Glad to hear @Mojoclay that you are taking classes and navigating your new path as best you can. Life has so many unwanted twists and turns, making the most of what you can do to make it happier is so very important.
I am doing well, I am now one year post breast cancer surgery, treatments after surgery were hell for me, but I made it through, and have no evidence of the disease anymore. My daughter continues to do well, is still on her meds and still working (now 2.5 years at her current job). My husband got a DUI and is on an alcohol monitor, so thankfully no alcohol abuse going on right now to disturb the peace in my home. My hobbies have kept me happy.
Thats amazing. I hope you continue to heal. So glad to hear about your daughter !
Ill keep my my fingers crossed and pray that the hubs keeps away from the alcohol.
I also have some fun hobbies that have kept me happy , its so important.
Best wishes to you girl !
That’s a lot to endure!!! I’m glad you made it through the harsh treatments and that your daughter is doing well and taking her meds, your story makes us have hope; even when you can’t control what others do and certainly adds up to one’s concern I hope your husband turns away from the temptation of alcohol. I have not experienced what you have all at once and from what I perceive with my lens I can say that you are very resilient. May God bless you always.
Hugs from me.
Thanks so much for your hugs @rosyd . Yes, I wondered why I was tested with so much during the same years, but I learned to have hope even during the darkest times, and to realize that prayers are answered, but sometimes not in the way I think they should be answered, or in the time I think it should occur in. I am so very thankful that all 3 of us pulled out of our problems and are living life in a better state now.
It takes so much work and education and persistence to handle schizophrenia, mostly education and trying out ideas that seem useful. My daughter now can see her illness behind her. She couldn’t see it for years, when in it, and even for the first year of meds. Using the police and courts helped my daughter, and is the reason why my husband is sober now (alcohol monitor). Me, well I was blessed with a curable cancer.
Thanks for being in touch @Mojoclay and @Sando . It’s good to hear from you.
And to those still fighting for improvements in their loved ones: you have to keep fighting, if you stop, then no one is fighting for them. Good luck and God’s strength to you all.
Dear oldladyblue, all I can say right now is that we have days that seem eternal and that God answers our prayers when He considers is best for everyone’s concern as you have experienced: in His own time and way. I know He’s walking along our side all the time and He has not left us alone; I’m still hoping for my son to accept his lot and trying to learn all I can about his illness to cope the best way we can. Since I think SMI for my son is a lot of things in one, I was watching even videos about dementia with Teepa Snow and that has also been very helpful in dealing with my son: things he says, his behaviors, yelling etc.
It’s really great to hear from you “… thankful that all 3 of us pulled out of our problems and…”! Isn’t God great! We go through hard stretching to hopefully be better persons!
May God blessings continue to be poured upon you and your family! And thank you for your testimony of strength, hope and gratitude.
Yes, that is the right way for sure, the more info you have the more choices seem to open up in life. Knowing the facts about schizophrenia also helped me be brave to make hard choices at the right time.
[Knowing the facts about schizophrenia also helped me [be brave to make hard choices at the right time.
May I ask what is the hardest you’ve ever done? I think I’ve been there done that and definitely it’s an unpleasant experience; calling 911 has been hard, taking control from him and making a decision because he wasn’t able to decide for himself has been one of the hardest things for me to do.
Thank you for your encouraging words of hope and resilience, educating ourselves is of foremost importance with SMI. I hope one day I can say ‘aha, I got it’!
The very first time I called 911 on my daughter was the hardest thing for me to do.
I waited so long, overlooking other times I could/should have called, thinking somehow I could avoid trying to involve police and hospitals. I felt like a traitor trying to impose my will on an adult that I loved. The truth is that in total I probably ended up with the police at my home over 40 times one year. It never got easy to call, but it eventually because utterly and totally clear that ONLY my forced help was going to help her.
Yes, I hope you too one day can say “aha, I got it”. You have to keep trying.
Thank you for your reply. Sorry for not getting back with you sooner, this is the busiest month!
I was feeling bad myself for calling 911 so many times, I lost track of the number of times I’ve called; a few of those times hearing the cops saying something like: " did you call only because your son has been so long in the shower?" And I felt stupid for doing that, but then I remember that I had called because he was very agitated! Another time I called 911 because he was out of control and he was stumping his foot and he was refusing his meds, privately the cop came to talk to me and he said: “I always tell my kids that is better to stump their feet than hit someone”! True also. But when I have my son breaking the window at a hotel and kicking the toilet because he’s unmedicated and hallucinating and having to pay for the damages (with his money of course) I know he had to be stopped and I had to take control. It’s really hard; then it seems like he just doesn’t relate the consequences of going unmedicated and getting in trouble.
I’m keeping the hope, I might not see it in this life but I just hope that I do the best I can at the right time. Your story is inspiring.
Thank you for your encouragement.
Hugs to you and your family.
We do what we have to do to help our family member and ourselves. The police are limited in what they can and can’t do, but it is nice to have them respond when things get rough and we feel threatened. Yes, you have to keep the hope, and do the best you can in the moment even when it feels hard or hopeless. I do understand that your son can’t always relate what is a consequence of going unmedicated. And yes, it could be worse, so remember to give thanks for any small wins or stabilities. Did you ever read the book “I am not Sick, I don’t Need Help”? I really think that book and the family-to-family course by NAMI are so valuable.
Thank you for your encouragement and kind support; yes, I’ve read doctor Xavier Amador’s book ’ I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help’, it’s been helpful but lately I’ve been watching lots of videos with different instructors and psychology doctors that train family and personal in the dementia field, they’ve been very helpful and specific about many similarities with my loved one regarding anosognosia, behavior, forgetfulness and even aggression. While my son is not really taking full dosage of Invega but half of it I’m able to at least sleep through the night. I’d love to have him to improve but for the moment that’s what we have.
We’re grateful for the opportunity to grow ourselves.
Oh woohoo you are able to sleep through the night!! That is so great. I never got a full night sleep for the 3 years of my daughter’s active psychosis unless I ran away (i.e. left her alone and home and went somewhere for a few days or a week).
Setting your sights on one improvement at a time might be best for you. Keep working daily to improve the one thing that you feel might be able to easily change. Best of luck.
Dear oldladyblue, yes it’s a blessing to be so tired at the end of the day that I’m able to ignore his talking in the LR during the night; his talking is not compared to the loud and lewdness threatening yelling, stumping and pounding in the shower, kitchen and living room of couple of months ago (it was going for years on and off) that really startled me when I was asleep and woke me up feeling very uneasy and just like you: unable to sleep, not functioning properly myself, feeling as if my mind was frozen or stuck thinking about his struggle; yes, he has had periods of meds compliance and he was ok but lately it’s been about 5 years of hard periods of having him going unmedicated, so for now having him to take half dose of Invega is better than nothing. I’m grateful for today’s in spite of the challenges, which are many. He has courts hearings coming up, not the first time, and I hope something good comes out of this.
You’re absolutely right about setting improvements one at a time: my own! It really helps to learn how to communicate and behave with my loved one especially when he’s not so lovable!
It’s always great to hear from you, you’re a great support. Thank you! Take care.