My daughter gets so hateful and the words come pouring out, so mean. How do you not get involved in the conversation that really goes no where. She tells me I am lazy and useless and a piece of s…t. She goes on and on and the she will start talking in a southern drawl and being nuts. Sorry, I have never wanted to punch or harm my daughter but she getting under my skin and on my last nerve. I can’t walk away she will fallow, I tried locking door she broke it down.
I sometimes do not want to go home from work. This has started up in the last 2 weeks she is having less and less lucid times. Would this be called a psychotic break. When she is lucid she says she has no idea what I am talking about.
She is like 3 different people. She keeps telling me I am crazy and she is going to have me put it the hospital. I keep saying go ahead I need the break.
Just wanted to know what is the best way to control this type of situation or is just ignoring it the best. Talking does not work if I get really upset and start crying she laughs. I just feel lost and hurt and angry and I don’t know how to deal with this. Please give any ideas. or thoughts.
Heres an article that goes over how to react in a situation like this .
I am so sorry you are dealing with this ,
Not reacting or reacting compassionately when some one is in your face and space is not easy !!!
Its not a natural instinct !!for me reading and re -reading the steps of how to react helps keep it in my mind .
Also have a safety plan for yourself whatever that looks like for you.
can you stay at work longer or be somewhere else for your sanity ?
Not saying never to come home but could you take a little more time away if possible even if its 30mins just for a little peace of mind.
Im sorry about the horrible things being said when I’ve faced this I keep telling myself to separate the person from the illness I have to say it over and over sometimes .
Always try to stay near an exit if things are escalating.
Another thing I do sometimes is find a great image like a beautiful beach or something like that I look at the image and pretend that’s where Im at like Im sitting on my towel feeling the sun drinking a refreshing cool drink .
When things are so chaotic and crazy this helps me calm my own mind .
You may not be able to use this in the middle of an episode of course but maybe after.
https://www.google.com/search?q=grey+rock+method&oq=grey+rock&aqs=chrome.2.0i433i512j69i57j0i433i512j46i175i199i512l2j46i512j46i175i199i512l2j0i512l2j46i175i199i512j0i512l4.5907j0j7&client=ms-android-att-aio-us&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8
I don’t know if this would be helpful or not in your situation .
I have a partner with BPD and use this sometimes
Thank you, I will look into these and knowing someone understands also helps a lot. megmeg
Sometimes I feel like a monster because all I want her to do is to shut up. And to be normal again. I sounds horrible talking about your child that way but.
When I am at work and I run into a cranky person which I really try not to be I just want to go off on them. I beginning to think my anger, holding it in so much and ignoring and pushing it down. Is just building up to much., sitting in my car and having a good cry help sometimes to deal with things.
Thank you again
I think its a natural reaction to want someone even our own child to stop when they are accosting us with words.
I know I have heard the same thing from my own parent in regards to when my sibling does this .
I think many here can relate to this feeling
Caretakers are human to .
I can definitely relate to anger , frustration building on the inside , I have counseling and attend Nami family support and your right a good cry in the car helps.
I think we need to give ourselves grace 
Is she in therapy? She could benefit from emotional management/ coping skills. Even with SZ you can still learn skills that help. And she is being abusive towards you. i know SZ can make people on edge ( i have dealt with being apart of delusions and the reactions that come with that, but sounds like shes also trying to harass you by needing to push things and coming in through locked doors. It’s worth trying to get her some help with her end if possible while you are also doing what you can. So sorry youre dealing with that.
My loved one was like this before she began taking a mood stabilizer. It did take a while to fully work about 4 weeks. During that time she slept ALOT!
I saw significant improvement in the first week and I do mean significant. She has to take it twice a day.
This was challenging to figure out. I mentioned to her doctor she was sleeping a lot. Her doctor said no problem she can just take a larger dose at night. Nope. She has to take the smaller dose twice a day or it just doesn’t work. She has been great with taking it.
I bought her several of these little circle shaped weekly pill dispensers from dollar tree. They have each day of the week on them. I fill them up. This made it very easy for her.
I find that ignoring is the best. However, easier said than done. Whenever my daughter and wife gets into an argument or about to, I need to step in to stop it. Whenever my daughter brought up “negative memories” of what my wife did to her, I will remind her of all the good things she has done that is indisputable. It helped bring the situation under control. I am thinking asking someone close to you to lend a hand, perhaps.
Thank you all, I have been doing better with dealing with my anger and just ignoring because there is no sense in arguing or getting mad, just makes me feel ill and it makes her worse. She was really bad last night still going at it at 4 in the morning and I have to get up at 6 for work. I felt so bad, leaving her like that I was able to talk to her while I was bathing and I got her calmed down some. I don’t have anyone that will help with her. People in my family are all deceased and I don’t have any close friends. A few work friends I can talk to and all of you. I have tried talking to her about taking meds, she has previously been on medication and tried about 8 or more different types and was on invega shot for 2 years. The shot had really bad side effects for her. I liked her better on the shot but she had really bad inflammation and could barely walk and breath. Only way for her to me on meds again I am afraid will be to be forced like before. If only the doctors would listen and communicate better they maybe could have found something that really worked. All they cared about was keeping her quite and manageable. Medical lobotomy. She couldn’t read or even sit to watch a movie she was not able to concentrate that long she would just space out to no where. And she said she could no long feel anything.
My family is having a memorial service for our mom and the next day we will be dividing up her possessions. My brother who has been diagnosed schizoaffective (refuses meds, self medicates with alcohol) is starting to struggle already at the idea of being in a room with all of his siblings.
