Hey hope4us,
She still doesn’t recognise that she needs help. It would be like taking to a brick wall then said brick wall punching me in the face at any suggestion. I’m beginning to realise that my life will be just a long drawn out process of random incidents of hell when she has an episode and that I’ll just have to learn how to deal with it. I haven’t read a proper book on how to deal with schizophrenia but I’ll have to start now.
I used to have the hope that one day she’d be cured, but she’s like Leonardo di Caprio in Shutter Island and will never be cured or ever help herself to stop being a burden on other people. She just shops and buys things, then gives them to charity shops, then buys more stuff and the cycle goes on and on.
It could be worse I suppose. At least I’m not in Yeman starving or homeless or anything like that. I have to learn to be grateful for the things I have and not complain so much about what I don’t have. This is my lot in life and I will accept it. I used to think that hope was a good thing - now I realise that it can be a very dangerous thing. Acceptance and learning to appreciate the little things is what will get me through, and her also.
Thank God for example for this forum.
Peace to all xxx
I read this today “It is your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.” - Tony Robbins Being grateful for the good things in our lives is an important tool to live a better life.
Yes, there IS hope for a better future but it depends on what we do about it. Serious mental illnesses like SZ and BP are normally a lifelong illness, although how it presents can change over time.
A book I recommend to better understand is “Surviving Schizophrenia; a Family Manual” by the renowned doctor and advocate for the seriously mentally ill, E. Fuller Torrey. It is a classic wealth of information. Then, for YOU, is to read “I Am Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help” by Dr. Xavier Amador. Once you read it, you have to practice the LEAP strategy. I have strong belief it has great potential to help you get to a much better place with your loved one in this journey. Then find a support like a NAMI Family Support Group (many are via Zoom right now so you could participate with one ANYwhere.) What do you (or any of us) have to lose?
if you have no support and no help from the right Drs… EVERY caregiver feels this way when they love someone who they cant help . FIGHT FOR HELP !!
It is hard. Death is over in 3 days…this is a yo-yo emotion track…we cannot lose hope. I am trying hard to tell myself this is real. It will progress, however we cannot lose hope because there are people who have the sky and through medical help live a good life.
Yes, yes, yes. There have been many times when I wished I could go to sleep and never wake up. I see from the post below that you are now taking medication. GOOD! I hope it is helping you. Depression is an illness just like SZA and probably more often fatal than SZA. I fight it every single day, even with the meds. Some other things things that help me are yoga and exercise.
From what I am reading here, it seems that a great many people with SZA also have a cluster of other mental health disorders like narcissism, borderline, OCD, drug and alcohol abuse. So it makes since that you view your sister as evil. It is very hard to be sympathetic with mental illness. I’ve often said the key to dealing with someone who is crazy is not to become crazy yourself.
But why are you her care giver? Where are her parents? Are you an adult, or is she? I always advocate getting away from a SZA at the first opportunity if you possibly can.
I have not- I feel that I may not be able to save him and I have to be ok with that…
She’s my sister. She became schizophrenic due to sexual abuse from my father. I suffer with depression. My mother still doesn’t believe us.
I’m her only sane adult, plus my other sister.
Family is a mess but we’re getting through it as long as you don’t talk to my parents about the abuse because they’re both demented and I fear there’d be a murder or a suicide if I brought it up again. That’s why I’m her caregiver.
You DO have to take care of yourself. It is possible that we cannot solve the problem. There are many posts on this site that offer suggestions on how to help a person who is sick with this illness as well as to help ourselves. There IS hope, but it should not be at the cost of your own life. Yes, life comes with difficulties, but no one is suggesting you sacrifice your life. Figure out how to change the things you can. Do the homework, put what you learn into practice, but take care of yourself. As some have mentioned, their loved one often does not remember their times of psychosis. If it was ME that had this illness, would I want my family to give up on me?