Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

What would you do in my situation?


My son refuses to live in a transitional home because it is in a bad area. My son is very stubborn which does not help. He also will not live in a group home because they take his money away. He also will not go to a shelter. The problem is he has a felony on his record and it is difficult to find him a place. Now his medication was changed and he is having hallucinations. He is not allowed to be an occupant in my apartment because of his record. He was sleeping on my balcony, but because of the hallucinations he was having difficulty sleeping outside. He was seeing things and hearing things outside and I was afraid someone would complain to the office. I am allowing him to just sleep in my home and the rest of the time he is on the street. My son is also talking to voices. I have spoken to the agency and hope they will change his medication soon. It is Abilify. What would you do if in my situation??


I would do exactly what you are doing which is offering support and take it a day at a time. Do you feel safe around him? I’m dealing with something similar but I don’t feel unsafe. When they are compliant and the meds are not working, what else can we do except look for safe places they can be. Is there a day program around for people with mental illness. That would be ideal. My son wouldn’t do well on the streets. He is too impulsive and naive. I hope you find a solution for him soon and the medicine starts working. My son’s PD said Abilify takes awhile and I have many bottles of various doses. It just doesn’t seem to work with my son.


Thanks for replying. He was on Invega Sustenna, then Invega Trinza and now Abilify. With Abilify he has hallucinations and with Invega he has aggression. With the aggression I felt unsafe but now with the hallucinations no. There is a center for the homeless for the morning and afternoon times but he will not go. Also he throws his clothes out on the street. Don’t understand this. Never did this before. I am trying to get the agency to change the med.

This site is great.


My son is on Invega, lithium morning and night and Doxepin for an anxiety. His PD didn’t change anything on his last visit but said give the Invega time. Don’t you wish they had to live with our kids for a day? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


@roseo That is awful that the medicine is doing that to your son, he definitely needs his medications re-evaluated and changed to something more effective and he needs to have a safe and secure place to live and just “be”. where ever that may be. What I did when I was in your situation is keep my son close to protect him because he was delusional and unable to think clearly or rationally or fend for himself. It is my humble but strong belief that he only way our sons can get better is when they have the right medications—LOW stress —and a safe and secure environment otherwise they are sitting ducks if left to the streets. But, that’s just my opinion. Everyone is different.


I’m seeing a little aggression but I think it because he is coming back and he needs routine. Since part of his delusion is related to drugs, it’s really tough. We have to drive him and it is a struggle to keep him busy. I wish he were able to do this on his own but I have to suggest activities and then rearrange my work schedule to make it happen. I try to find things that give him exercise. I make a point to let him see that you can have fun without taking drugs or drinking. He wanted to buy alcohol recently on an outing and I told him “you know, you won’t have the stamina you could have if you drink.” It seemed to work and he didn’t ask again.


I agree with Catherine and hope our son will honor our rules to be able to stay at the house. We’ve had to restrict computer access and on his computer, I asked my IT person to set parental limits. He is looking into this. Do any of you have problems with computer use?


@Mom2 I did in the very beginning because he would get on chat sites and talk delusional and inappropriate things to strangers, but now that he is stable he seems very confused on how to use the computer even though he seemed to know what to do before he got stable…and overall I think it stresses him out so he is fine with not using it at all. I even offered to upgrade his little plain flip phone and he said there was no reason to that his works fine. For my son, simple works better.


Catherine, there is just so much out there on the Internet, I think he might be better off not being on there if he doesn’t have to be. Good night.


I would also like to set limits on computer and internet due to delusions that are fed by internet.

Please let me know what you do about this.


@Hereandhere my son no longer uses the computer and doesn’t seem to have interest in it anyway …he will often ask me to look things up for him and I do. If my son did want to use it I would put restrictions on it and limit the time and if that didn’t work then I would password protect it and set it as off limits for the greater good.


Yes, when my son was visiting he got on computer and ordered incense (actually synthetic marijuana) that is sniffed thru the nose. Also, he connects on Facebook with drug dealers and bad influence friends. I do not like him getting on computer. But how can you keep a 32 yr old man off computer?


Well he broke his own phone so that is gone and I haven’t jumped to replace it for several months now. We have placed passwords on our computers and his own until I can get a firewall that will block eBay and overseas sites. They are unscrupulous and target him now that they have his Email address. I really don’t like it and we had a huge argument over it tonight but I can’t trust him to stay away from those sites. They just start the addictive behavior all up again.


In the hospital, the PD said they were getting kids in that were using the synthetic incense and they didn’t even know what to do to help them. I think she was trying to warn us. Flakka is really bad and is in high schools now. I saw something on YouTube about it and it was causing damage.


My 32 yr old acts like a 5 yr old. If I did what you did, he’d probably pick up computer and smash it. Or he’d nag and pester me. He cannot take the word “no”. Do you have same problem? Sometimes i think he may be mentally retarded, but he can’t be because he is very smart and cunning.


Yes, synthetic marijuana is very bad. Worse than regular marijuana. It turns them into zombies. He is addicted to it. My heart is broken because he no longer will go to clinic to get back on meds.


Well I have had to say Absolutely not so many times it’s ridiculous. But if you give an inch with my son …I remember telling a fried a couple of years ago that one day I had to say NO about a hundred times. We were warned not to let him run the house and we try our best. We have to hide everything. I’ve lost so many things hiding them. My home computer laptop is hidden and I had to add passwords on my work computers. He was pretty mad he couldn’t get bak to business as usual and had a pen in his hand. He raised his hand but caught himself and went away mumbling.
It is sad that the stuff is legal and sold at gas stations.


How do you manage? Do you have help? Can he be left alone? That is so sad to hear he is addicted to that ----.


I was told a firewall “Sonic wall” could keep him away from a lot of sites. Haven’t installed it yet but am looking into it. my son is coming back and wanting to get right back to where he left off. It is also part of his delusion which makes it super tough. It is definitely wearing.


He lives 100 miles from me, in city we’re from. We moved away for husband’s job. He’s lived there for last 12 yrs. He calls me all day desperate for money. He was living alone fine but after getting out of jail a month ago with no meds, he started back on synthetic marijuana. I just started counseling for myself, plus I joined nami, first mtg is soon. Sz is new to me, I really appreciate everyone’s kindness and support. It’s helping me, comparing stories with other parents.