Wringing my hands :((

Well, since my sons surgery-he has been home, not doing anything he is supposed to be doing in regard to his post-surgery stuff. He is getting very aggressive towards everyone. The physical therapist called to tell me she was a little afraid of him. He yelled at a cashier. He is taking benadryl for some reason. I cant seem to get anyones attention on this and am afraid he is going to yell at the wrong person. He seems to have signs of his illness-but is able to think clearly enough to get me to his place so I can take him to the store to get benadryl, monster drinks-anything with caffeine really. He has a history over the last few years of getting hostile and agressive. My question: are these hostile actions ( verbal and threatning ) signs of a drug withdrawal?? he also seems to be oblivious to any pain his surgery might be having. Im afraid he is about to blow…I just dont know what to do anymore......He is too old for this and I can only think that he is abusing drugs again. What is wrong with this 37 year old son of mine that seems to be intent on self-destruction? He never tells anyone what he is thinking, or anything about his illness-he tells one person a story, and someone else another. He lies. Wont sign releases…This is long-I guess I`m trying to blow off my anxiety while at work…*

you are an amazing caring mother, i only have admiration for you.
but your son has to stand on his own feet, and if he falls , you have to let him fall.
perhaps write him a brief letter, explaining how you feel.
take care
p.s remember to look after yourself.

This is bringing tears to my eyes that you responded this way. I probably need a good cry but I have to stifle them since I`m at work. Something in your reply was very gentle…Thank You :{

I also think you just helped break a dam that I have been trying to bust through for years and felt coming lately…oxox

From personal experience, I know my perceptions are off.it always seems like everybody is taking advantage of me or picking on me. It might just be what I’m putting out there. But it makes me mad. But no one knows why I’m mad. To them, nothing is happening. to ME, it’s life and death.it’s hard being a man with a mental illness. It’s hard to need help.especially in our "pull yourself up by your bootstraps society. Our society that puts a premium on self sufficiency. Women have their own special problems.Men have their own special problems. I put up with men’s crap, i put up with women’s crap. And I always lose. It makes me mad, Just a little of what your son MIGHT be going through.

Yeah-I know he feels this way and has all kinds of other issues, and No one can tell him anything. Seems he will never hit bottom and he has seen more bottoms than anyone most likely. The drug problem can`t seem to be solved. He does something long enough to get through it-and when clear, goes back. There seems to be nothing I can do anymore and he is heading to a bad place with nothing to stop him----and I am praying for him to stop himself…How many times can a person go down and be able to come back up?
Thank you Nick

When I was into drugs I had to hit bottom pretty hard. I never got addicted to anything however I was addicted to the escape of it. Your son is an adult. He’s the one that needs to take responsibility. And if you keep taking care of him, he’ll never truly have that motivation to stop. I’m sorry if I sound harsh. When I’ve quit drugs, lost weight, or even quit smoking I needed to have something in my mind that disgusted me so much about the addiction it would carry me through the cravings. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in your situation, but you have to let go. I know people that used to get high on benadryl. I’m not quite sure what the appeal was but they liked it. Let him make his own choices and suffer the consequences. And take care of yourself. Years of taking care of someone with sz and drug addiction has to take its toll on you. You could always give him a drug test. Good luck! :sunny:

You are not being harsh Sungirl…I already know this,and I know these things. I cant see what the benadryl is doing either---maybe it relaxes him in some way. Its hard to watch…
Thank you so much O

Bridgecomet, the nurses gave me benadryl in the psyche ward to calm me down. In fact when I was in restraints, they gave me benadryl and they told me they wouldn’t let me out until the benadryl calmed me down.

Your son sounds like my son recently. I have been talking to his nurse and she is telling me that it is behavioral and not psychosis related… I sometimes question her ability to properly judge the situation since my son’s mood is usually in direct relation to his stability. My son loves his energy drinks and coffee and cigarettes. The use of these tend to go up when he’s not doing well.

For my son these types of behaviors are a result of withdrawal/anxiety which usually comes with missed meds from using/drinking and therefore some instability. The Adderall, then the trip to see my daughter where he got into his grandmother’s perks, plus missed meds and alcohol. It’s been a week and although recovering he is still not as he should be.

Was your son given pain medications in the hospital for his surgery? Whether it’s prescription or street drugs the impact on addiction doesn’t seem to be any different. I sometimes think that the emotional pain that addiction triggers can overshadow physical pain.

I don’t know a lot about Benadryl except that my son was given it inpatient when being weaned of one of the drugs he was put one. It can be addicting.

The human body and spirit is pretty resilient. I wonder how often my son will need to make the wrong choices before he starts making the right ones but in the end I know that I can’t stop him forever and of course once he makes the wrong choice then all of his insight goes flying out the window yet again.

bug hugs

I’m sorry your son is going back to old behaviors so soon. I was hoping that being slowed down by the hip, and getting hit by a car in the first place would be a wake up call. But I have to admit, even for me, that might not have been it.

I know you love him, and you want to save him from more pain, heart ache, and danger. But there is only so much you can do. My parents never did the “tough love” thing, but there came a time when they did say, “we love you, but we really have nothing more we can do. the door is always open but we have to take care of our other kids too.”

As far as how many times can he come back up? I think that with your love, and help, he’ll make it up eventually. I really wish I could say some thing that had all the answers.

**Thank you guys for responding>>>>
Heard nothing from his dad yesterday ( big surprise ) or C.
The physical therapy called the case manager, so today, he had a team there. Have not heard from him myself.77nick77…I think you are right about the benadryl.
Barbie…my son is exactly the same with the cigs, coffee, energy drinks. Hard to believe how badly these effect him-but he knows and does it anyway. I am thinking that when he starts getting very agressive, Hes coming off something. Sorry you are having the same kind of week! C. was given percoset but hasnt been abusing them. Than you for the bug hugs!!
J…I love that kid! I have done the tough love before-long ago…Didnt work for this guy. There must be something in him that has allowed him to come so far. Thank you. There are no easy answers, but I think Sith hit it--I felt it when I read the words he wrote.....Truth. Who says this site doesnt help? Second time all of you were there when a hard thing came up.
I love you…