How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia


He doesn’t live with me, he lives in a house I got for him to live in - he pays me rent. I am there almost daily for short visits, but not at meds time. And mentioning it or reminding him results in blow-ups.


"He says it is “because of the medications that I make him take”. I have guardianship, so that is an easy out for him, to make me the scapegoat.

Does this ever sound familiar! Do you think hypnosis would work on some of these drug delusions? My son doesn’t do nearly the drugs he talks about 24/7 Thank God but it is so off putting to people, it ruins his chances a of finding decent friends. It scares us because of the people he is drawn to and stops us from pushing him to live elsewhere. He pretty much tells us that he would hock our things to buy drugs and all he does is make lists of drugs. It’s bizarre. We’re taking to the PDoc on Wednesday to see if it could be partially due to the antipsychotics but he has now found out how to go on the Internet through his PlayStation and guess where he spends his time? I feel helpless at times to stop him but I guess that will have to be taken from him too. Any advice would be appreciated please. I trust you more than my family at understanding and not judging.
And finally, the hard question …would you turn him in if he did try to order something illegal off the internet? Where do each of you draw the line. These kids are smart and when they get bored it often means trouble. Thank you


@Mom2 my son can’t deal with navigating the internet because it confuses him too much, so that isn’t an issue for him but maybe your son could just have a different gaming system that doesn’t access the internet, still fun but no internet, there are so many out there…my son is saying he wants a classic Nintendo system from way back when…because he misses playing Mario Bros. (I kind of do too!) and every once in awhile my son does the guilt trip thing on me …about what I “make” him do and even that I keep him “prisoner” here living with me…all delusions…the doctor says that’s not that uncommon…he only does it once in awhile so I just ignore it and let it blow over. If my son didn’t live with me he wouldn’t be so stable and he would very likely go back to drugs on his own. If my son could order something off the internet (assuming you mean something illegal) I would try to avoid turning him because that is counter productive to his sanity but I would make certain it didn’t happen again…and no amount of complaining from my son would change that. Best of luck :four_leaf_clover:


Thank you Catherine, great advice. I appreciate it very much. I guess that is what is so baffling about these delusions. They allow him to have the energy and drive to carry out plans he wouldn’t otherwise. I just don’t see how it can come and go like this. I keep coming back to the notion of getting him to try healthy new things to fill his time and it is exhausting but necessary. We will see what happens when I take that away. I’m sure it isn’t going to be fun. Thanks again and God bless


In the car try listening to classic radio and getting him to sing with you. My son won’t sing every single song but every now and then he will surprise me and sing along. I love those days. Makes me almost want to do a road trip​:mount_fuji::smirk:


Hang in there! It is so good to hear that NAMI is expanding - I get a lot of support and education from my group


The hospital has to have a discharge plan if you were authorized by your son, you will also be told by the social worker. The key I found is staying on their meds, even if there are side affects. Check Catholic charities, they counsel my son and once a month he sees the psych doctor

Take it one day at a time.


Thanks for your response and sorry for not responding til now. I’m not too tech savy, so it’s challenging. Glad to hear your son is stable. and also that he has special gifts, ie art. Hope he continues well. I finally got appt with spec in schizophrenia and will have follow up appt in 2or so week. Hope he can suggest some meds that may be helpful. Has been with focused delusions, isolative, scared to leave house. I do my best to advocate for him and take him to appts, etc. Agency that works with him seem to have very limited time…his situation is less than optimal but I know it could be much worse. Let me know how things are going with you and I wil try to to respond in a timely fashion. My best to you, sdadlej


There is so much pain when we see our mi children suffer. Witnessing the suffering of our children I feel we as parents are pushed and tested to the outer limits. Having gone through this for about 18 years there are good and bad days for me. When I have a good day or even a good hour I’m learning to savor it. Savor the good moments and know what you are doing is so worth it.


Just be extra cautious. My son nearly killed me during a psychotic episode. He pushed me down and kicked my face and body numerous times. I was knocked out but fortunately saved by my wife who was also kicked in the mouth. I ended up with a broken nose , fractured eye sockets,jaw bone, and ribs. My eyes were nearly swollen shut for days. He left the house for over a year and came back begging to stay. We let hin stay on the condition that he remain on medication. This lasted for about a year and then he decided to quit. I gave him an ultimatum to either take his medicine or leave. He is currently on full SSDI and living on the streets. He is our only son and as much as we love him, we cannot risk our lives living with him. I offered to buy him a house in another state that we could afford, but he wants us to buy him a van instead. I dont want to be responsible for him driving a vehicle and possible injuring someone. So, we are at a stalemate. I get a call from him about every six weeks, he mostly expresses wild thoughts during these calls. He has no phone and wont even set up a email account so that I could contact him. He is extremely paranoid about anyone contacting him. We have a large estate to leave him but I or my estate lawyer dont even know where he is at or how to contact him . We are so upset over what this disease has done to our family.


I agree with you 100% about not providing a vehicle.

I am so sorry for what your family went through and is going through.


You are amazing parents, I can’t imagine how you cope. Bless you ,


I have no words except I am thinking of you and your wife and your son even, Stay strong if you can , sending my thoughts.


I completely understand. My son who is 32 is schizophrenic. He lives with me, he couldn’t live on his own. I too, worry about what the future may hold for him. He is not like the people I see in this forum who have the presence of mind to even sit and type and contemplate what is happening to them. He pretty much lives in the moment, and stays in his room. … UPDATE …I began this response back in June. It is now Thanksgiving! But in the interim my son went on Medication. He has been unmedicated since he first presented in 2006. It has helped a little. Not a whole lot. He still has an “entourage” of people he talks to. so it doesn’t really quiet the voices all together. But we now maintain a livable situation, at least for the past 4 to 5 years. So do not lose hope.


I feel for you. I know that there were some terrible years in the beginning. There have been times when I was in danger I’m sure. We came to blows a few time in those days. But thankfully I haven’t had a problem with my son concerning violence in a very long time. It must have been so horrible for you. Know that you are not alone among parents of schizophrenic children who have to make hard choices with heartbreaking issues.


It never fails to amaze me how many others there are out there who deal with this monstrous disease. I understand every emotional you so candidly expressed here. Thankyou


I sure do appreciate this site …before I didn’t have any clue that others were experiencing the same things I am with my son…I don’t feel so outcast any more …my son will never be the same especially now after all the drugs and medications so its nice to be able to come here and not be judged.


I think my son triggered this illness smoking spice too. Thank you for posting the supplements - I’ve been looking into sarcosine too


Spice causes much damages and we don’t know what it is.
To search the best fish oil in the market. Hope it will help!


The same year of one sibling’s illness manifesting itself, another sibling fell into a coma. Not being able to conceive of the loss of the life of that dear child in a coma, I found myself in shock and incapable of coping upon the eventual death.

My ill sibling suffers from anosognosia. Things have become very frightening. What I remind myself of is this: Where there is life, there is hope. While our struggling family members are living with us, there is always a chance of finding the answers needed to help them.

I get angry at the system. I get frustrated with my own powerlessness. Hopelessness is never a part of the gamut of emotions, though. My younger sibling is alive and is loved - so I’ll keep researching, learning, and hoping.