How to deal with my sadness of my sons schizophrenia

I feel the same way about my son. I pray a lot. Have you considered counseling? It really helps me to talk out loud about it to an impartial person. The sadness is with me every day, but when my son has a great day, it’s so joyful. My son was in and out of hospitals for 5 years and now he’s been home for almost 6 months! There is hope!

3 Likes

I have boundless empathy and admiration of my sons courage in living with sz. I struggle with allowing myself to have needs.

He has relapsed after several years stability. He hoped he was in remission and eventually stopped meds. This might have been ok without the stress of a volatile relationship with his partner.

Son is now in hospital and blaming me for not acting quickly enough to prevent a traumatic incident which led me to have to call emergency services. He doesnt accept that i could not have known because he was living with partner and only stayed with me for a few days after she told him to leave for the hundredth time.

Son is 35. Its been 12yrs since he was diagnosed. There is talk of him being discharged to my home. I cannot bear the thought of this and feel that i wont make it if that happens. The stress is already consuming me without having to live it 24hrs a day. How do i tell him that he cant stay with me??? Grateful for any suggestions.

2 Likes

If he can’t stay with you, he can’t. Tell the treatment team and have them tell him or maybe tell him when they are in the room?

1 Like

Your “boundless empathy and admiration,” and no doubt, love for your son is such a gift to him. He is so fortunate to have that alone…and he likely cannot recognize fully the level of emotional support you are in his relapse. My son truly has been so wicked with his words when he is living in the chaos and struggle of this illness.

Hereandhere is right, the treatment team could be a big support to you in this. There is nothing wrong with holding off on any planning within your home until you are certain all of the other options related to independent living are eliminated, and even then…I am discovering that I need to get out of my own need to control or wrap my arms around the future (my sons, mine, ours together), as this illness changes every day. Our loved ones recovery and medication compliance seem to take turns sometimes within the same day, so I am learning not to worry or plan too far in the future.

2 Likes

Thanks hereandhere and jmarie1067.

Ive tiptoed around my son for years, not wanting to hurt his feelings and add to his burden. Sometimes fearful of his reaction. Am trying to develop a more open and honest relationship so dont want to leave it to others to tell him he cant stay with me.

Tired of the constant anxiety, and doing it all alone. Sons dad died and was not a support even when he was around. Family on both sides are nowhere to be seen.

As u mention jmarie1067, think i need to stop trying to control and make things better somehow. He needs to take responsibility. I wonder what will happen when i am no longer around if he doesnt. I guess i hope he might reach out more to other people if he needed to.

I dont know.

3 Likes

I would get a second opinion. A psychiatrist not a clinic. They say that pot can trigger schizophrenia symptoms, but I am not a doctor.

Best of luck.

2 Likes

Autoimmune diseases, gastrointestinal disorders and the microbiome in schizophrenia: more than a gut feeling.

Gastroenterology issues in schizophrenia: why the gut matters

Those two articles are worth to read.
There are some good supplements are available on markets such as: digestive enzymes for your gut. some enzymes for autoimmune inflammation. Non-side effects
You can find on Google.

2 Likes

Search "protease deficiency"
My son took Digestive Enzymes and improved for sure.

Me too. Sending you hugs xoxoxo

Thanks and right back at you xoxoxo

Mangosteen a south Asia fruit as a traditional herb for hundred years. The follow link is the 2014 research reports about Mangosteen and Schizophrenia.

I hope it can help!

Thank you. My son recently attacked me again in a psychotic moment. He called the police and was arrested instead of being taken to the hospital. Big mess. Judge waived no contact order and let me take him and a week later he is home again. I am getting flack from people for that, but what am I supposed to do - there is no other place he can go - services in my county are aweful. It has been almost a year since this happened before, and I know I triggered him. I wish medicaid would cover a nice supported living facility

4 Likes

I reread my post. Wow. Nothing is ever set in concrete in this new world is it? March 5 on this post I said in done crying seraquel is working great. Fast forward to April 13 and my son who was thinking through the meds, got ahold of colonapin and took way to many. Before the ambulance got there he became very very violent, angry, and threatening. He didn’t hurt anyone. Its so hard because my husband wanted to protect me. He didn’t hurt our son but he had one hell of a time having to talk nice to him to help bring him down. The whole situation was bad. Now our son is in the hospital 4th time since December 10th. This seems be getting dare I say routine? I guess im not randomly crying like I was 2 months ago. I haven’t even cried typing this. But it’s hard. Its hard how he is so angry and violent, then 2 days later he’s calm as a peach all medicated up again. I’m not scared of him. But maybe I am a little. I know in drug induced rages like his anything that is said should go in one ear and out the other. But what if some of it is really what he is thinking. I don’t know. But I am crying a bit less. :heart:

