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How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia


#61

Yes, it was a good thing he started treatment@ 21. But there was nothing to diagnose for my son @ 21. He did get dui’s though until he got his license suspended.Then violent behavior started, assaults, burglary, etc. I’m just running this by you cuz I know you’re very knowledgeable on sz. I feel so depressed on the way he’s living his life. Is it sz or just his nature?


#62

@Dreamer1 I just read a lot. Lots of things can be happening at the same time…it all comes together…sz…addiction…impulse control problems…maybe inability to express himself appropriately…all of these things can be addressed in treatment. Hang in there my friend.


#63

If we didn’t hover over him, I’m sure he would be in jail by now doing something stupid. It’s sad but most are victims themselves and get in trouble peeing in public or worse. There’s no way they are going to show up to court on their own so there’s another infraction. My son never would snitch on someone so he would likely be the person holding the bag and doing the time. My sis in law is a PD and she said if we can keep him alive till he’s 25, we’d be doing something. It’s far from perfect and we don’t have much of a life separate from our sons but it could be so much worse. I think I heard that 40 - 70 percent of prison population have mental illness. They have become our modern day asylums but it must be a very scary place for someone with paranoi. Also, when they have a felon, they lose their benefits which is also tied to their medical. It is sad.


#64

First timer-I am so happy to have found this forum. If not only to know that I am alone and my feelings are validated. I totally share your as well as all of the other writers feelings. It’s like walking around with a literal broken heart.

To see your child (doesn’t matter the age) hurting, lonely and confused is devastating and one of the most painful feelings that a parent can feel barring death. I’ve learned to search fervently for the good in this situation, as small as they may seem. I relish a good conversation with my son. I thank God for it and roll it around in my heart delightfully.

I am so grateful for it because I realize, in everything, things can be worse. I have accepted that the only real thing I can do for my beloved son is to pray for him. I ask that God sends him an angel in his life that will not hurt him or take advantage of him. I ask that God touches his heart to give him hope in his life. I ask that God blesses him with laughter and to see happiness again.

The sadness can be crippling and sometimes I feel that I can’t even breathe. I then realize that if I let this feeling consume me then it becomes a rippling effect to my family. so I seek the good and pray and pray some more and it helps.


#65

Unless my son is at the moment experiencing psychosis, he gladly gives me a hug and says ‘I love you’ when I stop by. He also says ‘Thank you’, and ‘that was good’ about the dinners I fix for him. That’s pretty minimal, but I’ll take it!


#66

@Vallpen Small victories make the day! :joy:


#67

@Vallpen
I am very sorry to hear that you and your son are having a hard time again. I will continue to keep y’all in my prayers. We all understand your pain. Be blessed and stay strong! Hugs to you!


#68

Aren’t they the best moments! Cherish those memories!


#69

I am in a similar situation. Late sixties, widowed, no other close family. Adult son with dual diagnosis lives with me (age 35).
Perhaps you can find ideas and support through National Association for the Mentally Ill - NAMI. Have you looked for a local support group or investigated the website? Best wishes.


#70

I can relate. This is exactly what I hear. The videos someone posted on this site where excellent. I read the book but got a lot out of the video too! It helps us respond and empathize with them. I have seen positive results in just a couple days trying those techniques of listening. I think before I was ignoring a lot of what he said. It must have made him even more frustrated. God bless!


#71

Thank you Greg! My son just started to get help and I’m praying he can recover like you! God bless!


#72

My son had SZ symptoms psychosis 3 months ago. That’s scared me a lot. His symptoms were induced by weeds/spice smoking. He stayed in hospital for 8 days. Medical bills are still coming now. The prescription is 3mg Risperdal daily.

He came home and the positive and negative symptoms are still existed. The medicine help him a lot but not 100% recovery.

I started to give him Sarcosine 2mg and after 24 hours he told me that his terrible feelings were going away.

His Risperdal been tapered off to 0.25mg by pdoc now and expecting off in 10 days.

The supplements he took everyday as follow but it may not work for everyone.

