I’m still trying to get the facts on what is really happening/being said however I’m thinking that it may be time to look into some sort of guardianship. I will try to sum things up if I can. 15 months ago my son moved back with me after living with his Nana as he had his first psychotic break while with her in April-May 2011. Was with her for 2 years. During this time he developed a chronic/daily marijuana habit as she didn’t feel comfortable with the no tolerance approach. She has zero sense of smell so he used to smoke weed in the home all the time, to the point of her getting an eviction notice. Offers for addiction treatment facilities were being turned down by both of them. Finances got worse and worse due to my son’s spending until I was helping to support them. Some interaction between my son and his treatment team wasn’t happening as she didn’t want people in her home in the condition that it was in. Eventually things got to the point where they were both in such bad shape that she was suicidal. I got a phone call to take him now, which I did, and she was told to voluntarily check herself into the hospital or someone would do it for her. This was May 2013. December 2013 she suffered 3 heart attacks. Throughout this past 15 months that my son has been with me whenever things are hard here he calls her and ‘vents’. I am being controlling, treating him like a child, yelling at him for no reason, kicking him out onto the streets, forcing pills down his throat and just overall treating him so bad that during our trip out there last month he spoke to her apparently in detail about killing me and she thinks that that is ok and that everything he is telling her is the truth when it’s not. She is seriously hating me right now. Part of the difficulty in this situation is that my son is aware that he is lying to her yet feels justified in doing so as he wants her on his side. When I asked him yesterday if he gets anything out of making his Nana hate me he said yes.
On a side note my daughter is now being caught in the cross fire and as of last night her Nana has turned her back on her due to an argument they had by giving my daughter back gifts and taking down photo’s of her. Nana is willing to turn her back on her other grandchildren in favor of my son. She has stated that it’s her choice to let her grandson kill her (stress of taking care of him etc) and called my daughter a lying back-stabber accusing her of telling me something that she did not tell me. I guess my son’s father said that my son could move back in 6 months if he saved up ALL of his money, knowing full well that this will not happen which is why he said it. I need to get the details on this.
So here we are in a complete mess and I don’t know what I should be doing. Last night I actually took away my son’s phone and internet privileges as I’m beyond tired of him using my resources to lie and manipulate. It’s being said that he pays for these services so I can’t take them away. No he doesn’t. He gives me $500 of his disability payment when as far as I know I should be getting over $700 of it since I provide him with all necessities. Phone, cable and internet are not considered to be necessities or covered under the basic needs that he is receiving money for. He costs my husband and I a lot more then $500 a month.
Anyways I’m getting off topic. I have his doctor reports from when he was living with his Nana where it states that she was unwilling at times to send him for addiction treatment or even take the steps necessary to limit his drug use. As of last month he is still abusing her prescription perks which he himself admitted to his current treatment team. I don’t know if I have a leg to stand on or not however I feel that his relationship with his Nana is at this point only toxic to him and even to her. Taking care of him will I’m sure kill her as her physical and mental health is tenuous at best. To my knowledge she is still on occasion suicidal.
I’m trying to look at all this rationally… I’m staying calm and not letting my emotions interfere with how I’m acting/reacting. I’m guessing at this point that I may have to try and find a lawyer on Monday. I’m at war with myself. While I know that my son is old enough to decide his future can I let him move forward with something that will probably end the lives of two people and based on what the situation was 15 months ago, no I’m not overreacting.
How hard is it to get custody/guardianship of an adult under mental health laws?