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How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia


My heart goes out to you My son, also, has severe schizophrenia. In past 3 months, has been in and out of 3 hospitals. No respite beds available, so I have him at my home, to avoid 4th hospitalization It is overwhelming, so I can understand how you feel. My son may have to go to state hospital due to lack of progress on meds from his psychiatric provider since he recenty was discharged from hospital, where he received no treatment…a terrible facility. I look for help and am unable to find any help. Nami was also not of any help. I need to find an experienced psychopharmacologist that I can consult with…in New England area…does anyone have any suggestions. I have tried many renowed facilities in the area and unable to get appt for consult. Please let me know of any psychopharmacologists that will take appts for consult Feel Desparate, Hope those suffering from schizophrenia and their families, much help and relief from suffering. Also appreciate any suggestions, referrals that may be beneficial for my adult son. Thank you


So sorry to hear he didn’t receive proper treatment in hospital. That is absurd. Best of luck on your search and Take care too!


Hi Roseo. So sorry for pain you and son are going through. I am glad you have some support…but there is never enough support when times are difficult. I agree mental health system is broken and in many instances there is no help available at all…just words; but when in crisis, we need more than words. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and hope for the best for all.


Hi, I’m sorry for what you are going through and wish there were better treatment.

NAMI is for support and education. Many laypeople in each group also know about local resources, but NAMI itself is not allowed to make referrals. I found a doctor for my family member through NAMI because he spoke at an education night.

It’s a long, long road…


I called NAMI in my small town. The lady said I am the first person to call, the NAMI group is brand new. So at our first family-to-family mtg, I’ll be the only one. Well it’s a start. But I really wanted to talk in person with other parents in similar situations. But this forum is a godsend for information and support.


The support is good.

I have been avoiding coming to this site today, because I know my son is starting to decompensate due to not taking part of his medication, and last night proved it - he had a rough evening and a door is broken. It is so distressing to watch this start again.


Sorry to hear about your son.


I’m sure other people will show up soon. Sz affects lots of people and their families.


Vallpen, we had that happen last year when are son was off meds. Doors, window, and nearly a dozen holes on dry wall all occurred in a short span of time. When he broke the glass, I used that as a chance to get him to hospital to get a stitch. He was evaluated and hospitalized and we sought guardianship to be able to protect him and keep him there long enough for treatment. We really cannot control the situation any better but just to be able to work with a doctor on some occasions is a good thing. It doesn’t always help. My son is getting angry at me now so I’m not sure how long this will work. Doors can be repaired, lives sometimes cannot. There is a year of hospitalizations and pain in between but I do take it a day at a time and try to carve out time to take care of myself. Things get better and you will gain strength over time to handle any situation. Hang in there.


Yes, last year he had 6 hospitalizations. He had a hospitalization in January and was started on clozaril. It was working well, but without that morning dose, he is going downhill again. Current damage report is 2 broken bedroom doors, and one (recently replaced) kitchen cabinet door. I really struggled to keep from laying into him verbally on that last one.

He says it is “because of the medications that I make him take”. I have guardianship, so that is an easy out for him, to make me the scapegoat.

Without insight and acceptance of his illness, I feel like it is a losing battle. But of course I will keep at it.


Is it strange that my 32 yr old sz son has never been hospitalized? I have been reading a lot on this forum to help me w/what I’m going thru. My son was just diagnosed 2 yrs ago @ 30. I know he has a drug and alcohol addiction. He was diagnosed @ a homeless clinic. I wonder if he could have been misdiagnosed??? Could his being high, cause hearing voices? Could he be sz without ever being hospitalized? I have so many questions.


@Dreamer1 Anything is possible. My son was diagnosed sz at 21 and had addiction issues since he was about 15, turned out that the voices and visions also started at around 15 but no one picked up on it because of the addiction problems so he was sent to rehab instead of getting psychiatric help. If you have any doubts I would try to get him re-evaluated at a facility that specializes in dual diagnosis.


