3 years ago my 23 year old son sent me an email from his brothers house (he actually flew across Canada for this visit). The email contained several accusations, mainly that I had posted naked pictures of him on the internet and also sent inappropriate pictures of myself to his high school friends, I WAS SHOCKED AND HORRIFIED. This was the first time I knew that he was “sick”, it was a hard pill to swallow, he returned home and we checked him into a hospital. The hardest part of this journey is knowing that to this day he still believes that I did these things, but he appears to “forgive me”, which does not give me much comfort. This is NOT about me, I will carry this delusional burden although it break my heart that he feels I would ever do him harm. Has any-one else experienced this?
Hello, I know very well how much it hurts for your child to feel that you harmed them or did something inappropriate to them. I have experienced this just in a different form. My son believes I gave him antipsychotics to harm him, place him in a medical induced holding by sedating him with the medications, and the medications that I gave him caused him to become ill and I did this all on purpose to ruin his life. It really hurts. I go along with the delusion and asked him to forgive me to have some type of relationship with him. I pray everyday that these thoughts are removed from his mind. I know it’s difficult. I keep reminding myself of the truth.
Yes, in some form or another, delusions of our loved ones have affected the caregivers’ lives. It is very unfortunate that the severe mental illness often causes those afflicted to verbally turn on their closest family member. You are doing the right thing by NOT arguing with your son’s delusional memories.
Thank-you for the reply, It is heartbreaking, I hope someday they see that we are on their side… Best, Jade
I’ve experienced this with my son. His delusions or voices that he hears are often mine or about me. He used to accuse me of having slept with his best friend. …this went on for a couple of years. Recently he stopped talking to me as he heard me say something on the phone and he’s shut off from me. I have no idea what he heard … he won’t talk about it. It’s been 4 days… a long 4 days. He seems angry and I really don’t know what to do as I’m overseas with my partner. I pray he will come around.
Yes - not the same but my son when in his first and worst psychotic episode he believed that a friend of his was my pimp and that I was prostituting myself around town. he threatened to kill himself if I did not stop and so i called the police - this was his first admission
So I know just how distressing this is for you
He has also stated that he believes his father raped him when a baby and that i gave him oral sex - all of this is of course untrue and he only thinks it when relapsing, becoming psychotic and very unwell.
On admission under section 3 years ago he made these allegations and they were regarded as a safegurding matter. His father and I both work with children so the impact could have been huge.
Mercifully his treatment resistant SZ is now treated with Clozapine that started on that admission and as the med worked the delusion waned and as he has insight he was able to explain he gets these delusions when unwell
On discharge home his Community care Co-ordinator helped him to draw up a section of his Care Plan that states that when unwell he has these delusions, so that it is a matter of record that he has stated this when he has Capacity - he feels terrible about having said these things and we always remind him that he only thinks it when very unwell.
Hopefully the Clozapine will continue to work as it does forever