His wife has warned us that she is seeing the signs of an episode approaching. His mania is like my dad’s was, it presents as rage with acts of violence, threats, ugly accusations. His last episode landed him in the hospital for 6 weeks.
Must be nice for families that can hold such events without a human “time bomb”.
Oh boy, good luck! Good thing you are getting prepared for your brother’s possible meltdown. Always something going on when we have mental illness in the family.
Yes, it becomes our theme doesn’t it? Always something…
Sorry your girl is still having an agitated time,
And for what that brings for you the caregiver it’s really hard when you don’t have help !I had a couple of thoughts after reading this
One is do you have a local Nami chapter that you attend ?if you do not you can just Google Nami in your state and you should be able to see all the different meetings they have,
Nami has been such a support over the years for me.
The second thing is something called respite care and I know I found it just by looking it up in my state but basically it would be like a caregiver coming in to relieve you for a few hours I don’t know if that’s something that would work for you or not just a thought.
Something similar was happening to me with my sz boyfriend.
It’s long to explain but he’s a nice person in general, I always found him nice and sweet whe he’s well. Now he’s kinda back like that but he’s taking meds.
While he was not he was like two different persons especially at night.
At night it was like having a total stranger sleeping in my bedroom. He was telling we insults or that I was poisoning him or that he would have found my accomplice…while I was just sleeping ( of course I woke up hearing someone talking and telling me stuff). During the day he said he could not remember or that he’s crazy.
Anyway also during the day I have to say I didn’t receive a good treatment sometimes but it was different…a bit more “understandable” than the one at night.
I’m still here wondering what of all of that was true or the illness or whatever.
Now that he got back meds and pension for sz he is better on this side a bit even though he still tells me sometimes that he hopes I’m not poisoning him.
I think you should not take the insults personally too much. But I cannot say to which extent they are coming from real thoughts or just from the disease.
Hello and thank you for all your comments and support it helps a lot. She is doing a little better this week. No meds or anything but just better. I had an episode allergic reaction to something not yet known, and had to go to the ER she was actually very supportive. I was so glad for this I could not have handled both. I am trying to get FMLA through work, so I can miss time when she needs me to be there for her. So I don’t get fired for missing time. I really don’t want to deal with her doctors on this they don’t seem to act like they understand what SZ is even. And some days you know you just have to be there.
Hi, I am struggling myself with my husband, we have been married for 21 years and we were inseparable he literally idolised the ground I walked on until 8 months ago he get ill from heavy marijuana use. I didn’t see the signs at first I just thought he was being silly, saying he was seeing doors opening and hearing people calling him, then it was me being accused af poisoning him saying I’m a horrible person and make nothing but problems, he then posted a picture of a woman we know slightly from her holidays to where we live, we didn’t know her well but we kind of knew her. Well he posted a picture of her on his instagram and of course I was extremely hurt by this bare in mind 3 days before this he came into my bed kissed me on my head said I love you babe I never want to lose you! So you can imagine how posting this woman made me feel, he had he on and off nasty to me for the last 6 weeks before this and I couldn’t understand why as I wasn’t doing anything wrong in fact it came to the point I was afraid to say anything at all incase he would be horrible to me… we were going away on holiday a week later but I had to go alone with our children because of what happened it wasn’t just the picture of the woman it was listening to religious videos even though he wasn’t religious and then looking at me with evil hate while I’m cooking dinner! Then starting to dance to music in a really strange way falling into his knees and holding his hands up to the heavens. This was very much out of character for him! He told me he hated me and he loved this dead woman etc… I was heart broken went away stayed at my mothers for 2 months back and forth the dr with extreme anxiety and stress I couldn’t stop shaking because I was so upset that I lost my husband who was so loving before this. He told everyone he was lucifer he was the chosen one and I was trying to poison him, he said I cheated on him and that I was so horrible you would shoot yourself in the head if you had to live with me. I am back now I thought things were better but if I say anything like cry and ask what I had done for any of these things to happen because I was hurt he gets angry and says I just love arguing I would say I’m not arguing I’m upset I just want to understand. Later I said are you not talking to me his response was wtf would I speak to you I’m thinking of ways to kill myself cause that’s the only way I can get rid of you! This broke my heart I cried and cried and didn’t know what to do I said I’m sorry that I make you feel that way but he just ignored me and told me to sit down repeatedly when I was going to leave… so I sat down because I felt intimidated to! He just sat and didn’t show any care that I was upset. He says so many hurtful things to me that they keep running through my head and I can’t understand how this person who loved me so much now hates me and feels this way about me! I try to tell myself it’s not real but it feels too real and I believe him because he seems so genuine like he means it so of course I cry because I miss my husband! He won’t touch me intimately, I asked why won’t he touch me he said I don’t want to I don’t feel like it it makes me feel sick!! Again more hurtful things for my brain to keep running over… I’m so sorry for anyone who has to go through this. I know how I feel and it’s horrible I feel so lost even in my own home that I don’t know what to do with myself! I keep walking up and down the stairs taking my shoes on and off going outside coming back in I just get so lost that I don’t know what I’m doing.
This is horrible, I am legitimately scared for you. I think you should go back to your parents if possible. Does you husband have other family that is seeing this in him also. Do not take this as their is something wrong with you or you have done anything wrong. He is in the state of mind that when he see’s you and talks to you, you are not the same person anymore. Maybe he has moments of clarity but telling you he is thinking of ways to end you, you need to someway record this but don’t put yourself at risk.
You need to get help. Maybe if there is a NAMI in your area. Or even call the local hospital, and they could tell you whom to contact. I am sorry you are going through this pleas take care of yourself and your children.
No sorry I think you miss read he said he was thinking of ways to end his own life cause that way is the only way to get rid of me. Very upsetting and hurtful.