurt, Shock, Numbness, Denial, Emotional Outbursts, Anger, Fear, Confusion, Anxiety, Loneliness, Guilt, Isolation … Once we have adjusted, we can often move on and experience some stages that give us hope, including helping others. Every individual has a unique approach. It may be something you cannot identify with, in which case you can choose to simply ignore it. Regardless of approach, the comments are intended to be helpful. No doubt you reached out because you were needing to be heard, and wanting to connect with people that could understand the situation and commiserate with the pain you are feeling. In that regard, everyone here has experienced the loss associated with mental illness, and it should give you hope – that many have adjusted even though the loss never goes away. With a little help, you can adjust, too. Hang in there, and you will discover new strengths, new patterns and new relationships. Wishing you all the best.

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Message me if youd like to chat!

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Of all people, we especially need to show patience with each other. Some of the persons you have criticized have the most “likes” on this Forum. Most of us truly want to help others. Empathy is important, so I apologize for any lack of that you felt. My goal is to give people information that is useful in the limited time that I have to get on this Forum (sometimes in the middle of the night). It also takes an emotional toll on me to continue to read many of the same things over and over. I have no doubt that sometimes I come across very bluntly. One of the things I had to learn in this journey is that I had (and still have) a lot to learn. I hope to help people get moving in the direction of any recovery that is possible and not waste time. I’m truly sorry if that seems insensitive. You are wished the very best and we will continue to try to help each other to the extent that you want to participate.

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For the most part, @susan031367 your friends in the “real” world, are not capable of being your friends in the world of caregiving to someone with severe mental illness. I found absolutely no help at all when my daughter first went into psychosis from my “regular” friends. Sometimes their “advice” was destructive to my situation.

The people on this forum have very big hearts, have been through the worst sort of life trying to help their loved ones with sz. Some have had large successes, some small successes, but the compassion of everyone on this site in their struggle to help, and to keep on trying to help, is amazing. Battling sz is a lifelong struggle. No not a struggle. A war.

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I think that is come to this board when I want to read , share or ask questions of those with sza loved ones. I have been frustrated sad and mad but the fault lies in my processing and sadness not the folks here. Just my 2 cents.

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I’ve had similar responses from family and friends they just don’t know how to helpful

Yes I rarely post anymore.

Which supplements help your son?

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I’m sorry to hear you haven’t gotten what you’re looking for here but there are so many resources here that can almost definitely lead you to the answers you’re looking for. This site has been AMAZINGLY eye opening for me and gave me so many good pointers on how to maintain a healthy supportive relationship with my loved one while he overcomes the onset of his illness

My SZ person was a boyfriend. So it’s kind of different. We were living together but he moved out a month ago. I cant deal with his issues. He sucks snot CONSTANTLY and its disgusting. He moans and groans loudly all the time. Is a hypochondriac about everything. Sleeps all the time. I got sick of it. Hes 42 but like a child.

Well he does have mental illness so….

My loved one is a fiancé

Really? How old are you? How long have you been together?

I’ve read on the board that hygiene can be a problem. Jay never washes his clothes and they smell. When he comes to see me I do his laundry for him. I try to take care of him but he prefers to live like a bum on his own.

My fiancé was EXTREMELY high functioning. He was military and was very helpful around the house. We lived together and apart at times as well. His illness came out of nowhere for us not knowing moodiness and such can be a warning sign and it was not easy to recognize he was having psychosis until I realized I could not reason with him in his concerns like I used to. He is almost hyper cleanly lol. I think his case is rare because he is having his first episode of psychosis at 24. And was promptly provided the services to help him. He was the leader in our relationship and I leaned on him emotionally heavily. I have my own PTSD and bouts with other mental illnesses and addiction growing up in that sort of environment So I have no experience with those aspects. He may have changed since his psychosis has taken over so much that he is no longer able to hold a conversation without having delusions. He also had a pretty solid (in my opinion compared to my life and childhood) childhood. Not perfect though, no one is. I’m 26 and we have been together for three years. I’m hopeful since he was not as deeply experienced in drug and alcohol abuse, especially since recognizing symptoms he has had none, he will be able to regain at least the ability to hold conversation, and find a way to have as full of a life as he can. Only time will tell how his mind will react. I’m terrified to see the changes in him. To see someone who was my rock become so tortured is terrible I’m so many ways. Right now it’s devastating and all I can do is talk on the phone with him and try to provide comfort in his delusions until he is put on the right meds and receives adequate care. It will be a long hard exhausting road I can already tell. But he is worth it. Not because of my selfishness to regain my partner for me in my life but to help this BEAUTIFUL AMAZING person I fell in love with accomplish the fullest quality of life possible for him in his condition. I’ve been told to move on and give up and that it’s not worth it but no one understands. I cannot just abandon him. I will always want to check up and make sure he is ok even if I am unable to maintain a healthy relationship with him to whatever degree possible. At this point I have no expectations and only unconditional love and understanding for his situation. As another human being to another not just because I love him romantically. I think that is most important in wanting to be in a persons life who suffers from such severe mental illness.

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So sorry. This is all so new. Like only a couple months new for me and I have so much inside of me about this whole situation and my heart just bleeds for him. I am fortunate compared to a lot of these stories I’ve read because we have the best odds in our favor for his recovery. Although I’m well aware this is not a guarantee of his recovery though. His odds are just better compared to others with less support, don’t have military benefits, or just plain dumb luck genetics.

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He is not mean or accusatory or anything like that as of yet so my only feelings have been of sadness and pain for his condition. Hearing the fear in his voice and not being able to provide comfort. Right now my instinct is more maternal for him than romantic. I just love him and want him to get better.

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Hi @Donna1, It seems CBD oil, lithium orate drops, B vitamins (especially B6 & B12) help him stay level. Melatonin helps with sleep. Also Sarcosine for motivation. His mood is pretty good, but recently he has begun acting manic. You know the behaviors I’m sure; Giggling at odd times, talking with gestures to voices, pacing, tossing things etc…

He seems to have an intense manic episode every 6 months or so. The Zyperxia & supplements can’t seem to prevent it.

Although the supplements help with mood leveling, his delusions never go away. Right now he has this idea about buying a house in North Carolina. He is constantly researching it on Zillow. Keep in mind he (nor we) have ever been to NC. It is across the country from us. And the houses he finds are complete junk. Basically gutted. He doesn’t think logically at all. Yeah, he can put down a small down payment, but he’ll need to get a mortgage (he doesn’t have a job right now. ). Do a lot of TLC on these places. Get appliances, furniture, & insurance.

Sorry, I know this is more than you wanted to know, but I felt I needed to let you know the supplements seem to only help him a little. What he really needs is a good medication that stops the delusions, hallucinations, voices etc…

Also, we live in a state that is all about personal rights. It is nearly impossible for us to get any form of guardianship (even temporary) so we could get him on a better medication. He does talk to his therapist once a week though.

Sorry I wish I had better answers for you. I have found @Maggotbrane to be one of the best sources on this site. And all the other helpful caregivers.

Definitely no easy fix for this horrible disease.

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