Wow! @Kutiekay your boyfriend is so fortunate to have you in his life! Yes, family & friend support is so important to helping people with Sz have any semblance of a “normal” life.
My son is 33 & has lived with my husband & I about 5 years. He has a college degree & worked in another state prior to moving in with us then 3 years in outside sales for a company here.
The first episode we encountered with him was in November 2018. But, we think he probably had one sooner when living outside state with his college roommates. He started distancing himself from them & saying they were not on the same path as him. He then moved into his own place & started to close himself off from friends.
He lost his job there when he blew up at his supervisor. Weird thing is, we (my husband & his brother) never connected any of this to an MI. He stayed out of state until his lease ran out.
When here he worked but then started talking negatively about his manager & coworkers. Suddenly he quit. Then he began spending more time alone & in bed. Over the summer of 2018 he started getting nasty to us & accusing us of being against him. We definitely didn’t pick up on the signs. We thought it was a phase, he was going through a rough time etc…
Then he had a major episode where he backed his fairly new car into someone’s garage because he thought they were holding someone captive. This was in another town north of us. Needless to say he was arrested & taken to a hospital near us. It was pretty obvious to the police he was delusional & hallucinating. He was very compliant with the police.
So this is where our story with all this started. I am so glad I found this blog. My friends, family, & neighbors just don’t get it. All try to be supportive though.
Just like you, we want our happy, intelligent son back. We realize though this is our new normal. No easy answers to SZ, but at least we can support each other here.
Best of luck to you & your boyfriend! You sound amazing!
Thank you so much! It’s definitely not easy 
my heart breaks every day anew
I’m so sorry! Hang in there!
It probably won’t ever be perfect, but it does get better. Inch by inch, day by day. The ups with the downs. 
That’s a beautiful story. I hope you stay in his life. And I hope he gets better.
Thanks! Me too. He is just so wonderful and anyone deserves better than this. Such a cruel illness. I hope you find the answers and support you need to help you cope with what you’ve been through as well. These situations are not easy
Hi, We tried all those. Unfortunately, they were all too stimulating for my son. He even reacts to the .03% THC in all CBD. And to some of the 0.00%
THC in a few CBDs. He’s so sensitive. I’m looking into turpenes in aromatherapy now. Sounds bizarre but they’re used in many medicines.
Your son sounds like mine a few years ago. My friend had to hire a lawyer who specializes in this to have a legal guardian appointed. She lives in WA state and it’s not easy there either. I was living in MN temporarily when I got guardianship. It was easy. They’re very good with mental health supports. Can you believe they give 30 days respite per year to the family caregiver and eventually I had my son live in a beautiful home with only three of them and 24/7 care. I’d go back but it’s so cold there.
That’s interesting about your son being fixated on NC. My sister lives in the Raleigh area and it’s really nice there and I considered moving there until I read it gets an F in mental health care. But that may change as thousands of people are relocating there every year. And the University hospital has a schizophrenia department.
My son is fixated on London. I read that these moving fixations are a result of them thinking they will be all better in the new place and also escape the traumas they’ve endured from the illness.
I’d look into a lawyer and try to find a way to afford it. It may save his life. Once my friend’s son got a guardian, the guardian put him in a group home with mandated meds and therapy and eventually he had to earn privileges to leave the home and get a job and eventually an apartment with one other young man.
My friend is so happy and they visit all the time. But she nearly lost him.
Unfortunately, we don’t have good group homes in MA.
I hope you can get your son in better health. It starts with the legal system. Keep trying.
I just signed up for a mentor through Curesz.com. I want to learn what else I can do to help my son get even better.
I hope this isn’t too long for you. And no, that wasn’t more than I wanted to know. It’s helpful to hear others going through the same thing though I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But it makes me feel less alone in this. “Normal” families just can’t relate or they make hurtful judgements. Ugh!
Stay in touch and let me know how you are all doing.
Take Good Care,
Jenna
Hi Jenna, Thanks for the response. I need to look into Turpenes. Washington state is exactly where we leave. Ghee, I wish I could connect with your friend. Actually, a couple of days ago I spoke with my son’s lawyer & she advised getting guardianship. She can’t help us, & doesn’t know the logistics of that, so she is going to send us a list of lawyers in the area that do. I’m so glad your friend’s son is doing better now since the guardianship was started.
I actually signed up for Curesz last year. I spoke with Bethany, who started the program, and she connected me with a mentor who lives in Ohio. My mentor is helpful, but her situation is a bit different as they discovered their son had Sz when he was a teenager. He is now taking Clozapine & is complaint. Working part time. I am also reading Bethany’s book, Mind Estranged.
My son has 0 insight. I’ve read Dr. Armador’s book & attended one of his work shops. But my husband & I can’t seem to convince my son his behavior’s are a problem that is preventing him from having a good life & are putting him in the hospital.
I wish we were in MN, even CA has better MI laws then WA. A month of respite care would be amazing! We were actually going to go to Hawaii today, but had to cancel due to this recent episode. 