Sarcosine 2 mg-------CNS
Berberine 500mg x 3--------PNS
NAC 500mg x 3
B vitamin families------Gray/White Matter
Magnesium 500mg
D3
Fish Oil
Niacin 500mg

***** You must avoid all supplements which can increase/stimulate Dopamine*****


#73

Hi Sparrow- and all others who have posted…

New to this forum, but not to Schizophrenia… My son (28, diagnosed at 23) lives with me and until a recent planned suicide attempt had also not seen me cry. Fortunately, homeland security knocked on my door at 11pm on a Friday night to alert of his suspicious internet activity…I drove him straight to CPEP (emergency psych ER) and after he was admitted and I was able to see him 3 days later, I broke down. I mean, REALLY broke down. I think he was truly surprised at my incredible sadness…like he was seeing how the loss of him would affect me and the rest of our family for the first time. I think it was good for him to see that. The USPS tried to deliver the drug to our home the morning after Homeland Security contacted us, but no one was home, so a HS agent went and picked it up at the post office. When I think how close he came, and how had it not been for HS… Well, I’m sure you can imagine. He had been planning it for 4 months, and only the night before, we had dinner together and went to the movies. I remember thinking how good he seemed, and to think that only a day or two later he was absolutely going to end his pain and suffering…well, you question yourself as a mother – how you could miss the signs. Then there is the adverse feeling of you wouldn’t ever wanting your child to continue to suffer so…just so you can lie your head down each night knowing they were still with you…

I also have shown him movies/pictures of him when he was small, and loved, and HAPPY. I think he has trouble remembering/connecting to who he was before… and that is difficult to see. I have a picture of him at 17 above my desk at work. He has a present, joyous smile…clear and bright eyed… and if I look at it for too long, the tears just start flowing from my eyes… Now, his pictures show a doppelganger…someone who looks and sounds like my son, but isn’t. There are moments when he rises up through the encumbrances of schizophrenia, and I see the spark of his soul…but it is usually for just the briefest of moments…and then it is gone again. I watched “The Notebook” recently and in a way it reminded me of my son. How Noah waited for Allie to surface, even if only for a moment. I live for those moments…and they are what get me through the tough times and keep some semblance of hope alive, that things could get better.


#74

@Caod401 Thank you so very much for sharing that. :cherry_blossom:


#75

It is a great comfort to read many of the posts.

I’ve discovered that I am not alone in the feelings of sorrow and fear

that a parent experiences as they contend with paranoid psychotic behavior.

I keep thinking I can help my son, but he truly is in his own dark world.

Blessings and prayers to All.

VermontWoman


#76

I had to walk away from my son yesterday. He was certain I am under mind control, and is getting increasingly agitated. I see a clear correlation between his decision to stop taking his morning dose of meds and the return of symptoms. I don’t know what I am going to do next. I suppose just wait until he is sick enough to require hospitalization again.

Any new ideas on how to address this? It seems so obvious to me - stopped taking the morning dose, talk about military spying began again.

Even with guardianship, I feel I have so little leverage to work with.


#77

My heart goes out to you. My son is in a State Psych. Hospital here in Vermont.

Have you found a psychopharmacologist in your area yet?

I’m concerned that now that he’s stable on meds again,

he’s dying of boredom. He’s very intelligent and artistic.

Look forward to hearing from you.

I too have been disappointed by NAMI.

Prayers for Courage from Vermont


#78

Could you please let me know what your disappointments with NAMI are?

I have some too and I am interested because I like it for the most part.

Thank you…


#79

@Hereandhere — I can honestly say that NAMI has not really helped us that much. My husband and I went to Family to Family classes shortly after our son was diagnosed, about 7 yrs ago, We were so new to the schizophrenia world, we were grasping at anything that could provide any help at all.

We did find comfort in the camaraderie, to know there were others like us. Looking back though, the classes were too rushed. Too much material was crammed into our classes. Since other mental illnesses besides schizophrenia were being covered, a lot of the curriculum did not apply to us.

The thing that bothered me the most was that the classes were so rushed, there was never any time allowed for plain ole’ discussions between families, sharing our experiences. The facilitator would share things about her mentally ill daughter from time to time, but that was about it.

Although I do appreciate their efforts, I can’t say that when I’ve called them, I’ve ever been given really useful solutions to the impending crisis situations that have come up with my son.

Once I discovered it, Schizophrenia.com has been my trusted go-to, an invaluable source for advice and camaraderie. I’ve gleaned so much information from it for which I’m very thankful.


#80

Thank you for writing that reply.

I appreciate your response.