Back again! As you all may recall, my husband was released from the hospital a week and a half ago. The day he came out he was using drugs again, and that drug use spiraled for the week.
On Sunday we went back to the VA bcz he wanted to be admitted. There were no beds. I knew bad things were going to happen and they did. More drug use, refused to go back the next day, etc. On Tuesday we went back to the VA and I had to fight like I have never fought to get him in. I have never seen anything like it. My husband wanted in so bad he told them he is suicidal and homicidal… and they were sending him home. I literally called every number of anyone I had ever spoken to at the VA while sitting in the ED but the Dr refused to admit- he sent him for an outpatient drug assessment. We waited in that building for 2 hours. Finally a counselor walked up and was surprised we were there- she was told he had been admitted. She took us back to the ED and he was admitted.
I saw him yesterday, right at 48 hours, and I was shocked. He was paranoid and delusional but he finally, on his third visit, told them he hears voices (“but it’s ok bcz it’s people I know”). He seems committed to staying so he can do rehab, but I don’t know how long he’ll handle it. We discussed seroquel again for sleep and I’m hoping he takes it. The counselor told him that “we hear that all the time” when he asked if anyone had ever told them they have neural implants and communicate with others in their mind. I don’t know if that convinced him the VA is refusing to admit the military inserts neural implants into soldiers, but it did make him feel not alone, which is good. He felt safe enough to admit it. He’s obviously not doing well… the nurses somehow let a visitor’s phone get through and when he saw it he was not coming in the room until they took it and turned it off. He’s full of conspiracies about people there. I think the first few days there amps up the psychosis somehow… or he’s finally showing it. Now to get him to take medication.
When he was out and staying in a hotel last week I spent a lot of time with him, so I could observe his functioning and demeanor day by day. It was fascinating. Yes, he was using a lot of drugs and I could see that. (I didn’t see the drugs, just the effects). But even with the drugs I saw a real shift in that he believes that while nothing is wrong with him, he needs to be in the VA for safety and to get help with PTSD causing him to use drugs. The fact that he gets that something is going on is HUGE. It’s also interesting that even without meds after a week there he is much less delusional. It’s almost as if he hides it from them.
I just read another post from a mom who talked about the scary things her son says to her and someone replied that the scary things are meant to scare someone away. I would have never thought of that, but that is exactly 100% my husband’s actions since June. I appreciate reading that as it was a light bulb moment.