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How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia


#281

Yes you should take them and have them digitized. The new computers don’t have a DVD player so put them on a flash drive. I should do the same.


#282

Yes, i have all mine loaded up on my big TV laptop, i sit for hours just watching them on the screen saver…


#283

They represent many sweet memories. My husband and I are so grateful to have been able to travel when we were younger. Our son has been to Europe and all over the US and Canada with us. It’s always been us three.


#284

Thank you! I always find someone’s inspiring words on this thread I started, and just when I need it!


#285

My son actually likes to look at his photos from growing up. I am hopeful it may help him find interest in his old interests.


#286

Use the drops in his coffee or juice when he doesnt accept nedication. Just offer him a glass of juice. There arent much solutions. And you have to check if he is smoking marijuana.


#287

My son too has no friends. And my family members don’t want him to visit because of his drug issues. If he had family support this would help I think. This hurts me. Also his father is not in his life.


#288

We live in MA. Have not had any luck with psychopharm unless son is willing to do therapy at a clinic with a psychopharmacist. In MA there are area clinics run by Lahey that offer both. My son not willing to even go to therapy. I go to NAMI regularly. At meetings you can sometimes meet others that know of good facilities and drs.
We are managing symptoms through diet and supplements suggested by this site and by those on this site. I am constantly looking up supplements to help with dopamine, gaba, calm. Mass Mental Health in Boston has a PREP program (617-652-9036) that sounds like a useful program if your son is under 30. He may not be able to handle it at this time, but it is worth a call. Apparently they have drs available to see clients there. It is a day program, 2 days a week. Clients don’t have to be on medication to go.


#289

Hi HOpe. Your son sounds a bit like mine. He hasn’t officially been diagnoised yet. But my mom was paranoid sz so I see all the signs. I am assuming your son lives on his own or with you? My son has depression/anxiety maybe bipolar, and alcoholism as well now.


#290

We were so clueless, we had no idea what was going on in the early years. We missed the chance to get our son medicated when it might have been easier. We brought our son home to live when he had a bad psychotic episode at his job in 2013. That was the last day he worked. Was yours mom’s scz the kind that progresses slowly also? Since Jeb is unmedicated having him here inside our house was difficult. HIs paranoia is focused on his dad, that really scares his dad. I managed to convince my husband to let me build an apartment on top of our unattached garage. Jeb lives in the apartment, its about 15 yards from our house.

Once he got out of the prodromal stage Jeb hasn’t had big issues with depression, during the prodromal he really struggled with what looked like depression. His anxiety is sky high. Marijuana is his self medication of choice.


#291

Wow - that is inspirational!
Very best wishes to your family.


#292

We as parents don’t always know what is going on so I understand when you saidin the early years you could have helped more. me too. But what can you do? Pass tense.My moms sz started at 25, not sure if it started before I was born or after. My dad didn’t talk much about it. But I do know she was at the hospital a lot when I was a toddler. Good you built him a separate place, makes life easier. I have to read about prodromal stage. No idea what that is. My son is working, loves his job so that is a good thing. Has goals, crossing my fingers he keeps them. We will see. I think he is taking his meds as he has been very good lately other than drinking. But who knows they can hide things.


#293

Thanks Presence for giving some information to the ones that live in Ma that is great.


#294

Threema, I am so glad your son is in a good place, working and loving his job, I love hearing when things are going well for our loved ones.

My son’s prodromal period was pretty typical. I should have explained what prodromal is, sometimes I forget that we should explain medical terms. The prodromal phase is the period before psychosis shows up. Jeb began to change in little ways. He began avoiding his friends at college, and he was always a really social guy, even from babyhood, he loved spending time with his friends more than anything. That’s why I remember that day so clearly, at the end of the phone call from Jeb, I sat there thinking how odd the call had been. Jeb called out of the blue to tell me that his friends were mad at him. I asked him why and he said “because I don’t want to do anything with them anymore”. The last year of college he left his dorm where he lived with all of his friends for three years, to move into a different dorm. As the years passed he continued to change, always slowly, and he suffered some periods of depression. He graduated from college and began a series of jobs that never lasted very long. As time progressed the jobs became lower and lower paying. Jeb graduated college in four years with a 3.2 average, 1 major and 3 minors and did a term abroad. Even in prodromal he would cycle, having good periods and not so good periods.

