I gotta say those on this site that comment and offered reassuring words were a huge comfort to me. My husband still hasn’t come back but continues to send me messages that are hateful ranting on and on. Well I finally broke, quite literally, and had to be admitted into the psychiatric ward and spend the night there. They say I had a mental breakdown. As I’ve said I have issues too which is why it’s hard to deal with his mania. I have Bipolar 2, major depressive disorder, severe anxiety, and panic disorder. My mind and spirit finally got tired and it broke into. I’ve never been hospitalized before but I tell you after they gave me meds I’ve not had so much peace in a very long time. They changed my meds to Seroquil, Limictal, and Klonopin; anyone know about these and if they have bad side effects that they failed to mention to me? Or do they work for you if you’re taking them? Once he heard I was admitted he called the hospital and I refused his calls. I was released today and my phone was full of hateful messages of why I was in the hospital. Then he changed to loving me again and wanting to work on our marriage and being sorry. Then back to the ranting and hateful messages. I still feel like my spirit is broken into pieces and I’ve not had peace since I arrived back home. I’m afraid I’ll end up back at the psyche ward and I’ve got kids I can’t afford to be away for days. Things are at rock bottom and I feel defeated. Thanks for allowing me to share with you all.
I am so sorry this has spiraled so quickly. I hate to say this, but you might have to ignore him and concentrate on you and the kids.
I know you love him, but you have every right to say that his hateful messages are harming you and if he’s going to keep it up, you don’t want him around you. I know you want him home and getting help. But not like this… around kids. It seems like his family is willing to listen to you. You might have to tell them what is going on and let them know that you love him, but if he’s going to be vile and hateful, he can’t be around you and especially the kids.
I know you love him and what to help him, but you have to be there for yourself first. Please don’t feel guilty for not being there for him. I know he’s crumbling, but even when I was crumbling, I still had consequences to my actions and his consequences just might be forced hospitalization when he starts lashing out at someone else because he can’t lash out at you.
I know it’s hard, I know your heart broken, I know you’re not feeling at your strongest… I do hope you gather the family around for the sake of the kids and just focus on that. You have every right to tell him that you will listen to calm conversations, not verbal abuse. I would get his family on board with this too. Let them know for you… the line of communication is open, as long as it IS conversation and not pure verbal abuse.
Good luck, I know it’s hard and I know it hurst… I’m rooting for you. I’d say, take care of yourself and your kids and what ever happens to your husband is just going to have to happen. Eventually he will end up in hospital, and then the healing will begin and he will start to stabilize. But there is no talking logic to him in this state of mind.
Thanks @SurprisedJ I have basically thought that’s what I have to do, stop caring so much and worrying even more. I let my stress levels get too high and I’m honestly tired and broken down. I’ve told him to just stay where he is b/c I haven’t the energy to tolerate this whole fiasco any longer. I’ve had to send my children with my sister while I come out of this depression and that sucks b/c they are Mama’s boys and don’t know what is going on. I haven’t explained to them that I am not well mentally so they are confused by this all. I agree with you though, I’m only going to focus on my children and myself from here on out. I hadn’t noticed but I’ve been so worried about everyone around me and their problems that I didn’t notice mines so my breakdown caused a crash and panic of unexpected dread. Thanks for talking with me, b/c at times talking to a shrink isn’t the same b/c they are analyzing you instead of listening with a sincere ear.
I’m sorry you are going through this. It sounds like your husband is to symptomatic right now to be a husband or any form of support that you may need. Ignore his calls and delete his texts. You need to center your attentions on yourself and your children. Just wanted to add my support and send some love your way.
You have some good advice here.
Is it possible for you to stay with your sister too?
Just so you are not alone so much.
Wishing you some peace x
Yes, I’ve taken those three meds and I’m still marvelously healthy.
Well, did they tell you Klonopin is potentially addictive? Klonopin is not supposed to be used for greater than three months in my opinion.
Well, did they tell you Seroquel is often terribly sedating and indicated too often in new cases of diabetes?
Good for you checking yourself into a psych hospital…you needed the rest…sometimes a short dose of heavy meds helps…in any case, if you feel the need for another admission, would your parents or relatives be able to look after your kids for a while.
I have been away for a few days, but here I am!
I have read your heart-breaking story. I’m so sorry!
So, I’ve just read, for a 3rd time, my book on handling those that are mentally ill…the bottom line is = if it feels bad, it is bad; trust your instincts!
Those that love and accept you will love to see you shine.
Please trust that you are made by God to find His “garden of eden” here.
Pray for those that are sick but remember, you are not the Savior of all of these others.
As AA says, “Let go and let God” do what He can do that you cannot do!