Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Volatile behavior?

Let me start with some backstory.

My dad has been on cocaine my entire life. It’s just a part of life for me. My boyfriend, our daughter and I, live with my parents. They’re married and my mom has always been a huge enabler to his drug habits.

This morning, my boyfriend woke me up - and he was PISSED. I hung out in bed for about ten minutes before getting up to ask him what the deal was. He said he overheard my parents talking and making snide remarks over house chores. And then he proceeded to go on a tirade about my dad - how he’s on drugs and not working. Meanwhile my boyfriend works 12 hours a night and busts his ass for me and our daughter, and my dad gets to complain about the way the house looks. My mom is always on the side of my dad.

All of this is the norm for me. I try to just move forward. There’s nothing I can do, and until we have the funds to move out, it is what it is.

But my boyfriend just went on and on about how he’s gonna beat my dads ass. Word for word, that’s what he said. He said a lot of things that I won’t repeat in fear of triggering anyone. And I just drank my coffee and listened. I said if that’s what he wants to do, that’s fine, but to inform me so I can get our daughter out of the situation. I advised him to have a conversation instead of resorting to violence. He wasn’t hearing any of it. I also told him that I know what it’s like to know your dad through a glass pane, and that I don’t want that for our daughter.

He made several direct homocidal threats towards my dad. I’m indifferent about my dad - he’s on cocaine and it is what it is. I’m more concerned for my boyfriend. Did I do the right thing by just listening and agreeing with him? If he brings this up again, should I call and get him committed? I believe he’s right in his anger, but violence won’t solve anything. I’ve never really seen this type of behavior from him, and I wonder if he’s starting down the path of paranoia. When will I know the right time to step in?

Lots of people get mad & say things like that, then they calm down.
I’ve done it myself.

I think it was good you let him vent, but I’d be watchful.
Maybe he just needed to get it out his system.

I’d recommend you guys get a place of your own as soon as you can though.
It’s hard for two families to share a house - someone’s always going to thing the others aren’t doing their share.

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It seems insignificant now. I wasn’t really upset by what he was saying, just thought it was out of character for him. He’s usually very level headed.

I wasn’t awake when the remark in question was made, so I have no idea what my parents were talking about, if anything at all. I’ve never seen him blow up over such an insignificant comment before. I’m just not sure how to take what he said and how he went about it.

To him, it probably wasn’t insignificant.

If he’s working 12 hours a day & doing his best, then had to hear someone say he wasn’t pulling his weight, that could be infuriating to even the healthiest person. He probably takes a lot of pride in doing everything he can to support you & your daughter, and he might feel bad that you guys don’t already have your own home.