Fear of Losing Dad

Family
21

My friend;'s husband just shot himself in the head and died. I was dreading the memorial service…I mean how can anything good be said and how to bed console the family. I have a poem I like a lot and I read it to my friend several hours after she found his body (we talked for a long time on the phone) She asked me to read it at the funeral. I made her a nice copy of the poem with a photo of the sunset behind it and framed it…and I gave it to her after I read it .

Anyway, my whole point is : the service was BEAUTIFUL…It was handled with compassion and respect. There was no mention of whether or not the man went to heaven…just that people sometimes have issues they cannot handle and pain that is insurmountable.

I know that service comforted my friend and her children. I do believe that funerals have an important role in coming to terms with your loss and it helps to celebrate the person’s life and to say good bye to them.

22

I also believe that funerals can play a role in our society, but not for me personally. For one thing going to one of my parents funeral would probably destabilize me for sure. I know myself - my strengths and weaknesses.
I am also not a religious person, I personally would not benefit from church - god - icons - symbols etc… These are also triggers for me. I would benefit from the support of my other family members, but not in a funeral type setting.
But I am not against funerals as a whole, I just don’t think it would be positive or healthy for me to attend.

23

All of the time! I definitely relate. My dad has SZ and is 65yrs old. I’m 21 yrs. I’ve been thinking about his death since 12 yrs because that’s when I realized really how old and how sick he was when I was born.