Getting a birthday card message like this from my sz son today, makes my spirit soar…and helps a whole lot to mellow and fade all of the past bad memories and dischord we have survived.
If I could convey one important message to all of my fellow sz caretakers it would be that when your loved one screams at you that they hate you and wish you were gone or dead, ask yourself one critical question: “Is my loved one stable right now?” If the answer is “no” please disregard what they have said and continue helping them as much as you can.
If you are their caretaker you are without a doubt the most important and most beloved person they know even if they can’t express that…yet.
Today is a happy day for me.
I wish all of you --happy days to come.
(ps: the front of the card was a picture of an otter so the otter reference)
Catherine,
This is great. what a blessing to receive a nice birthday card from your Son.
One day I will receive that Card. now, when I call him and he is reasonable, he tell me that he loves me.
when he gets sicker toward the end of the month, he is not nice to me.
With Hope and prayers will get there…
God bless you all
Happy birthday Catherine! What a blessing to get this on your special day. I know how you feel. Last month on my birthday my daughter sat me down and said “Mom, I just want you to know you never have to feel guilty about my illness. You have always been the best mom and have always did everything you possibly could for me and I will always love you for it.” It’s things like this that give us everlasting hope. Peace and love to you and your beautiful son.
Happy birthday Catherine. You’ve been through so much with your son. It’s so nice to see he has gratitude and calmness with you. That’s great progress.
Of course this is all contingent on him staying on medication, but I feel like I’m starting to get a better rhythm going with my own son. My skin is thicker and I’m learning to detach. I still get angry and sad that this all happened to my son, but thank goodness I have my husband and my daughter to lift me back up.
After a year of medication, I’m pretty sure my son believes I’m on his side and I’m not a threat. He’s still paranoid of the rest of the world, and me every so often, but it is what it is.
Maybe I’ll get a card again someday. I always used to, before my son became ill. I totally get why you posted this thread.
Hi Catherine! Happy Birthday - and what a beautiful Birthday gift from your son!!
I rarely post here but follow other posts regularly. I had to respond to this post, though, as I also received a card from my SZ son this year on Mothers Day. It was the first card I received from him in about 6 years when his illness was still in the prodromal phase. It took a year and half of meds on a mental health commitment for him to get to this point of stability - so receiving this card was all I needed to help me realize that he still loved me and appreciated all I tried to do to help him up to this point. My husband said that card ‘made his year’ - even though he didn’t get a Father’s Day card. I guess all you can do is be thankful for these ‘good’ days - that’s for sure!
I picked out a special card for my sister while she was committed to inpatient and then got to talk to her and hear that she really appreciated it. It felt so good!
