I don’t even know the last time I was here, so I’ll update. My husband has been in the hospital 4 times (as of today) since August. I came here originally after he had a complete psychotic break early in the summer. He’d been having delusions (mind control, implants, etc.etc.) for some time. In summer 2015 he was diagnosed with drug induced psychosis.
He has no other diagnosis in terms of sz. He knows he has borderline personality disorder, ptsd, anxiety, depression, etc. He takes no meds except street drugs and aspirin.
Last time in the hospital he begged for drug rehab. They refused to accept him. He punched a shower door, broke his hand, and because he had a cast he couldn’t stay in the ward so they let him go. The night he broke his hand, however, he did get halidol. Apparently iv Valium didn’t work.
He’s been on a huge binge for 4 days. He contacted me this morning after standing me up yesterday (did I say he wants to come home?). His ankle was so swollen he couldn’t walk, the ED said it was sprained. I’d bet anything it’s edema due to his drug use, but what do I know. He had also cut off his cast. He wanted to go to the ED to be admitted. I took him… they let him go. This time I marched him back in, demanded to see the ER doc, and basically berated the guy. I gave my husband a choice that I would IVC him or he must tell the doc the truth. He sheepishly told him he’s suicidal and homicidal… I gave the doc examples…so they admitted. My husband told me he might ask for halidol again for anxiety while he’s there. I hope so. Anything. Last time he said he’d ask for seroquel and didn’t, so we’ll see.
I thought his issues were drug induced, then SZ, then drug induced, now I’m not sure. After the drugs clear his system he’s almost normal. A weird normal, but ok. I found a love letter he wrote a few weeks ago to a star he has persistent delusions about and their child. I just found it, as I’m washing his nasty clothes from his binge. I’m so upset. Reading how much he misses her and wants her to find him when 2 days later he was begging to come home and loves me… I’m beside myself. How dumb is that? Being furiously hurt and jealous of a delusion? All I can think is, I’m killing myself getting him help. I’m caring for him. And that’s the person he misses? But he’s been saying since then he misses me! Somebody help me bcz I tell you, I think I’m losing it. My husband is ill and I am jealous of a 3 week old letter. Oh, and the rehab they will send him to this time is in the same city as his ex wife. 5 hours away from me. Imagine what that will do to his delusions because… she is on the news there! In real life! What is the likelihood! Not that she will see him in person but I am sure he will be obsessed. I just want to cry as I fold his stupid clothes. I know this may be my life. I can handle a lot, but feeling second or third best to fictional and past women, well, that’s hard to handle. I guess if he starts talking about coming home again I’ll say something about no love letters to exes? Certainly can’t say no love letters to delusions of famous people and their children!This is ridiculous!!! I’m ridiculous!
Anyway. Thanks for listening to the rant. I actually saw something in another post about PTSD? Maybe a link with sz? I’m not sure. I searched the boards but don’t see anything recent. Does anyone have any info about ptsd and sz?
Thank you. I’m sorry for my petty rant. Maybe it’s getting him admitted today and hormones but I am not handling this well. I just don’t know how to handle all of this.