I plan on having him reevaluated once his Medicaid kicks in 4 wks from now. I’m starting to have doubts on his sz diagnosis. Most everyone has described hospitalizations and my son is 32 and has never been. He does have a lot of problems with drugs and alcohol. He may even be bipolar, which explains hearing voices. Any advice?


Isn’t dual diagnosis, when mentally ill person starts using drugs “after” diagnosis to help with voices/symptoms? I read if ill person first had addiction “before” diagnosis (like our teenage sons), then addiction needs to be fixed first. My son also started drugs/alcohol @ 15, but did not hear voices, hallucinations, etc. That didn’t start until mid 20’s.


No. Dual diagnosis is literally 2 illnesses at once, no matter which came first or why, as in addiction disorder and schizophrenia, or schizophrenia and bi polar or any two different brain disorders in one person. I am pretty sure that my son’s drug use made his sz worse as did the delay in diagnosis. Maybe your son’s drug usage helped to precipitate the late onset of schizophrenia, I have read articles about drugs like marijuana acting like a ‘switch’ to ‘turn on’ a dormant sz gene. My son was treated for schizophrenia once they realized he had it and was told to not do drugs anymore and he started going to AA and NA, I think that plan would have failed had I not had him live with me…until he got sane. Once he realized the medication stopped the voices he seemed less interested in getting high-I am not sure that is the story for other people but I am glad it worked for my son… I am glad you are getting your son re-evaluated, . Voices are a characteristic of schizophrenia…not bi polar…bi polar has characteristics like drastic mood swings, extreme highs and lows, racing thoughts, insomnia and then sudden bouts of depression…back and forth or in cycles.


Right now he’s using synthetic marijuana. He’s either gonna end up in jail or hospital. It’s such a sad way of life of what families struck by mental illness leads. Everyone I work with talks about their smart, athletic, successful kids and I cannot relate to anyone in my situation except in this forum. I appreciate everyone on this forum.


@Dreamer1 Once you can get him back in the medical system and get him treatment…things can get better for both of you. Your son and my son have gifts …sometimes they are not easy to see and they may not always be as exciting as athletics or scholarships or whatever…but they are still gifts, my son is funny and loving when he is stable and for me now that is a gift and I don’t care if he is athletic or goes to college, he is alive and well and able to think clearly once again without street drugs. I am sure you will get to see your sons good side again, once he gets the right treatment.


In NAMI family to family there was a woman who worked with corrections. She said it was often difficult to tell which came first with dual diagnosis. My son was diagnosed with ADD and took Adderal. Then he started smoking pot to sleep and eat. Then at 16 did mushrooms and had to be taken to the hospital. He was drug tested for a year and at 17 had a horrible year in junior year and was hospitalized before senior year. I guess he’s had 7 or 8 hospitalizations now and he is soon to be 22 years old. He has delusions that he is a chemist and God is directing him. We cannot allow him to get on the computer or give him a phone. If he could he would order from eBay and contact companies in China. It’s very sad but we are hoping this Invega shot will clear him up a bit. This disease has totally changed our lives. It’s hard to see why but I’m praying he will improve enough to live a stable life. It’s out of our hands. He seems to be mesmerized with hallucinogens. Part of it helps explain his illness and he would rather people think he was on a trip instead of having Sz.


That is so sad, parents go thru so much with ill kids. But my situation, I think is different from y’all’s is, my 32 yr old son is a convicted felon. His jail record started @ age 20 with a dui, he now has 21 convictions. Is it his poor choices or the sz diagnosis, which like I’ve mentioned was @ 30. A lot of advice comes from parents who have sz kids who do not have criminal records. I can’t wait until my first nami mtg to discuss everything. Thank y’all for listening and your input.


@Dreamer1 my son had a juvenile record and would have likely had more legal problems if he hadn’t gotten diagnosed at 21 and began treatment. My friend has 2 son’s with mental illness and one is in prison and the other is in and out of jail every other month. Sadly, legal problems are not uncommon with the mentally ill.