Best we know, he began hearing voices at age 27, 7 years after the first sign we saw of him being “different” than his usual self. Supposedly 7 years is the average length of a prodromal period. Jeb didn’t say “I am hearing voices” he said that people were being rude to him and calling him names. They weren’t really, but that’s what he was actually hearing. Studies have been done to show that during psychosis what they hear registers in their brain exactly the same as real sounds.

I am sorry about your mom. My husband’s mom and her sister had schizophrenia. His mom took a lot of abuse from his dad for her illness.


#295

Thanks for explaining prodromal. Makes sense now. Yes Jeb did change a little at a time. But it is hard to see these things. My son was never social. Lost friends at age 7/8 years old. He has an older brother so at that time the video games came out. My oldest was social and played these games. My Son K just played the games. Years went by and he was always angry. Then highschool came. Not social. Just a “cave dweller” someone that is just a gamer and never left his room. Skipped a lot. He finally got his highschool accomplished with of course the help/disapline of me. School said they thought he has adhd. I took him to the doctor. Doctor said they have no clue what they are talking about. He is a normal kid. I never questioned him not having friends. just thought it was him. He moved out after he graduated highschool. Found a job, lived part time with his father (my kids father was disabled) ( we divorced when he was about 12/13) long story there. Anyways, he was doing well. Then their dad died. My sons decided to live together. Great. But my son had a concussion at work and from that point on we all started noticing signs of him seeing things and hearing things. Just like you son. People called him names etc.Then the depression hit. lost his job, and jobs started drinking. We moved them to another part of town. Found new jobs, lost them, drank, Then finally hit bottom. And that is when we thought ok he has sz and or bipolar. BUT this kid doesn’t want a doctor. 22 now. So he is with us. So sad that you son was doing so so well then progressed downward :frowning: But as you said family had mental illness so guess our sons were the ones to get it. :((


#296

I am sorry Threema, I do feel lucky that Jeb had some good years. I really hate it when this illness takes their childhoods away too. I am so sorry.

After we finally had it spelled out to us what was wrong with Jeb, but before we began telling anyone, one of my son’s friends asked if I thought Jeb’s problems were because we “spoiled” him. Okay - we had rules and you had to obey them, but it is true that Jeb had things in his life that weren’t the norm for rural Texas children. I grew up in the Chicago area, my kids lived in California for six years of their childhoods, we aren’t typical rural Texans. My kids were paid for their chores, worked part time with their dad and had money for all the latest video games, clothes and shoes of that period of time. They also had rules and boundaries that were set and not moved.

When his friend asked me that question I wasn’t offended. I just said “Oh dear Lord, I hope so”.

His friend apologized about a year later and I just cried when he did. If I had those years back, oh how I would spoil him, if I had only known for what a short time I would have that version of him. Now I feel helpless to make his life better in any way.

My husband didn’t even know his mom had schizophrenia He just thought that’s the way she was. After my son was diagnosed, the “skeletons in the closet” were released by the older generation. Stigma hurts all of us, without knowledge and information we are powerless.


#297

Oh Hope, how your wish that you spoiled your son when you had the chance really struck a chord with me today. I forget how fortunate I am that I can spend my days with my son, even if he drives me off the deep end, and even though I had to leave my career (a career that I absolutely loved) to make sure he is safe, not afraid, and not lonely.

I imagine you and your husband must yearn to be able to “just be” with your son, to have meals with him, to run errands with him, or to just hang out and stare at the clouds with him. I’m so sorry for this.

I am sharing your story with my family, so that we can all have more patience and compassion for our son. He didn’t ask for this illness. It’s not his fault. We have certainly had our fair share of the hell that this illness creates, but we are very fortunate that we have periods of stability that allow us all to be together as a family.


#298

So wise of you Day-by-Day. How we all love our children is a joy. My good friend who did get her son into recovery, always told me to treasure those days when my son would surface through his illness. It was the best advice. Have a wonderful day.


#299

I’m new here, my beautiful boy has been ill for 2 years and has had his diagnosis for 18 months. I think iv been in shock the whole time. The doctors have just hospitalised him for the 8th time since the beginning of this terrible journey. They say he is treatment resistant. I’m heartbroken I can’t get out of bed now, the grief is overwhelming. My son is 20, have they given up on him? It’s so painful I can’t live with him anymore but he can’t live in the community he is to unwell. I don’t know what to do.


#300

Welcome Kellyjoy, glad you are here and so sorry for the reason. I do understand the feeling of shock - your world was rocked sideways and there just doesn’t seem to be any good news. New things are developed to try all the time. One of the other threads has an interview with a treatment resistant daughter of one of our regular members after she had special electric therapy.

Do they have a place for your son to live?