Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

How do YOU cope with their rants

#1

Sometimes I have it sorted and keep myself distracted and calmly ask him to do something for me or change the subject to something light hearted.
However I’m human and just wondered when or OF they go on and on and on about , he’s cursed, his religion, Drs had it arranged for him, they are,t doctors, he’s in agony with them all hassling him (of course they aren’t )
It’s because he’s on a community treatment order,

I know he is doing something different with his meds but he keeps saying he’s not telling me as he’s an adult and doesn’t have to.

How do you ignore it when you are tired, have a headache or have other stresses please?

#2

I sometimes don’t cope very well with outbursts. My daughter and I had one today. It is heartbreaking. I have set up my home so that she has her own entrance and exit and her own fridge, so we can be separate when we need to be.

I have earplugs, a noise machine, fans for noise, take vitamins for stress, and go out by myself sometimes to get some space, or a nice meal, or a drink. The truth is that she IS an adult and I can’t force her to do anything… so I withdraw to get some me time.

#3

I keep telling my husband that we need to lock up the medications and anything he doesn’t need access to and get out for awhile, go to dinner, go shopping or just walk on the beach. He refuses because our son is so irresponsible that he would leave the house to go walking and leave it wide open for anyone to come inside and rob us. We are literally dying inside from being trapped from the outside world and never having any alone time. We need respite but we don’t have any family that would come by to watch out for him and I don’t know how he would react to a stranger coming in to sit with him. We need a break before we lose our minds ourselves but there seems to be no answer.

#4

I know you might think we are weird, but we leave my daughter alone, and we don’t care if the house is locked up or not. Usually we are both only gone for a few hours, and we just have to trust that no one will come in our home. Sometimes, however, both of us are gone working for the entire day. We live in a busy metro area, and in the past three years have just stopped worrying about leaving her alone and/or the house open. Of course the neighborhood refers to our home as “the police house” since the flashing red and blue lights have decorated our driveway LOTS of times, so maybe no one would ever dare come to “the police house” to rob it.

#5

We also had one most of last night,
My son actually said to me, did he have 6 dads? Did I have to work out which one was his dad ? Go figure !

He also asked what was the REAL reason I moved her (to England from Scotland ) as in a motive ,
The best one was he said in photos of me when I younger I looked happy and now I looked (in his words) mangled at times. I wonder why !

He can be really vicious with words .
I dreamed last night (several dreams a night due to sertraline)
In the dream he cried and hugged me and told me he realised he was ill. My one wish for 2019,

#6

I understand. I hope you get your wish.

Maybe he really does see 6 dads… it would be a problem to try and work out which one was real, for sure.

I’m surprised I don’t look mangled myself.

#7

I also had dreams about my sister recently coming out of her room, looking at me being shocked with insight as if she woke up from a nightmare and we hugged and cried together and I woke up crying…

#8

I think I do look mangled, I often feel mangled in this business.

Once during a rant my son told me I was quite ugly. I preferred that to the nasty name calling. My friend told me we can never be sure what they are actually seeing.

#9

Lol true, I asked him today when he got up at 2pm what he meant by mangled , he said , tired, drained , stressed, the boy is accurate .

#10

As you say Hope we do wonder what they actually see.
Again said last night his gran (my mum) also put something in his food as after he ate her food he felt all confused and his head was full.

#11

Must be in the air, I had a negative interaction with my son last night. I went to his house to fix up some dinner - leftovers - and he wanted to get something out. Clearly he was “in a mood”, and unfortunately I took the bait. He asked why I didn’t have time, I said, I am finishing up making Christmas presents, he said, you know you can buy presents…

Eventually got to, I have to get these things done before (my husband’s) family get-together on Saturday, and I wondered if he would want to come, at which point he got insulting.

Sigh.

#12

Sorry, wonder if some of our relatives are overly anxious, stressed etc with this time of year.

#13

I’m glad his wasn’t an hallucination.

Ha! I really do feel mangled :wink:

When I attended NAMI support group - our December meeting always had a packed room. We spent most of the meeting getting more chairs.

#14

@Jane57, I’m actually pretty happy we have got this far into December with so few disagreements. My son’s birthday is also this month(just past) and he sets all kinds of expectations that tend to be unrealistic about what he thinks he should receive as gifts, and between that and Christmas, and the short daylight hours, typically makes the month difficult. His continued compliance on Clozapine has really resulted in much easier times.

#15

My son was ranting last night because I wouldn’t give him his cigarettes until he took his medicine and he did NOT want to take the medicine. He kept saying “please tell me the truth about what is going on” and “Why is this not over yet” He won’t explain what he is talking about but repeatedly asks the questions and I am evil because I can’t answer them. I really wish I knew what was going on in his mind and I wish he had some insight and would let me help him. I hope we all get that wish for 2019.

#16

I don’t think you are weird at all, I hope we get to the point where we can leave him alone. My husband is just not there yet. I keep suggesting that we just leave for short periods of time but he refuses. He thinks I am crazy for even suggesting it. Meanwhile we are trapped in this misery with no outlet to refresh ourselves. My husband is hit especially hard because he is retired and stays home with our son and I work 3 days a week. He never gets a break. My son has me as his target when he gets angry so my husband is worried about leaving us home together as he has threatened to smash my skull in with his phone among other threats. He has never done anything to harm me and I am not worried but my husband just can’t let go and he is suffering greatly from the stress of it all.

#17

:cry: I wish that for our loved ones too

#18

Pleased about this Vallpen, hope this continues for you, my son birthday is 28 Dec .

#19

Hope things get better for you Brokenheart , my son always says this stuff too, “why did this happen” “when will I get what’s mine”

He also thinks there is a pot of gold ie a house, job , money, family for him for going through this in his words.

#20

I am reading a lot to try to get a better understanding of this but it is so hard. His hostility is what really gets to me. He has to yell everything and blames us for it all. He said he hates me for giving birth to him and drags up every minute detail of the past to twist it into some horrible reason why his life is like this now. He says that I spent too much time with him as a child to make him dependent on me so that he would struggle socially when he grew up. That is so twisted because I took him to play groups and anywhere that he could meet other kids and spend time. He had a good childhood and was a happy kid and he puts a damper on my good memories by saying all this ugliness about his childhood like it was horrible. I know it is just the illness talking but it is soooo hard to hear.