Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Boyfriend of 10 yrs ignoring me again

Jay and I have been together off and on for 10 years. I am a recovering alcoholic (1 year sober). He has a history of drug abuse (crack, meth and heroin). Lately he has been doing pain pills. I kicked him out because he came home high…again. now he wont talk to me. He sees a Dr and is on Abilify. But he also abuses street drugs. Since I have been sober I see how mean he can be. He was a big teddy bear for so long. But lately he is angry and sleeps ALL THE TIME. I have depression/anxiety and am a nervous wreck. I left him a vm last night that this situation was making me want to drink. No response. His father has conservatorship over him. Due to one time we went to Florida for vacation and he decided to go off his meds. He flipped out and went nuts on me. I locked myself in the bathroom while he drank beer and yelled at me all night. I talked him into taking 2 xanax the next morning and he passed out. I left him in Florida. Where he stayed roaming aimlessly for days. His father finally got him home and he was put in the state hospital for a month. This is not my first rodeo with him. But I’m wondering if it should be the last.

This is the first time I have ever begged him back. Usually when he has an episode we break up and I block him for months. This time I’m trying to reason with him and he’s the one ignoring me.

I have found that when he stabilizes from these situations he makes jokes about it after the fact. When I am the one traumatized by it. Its definitely not funny for me.

It should definitely be your last time with him. You have your own issues to solve. You should not have to add to your problems with someone who is not stable. You deserve better than that. Focus on yourself and getting you better.


@susan031367 Congrats on your 1 year sober. It seems like you are on a path to get healthy and your bf is not. Your bf needs to go to rehab and get stable. Please stay strong and continue on your path to recovery. If you feel tempted to drink please call your sponsor to get the help and support you need. Wishing you peace.

I agree that your sobriety needs to come first. If you are stressed and struggling to cope, how can you be of assistance to others.

Congratulations on a year of sobriety. That is a significant accomplishment!

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