3 Likes

I found some article regard the Patent of PRP…
"International Patent Application published as WO 98/14473 disclosed the use of colostrinin for CNS disorders treatment, such as neurological disorders, mental disorders, dementia, neurodegenerative diseases, psychosis, neurosis, and especially Alzheimer’s disease."
You can google “WO 98/14473” and check in details.
Hope it may help! Good Luck!

1 Like

ditto every word that is written here by parents dealing with this. My son mostly stays in his room, watches tv, draws on his walls from time to time, then repaints them, smokes like a fiend, and goes with me to the store, or on outings we take, helps me around the house some. We even take vacations once a year and that is a big deal. But we are over 15 years dealing with this disease now and it has gotten easier. He hasn’t had a “crazy meltdown” in about 10 years now. Close, but we have been able to avoid that somehow. As time went by he has been more… even keel. Dont know how else to put it. It is what it is. The hardest part lately is that my son, now on a new med is having clarity he didn’t seem to have before. That is great! He seems more rational. Able to engage in conversations which is encouraging! But there is a down side. Realizing for the first time just what a “train wreck” his life really is. Understanding perhaps for the first time how much he has missed and is missing out on. Said to me the other day, " you know mom, I’m never going to have a girlfriend or get married or have kids. I’m not going to be able to do those things". The sadness is his voice was truly heartbreaking. These were things he just didn’t seem to realize before or didn’t think about or who knows what! Now that brings on a sadness all together different. I thought I had come to except this at least for myself. Felt fortunate compared to some here. But to see him find the reality in his own existence is a double edged sword. Realizing what this disease has cost him and no cure in sight he now adds depression to his symptoms. I don’t know whats worse. Knowing or not being aware. I can’t stop thinking of the book “Flowers for Algernon”.

2 Likes

My son gets sad about the same things, and it has fueled some of his delusions.

I don’t know if it’s true though. There are lots of people without a MI who are “late bloomers” and find love & family late in life.

Maybe they will too?
I think for my son, the fact that he doesn’t get out of the house much and isn’t able to talk to people holds him back as much as any type of psychosis.
He certainly has his share of flirtations when he goes into the hospital.

1 Like

Yes, the fact that he doesn’t go out much has a lot to do with his social skills but then again it use to be people generally with in about a paragraph of dialogue start to arch their brows and look sideways because frankly he didn’t make much sense at least to them. Or he would be talking to himself or people we can’t see. That doesn’t make for very good relationships with real people. I do feel guilt in the fact that I am terrified he will come home with a pregnant “girlfriend” someday. When he was really “out of it” when he first started to present in his late teens he took off quite a few times, with a girl or his friends and he would be left somewhere and I would get a call and go pick him up half way across the state! Once in a hospital after being beat up. These were some horrible times for us and I can’t tell you how glad I am that things have settled down to a routine of sorts. And with this new medicine there has been some significant clarity and insight for him. Maybe this will bring about a change in his desire for “more” in his life.I can only hope that will be possible. But as we all to well know, life is no bed of roses with a “normal functioning” brain! I can only support him in any effort to engage himself in life. Sorry to have run on but the struggle is always with me even though it may be off on a back burner so to speak. It kind of pours out here and there especially when you have someone who really knows what you go through day to day.

Do you mind sharing what his new meds are?

Now that rings a bell. When your child is growing up, these are on the list of hopes and dreams you want your child to experience. After the sz diagnosis, you immediately assume none of these will happen, I know I did. Since her diagnosis, although we never thought our daughter would experience having a boyfriend, or physical love, through her own determination and resolve, she’s had several relationships (using online dating), one of which lasted 8 years! You’ll need to help your son to filter out the odd people on dating sites, and you may need to discretely chaperone first dates, but believe me, there are all sorts of people looking for a relationship, and your son is certainly not excluded. If he wants it bad enough, the way to get it is out there.

1 Like

This is interesting; what is your son’s specific mental illness diagnosis?