Last year the Social worker who evaluated my son in jail decided to release him, but before he came out he bashed his head repeatedly on the floor, he later said he was commanded to do so by his higher self. So he was sent to the hospital. Nearly killing oneself is what it takes here in WA to be put in the hospital. He is very articulate when he needs to be & can really work the Social workers & therapists.
He has actually set up a Zoom meeting with a realtor in NC for today. He hasn’t trimmed his beard in a long while, so he certainly won’t make a good impression. Ghosh, I hope this wanting to move across the country will blow over! And NC gets an F in MI care! I didn’t think there could be any place worse than WA.
Interesting that your son wants to move to London. Yeah, fresh start I guess.
I’ll let you know how his call goes with the realtor. Not well I’m pretty sure.
Bless you! Thank you for all the great advice! We are getting a lawyer for guardianship A.S.A.P.
Laurel
HiLaurel, I checked with my friend on Camano island there in WA. I’m sorry but she didn’t want to talk. I don’t know why because I was so helpful to her when her son was going through such a difficult time. You’d think she’d want to “pass it on”? I know they hired a lawyer to get a court appointed guardian. She had to document all his abnormal behaviors.
It was really difficult but she finally got one. The guardian immediately pkscex her son in a group hone where he had to earn everything from cigs to other privileges. After that he got supportive apartment with a roommate.
I hope you found a lawyer and it’s going well for you. Sorry bug I don’t get on this so it’s much.
I understand you are frustrated. Many of us find this board very helpful not just for the replies to out posts or even thr ability to read others posts. Sometimes the opportunity to help others when we are lost in our own pain is the most cathartic thing we can do. You seem to feel some have been antagonistic that most that have responded to you like me, don’t see it the same way. Is it possible with some self reflection that maybe there is a small bit of paranoia in how you are interpreting their responses? My experiences have taught me that often when you live or work with those that frequently attack you or are paranoid themselves we develop our own unhealthy coping mechanism and paranoia is a byproduct. We face so much, the idea of another attack is too much so we see what isn’t there. I give you support regardless because we are in a boat…maybe different types of boats but similar none the less. Grace to you and wishing you the best.
Thank you for checking with your friend on Camino. Currently my son is being compliant about his meds and therapy. The whole house buying in NC fell through. But he did by a used car that barely runs. His plan was to drive across the country to NC. But, we have convinced him not to go. We found a lawyer to help with Guardianship, but since he is doing better and agreeing to do a PACT program, we are holding off for now.
That’s so good to hear! Unfortunately, my friend’s son has gone off his meds and is having a setback. Everyone is different and if they see the value in taking their meds then they’re more likely to stay on them. My son takes them himself and says they help him (with specific symptoms) yet he denies having schizoaffective disorder! He doesn’t have to accept the illness as long as he accepts the meds.
Glad things are better for you and tgat you have a backup plan.
My son’s on Invega trenza low dose once every three months. He’s been on this for about 2 years now and is doing very well.
My son refuses to work anymore. New World Order imminent. Yet needs money for food. I’m like ‘when the F does the NWO kick in?’ Then send him $$.
@Sando Sorry to hear your son isn’t working any longer. I was very hopeful he had improved. Is he still on clozapine?
Thanks CN! He’s still on Clozapine although we’ve had a few recent times where he cancelled his lab work appointment which delayed his prescription refill. He teeters on not wanting to continue meds (matrix, witchcraft, etc) but so far has moved forward.
Quitting the job was frustrating. But he seems to be open to starting again after a break. Haven’t pressed… yet. But when I reference his apartment and roommate and need to help, he sometimes claims he’s being ‘forced to work’.
He persists in the delusion that the New World Order is coming soon. And that his time is short. And that thus he just wants to enjoy life. (Me too!). The logic in this position isn’t consistent with other parts of his delusions.
But, I’m Never comfortable unpacking that line of thinking as it’s always a hazy, confusing, and leads to him getting frustrated unless we use LEAP (in lieu of LOGIC).
Sooo, we’ve heard recently that his SSI approval is pending and hoping for him to desire to work again to pay his part from part-time earnings.
But thanks for checking in! Means a lot.
@Sando
After waiting 7 months to hear something we just found out our son’s SSI was denied because his condition isn’t “severe enough to prevent him from being able to work”. He wants to work and somehow manages to get hired places but the stress of a job seems to cause a lot of anxiety and break through symptoms so he ends up quitting after a few weeks. I don’t understand how they determined that “hearing his own thoughts” out loud wouldn’t interfere with his ability to work. Anywho, sorry for the rant- it’s just frustrating. We are going to appeal the decision but I’m not expecting an approval. My hope is that on this new medication he will be able to hold a job which would ultimately be better for him anyway rather than sitting around the house all the time. I hope your son is approved for it!
What a screwed up system. So very sorry. I’ll let you guys know if we get screwed as well.