Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia


Oh I know. My son does not have even one friend. Not even one. Heartbreaking beyond belief.


Sometimes I wonder how I would feel afterwards on those days -if I actually let those screams out.


When Jeb is having a bad day, I try to remember this one


I just jumped on this thread. I would love to have a review of all your kids ages.
My son just turned 22. Middle child. No doctor yet. Just moved in with me.
Symptoms of SZ anger, depression, anxiety
Well this weekend I went away to have me time with his step dad.
Had a wonderful time. But came home to find that my son was cutting his wrists. and arm. He showed me. So he also said it is time for himself help. We ended up at the hospital. No mental health docs in my city in my area. So they did teleconference with pyc. I couldn’t be in the room because my son is an adult. He came out of there, with a prescrip. I think this is one good step
At least my son finally told me he has issues.
I feel like a failure and I do blame myself. I would like to scream too. Just like some of you.
I will read more of this tread later. I am sneaking on at work. :slight_smile:Take care everyone!!!


How awful for you to return to find him cutting his wrists - I am sorry.

What kinds of issues does he think he has?


Hi Hope. My son has depression,anxiety, delutions and anger and alcoholism. He finally said he was sick and needed help. Who in your life is ill?


HI joojoo. my son has no friends either. It is sad to see you are right


Don’t blame yourself please. I am learning that I cant either. It is what it is and we have to deal with the present


No real friends, no one to check on him. I had a friend and daughter come over for my son’s birthday, two cousins, and aunts. He had a smile and that day was wonderful. Now today, he is alone in his room barely communicating. The cycles of this illness are so sad.


Hi Threema,

My 35 year old son has schizophrenia. He is extremely paranoid and has the sort of schizophrenia that is insidious - his scz progresses very slowly. So glad that your son realizes he is ill. My son suffers from the symptom anosognosia - he believes everything he thinks, hears and sees is real. He hears voices calling him names and tells himself that whatever person is closest is actually calling him names.


It is a challenge that is for sure. You are definitely not alone. I am 55 and I spoke with a doctor who suggested some supplements for me (for depression and menopause) and they are helping. They are Black Cohash and Folic Acid. I also take a Rescue Remedy which you can find at Whole Foods and King Soopers.


My son self injured as well. It is hard not to have a strong reaction - it is so painful to see your child hurting themselves like that and in so much pain. He has not done this in years, but I did eventually learn to calmly (on the outside) discuss this with him. It is a coping mechanism. You and his medical team can find other ways to help him cope. It can be pain relief to them, a punishment to themselves, to end feelings of unreality or detachment and to show control over their bodies. I am so thankful that he was ready to seek medical attention. Keep networking - keep trying to find the most experienced in your area or a distance away that you can drive. The goal of the meds is for them to feel good - other than taking their pills, nothing negatively affecting their days. When you find the right combo, generally they will be compliant with meds. Take care, you and your family remain in my prayers.


Hi Lioness Yes I know all about the coping. He realizes that as well. I am glad your son doesnt do that any more!. My son has been bouncing from day to day after the hospital visit. He isnt taking the meds the doc prescribed and he has no doctor yet. Last night he was saying they have taken over everything, as you know all about that. He decided his only option was to leave and live on the street. Had my husband in tears. I told my husband tomorrow might be different. Sure enough, he didnt leave and he phoned the social worker that the hospital gave him just in case. She is coming tomorrow he said. So again one day at a time like we all say.


Yes, we certainly know one thing - the only constant is change. Day to day and moment to moment. We were fortunate to have people that would come to the house - a social worker and counselor. That helped him tremendously but it also helped us as a family to juggle appointments. We have had lengthy - hours and hours - and in depth conversations about my son’s voices. During a very psychotic stage he even wore a ring and considered himself married to one. They became his best friends and his worst tormentors. He does concede that the medication affects them - he understands this - he gets the correlation, but at the same time, to him, they seem so real and not of him or of his brain at all. I can’t relate to this but I continue to tell him they are only as bad or as good as how they affect his ability to have independence and the life he wants. He finally told them until his family can meet them, they can’t be a part of his life. I don’t get into dialogue about how “real or not real” they are. It doesn’t matter to me anymore. What matters is how they affect his day to day function and would he put up with a corporeal being treating him that way. If a voice makes fun of or bullies him, then they should not be a part of his life, just as he would not accept this from a flesh and blood friend. I pray for him frequently. I focus on him and send him love and energy. He knows I do this and I do believe it helps. He is “on the fence” about religion, but does appreciate my prayers and good energy. I tell him that IF they are a part of creation they would love and want what is best for him. If they are not a part of creation but a difference in the way that his language center perceives language (this is what I believe) then he can understand that, take his medication and realize this is how his brain works. In the meantime - for your son at the start of his journey - there comes acceptance, love of self, acceptance of the medication, and I believe with age, the calming of the positive symptoms. I believe in miracles - anything can happen - many people spontaneously recover. Just keep loving him and uplifting him My best to you and your family.


Thank you for your reply. Sounds to me like you are very wise and you have a good handle on things not only for him but for yourself.


I can’t tell you how much hope you just gave me by sharing this.


So true. And this grief and anguish over our adult children is so brutal! So brutal.


I have a one of those big plastic storage containers full of “before” pictures from the old days when you had to have photos developed. I can’t even look at them. They need to be organized, I just shut the lid and shudder.


I have such a sadness over his papers. He was and is so smart. His vocabulary and ideas were incredible and he has such a creative intellect. I held onto his papers and I just can’t throw them out. I just put the lid on them again last month. I haven’t visited our picture drawer for over a year. It would be way too sad.


I always get very teary-eyed looking at photos of him as the cutest little boy. I have a lot of VHS tapes that I could either have converted to DVD or buy a VHS player. Either way, I DO want to watch them, but it will be hard. It’s something I think about a lot, watching those videos.