@Margi, hi, how did everything work out with your son? I remember your heartbreaking devastating post about him thinking the food was poisonous. Hope he’s better and safe, and I hope you’re doing alittle better. Let’s be honest, none of us here are ever quite “well”, we just manage the best we can. This is the biggest heartache, as parents, to live thru.
Things aren’t going well he’s already seen that money grabbing lawyer who thinks this is just a game to win. He’s already told my son that the hospital can’t keep him and he might be out even before the hearing. This is going to be a death sentence for him and will kill me at the same time.
I hope this lawyer is wrong, your son is in a desperate situation. This lawyer must not realize its life or death for your son. I am so sorry Margi.
@Margi, oh I didn’t realize he somehow managed to end up @ the hospital. I remember he was fighting tooth & nail about going in. Was it involuntary commitment?
I don’t like to generalize or stereotype, but I’ve yet to meet a lawyer who is not all about the money. Anyone in their good conscience would see that your son needs very long term extended care. Your son thinks everything that is good for him is bad or evil, surely the lawyer has to see that and serve not in his own best interest, but your son’s. I’ll say it again, it’s a sick twisted world.
If all fails, all you can do is let things play out. Sometimes we can’t stop things from happening or prevent it as much as we wish we could.
I’ve become such a realist, my new motto is expect the worst but hope I’m wrong.
The lawyer may only believe/know what your son is saying to him. I am guessing that your son sounds educated and sane when the lawyer speaks to him. My daughter had a police detective and a social worker convinced for awhile that my husband was abusing her until enough conversations occurred on separate days (for months) that the detective realized her sanity was faulty and would never hold up in court.
Have you spoken to the lawyer? Maybe he would listen to your side?
Oldladyblue £Diane just to let you know the hearing with the hospital and my sons lawyer is going to be on Monday at 9 :30 am.
Good luck tomorrow Margi. I’m really praying the right thing (the humane thing) happens for your son. I know it’s difficult, but try to have hope.
@Margi I’ll be thinking of you. 9:30 ET? I hope it goes the way you want it to. I’m sorry as I know this is very stressful. Hang in there!
I’ve been going through what seems like a roller coaster ride I can never get off of with my boyfriend. One day we can be so in love and so happy and the next day I’m the devil to him. On top of that, I may be pregnant,and he is in one of his manic stages right now. Told me he was done with me and I was sleeping with everything in town. Which is not true . It feels like I’m not happy and I haven’t been for months now, I’ve been miserable. But every time I try and leave I guilt myself because I know he has a disease. But if I am pregnant I can no longer help him
@Margi I do hope the hearing tomorrow goes toward getting your son the treatment he needs. I will be thinking of you and praying for a good outcome for you both.
@Dracc123 Things change a lot in a relationship when a child is coming, the mom needs good emotional support. When the baby comes, the child needs stability. I am sorry that your relationship has been a roller coaster ride. It likely will get worse, in my opinion. My ex couldn’t take life with 4 kids. His emotions were always in danger of going out of control towards me and the kids. I stayed for 17 years trying to fix things and finally left, running away in the middle of the night in actual fact, as I could never get his agreement to split up easily. I felt guilty too. Looking back, there was nothing that should have made me feel guilty. It was a self-destructing relationship, and I stayed far too long.
@Margi he needs to be on a depot medication, the Invega shots are a good idea.
Barring that, can you convince him to eat supplements? Amyloban 3399 has a track record for treating refractory schizophrenics, it could possibly normalise him if he takes it regularly for at least two weeks.
Yes I know for a fact this time I am done…I have emotionally been drained and I can’t take it any longer. I have to make this choice for my kids. I want to be there for them ,and I can’t do that if I’m constantly depressed. This disease affects everyone. I know it is out of his control,but the fact that he won’t even take his meds shows me he doesn’t care. One night I cooked a dinner and made him a plate and took it to him , he didn’t even say thank you or I love u he took the plate and walked away. It may seem small,but to me that was so weird for someone to do. He texts me and told me I’m.the devil because Im aggressive when we have sex, how does that make me the devil? It’s like every situation,he finds away to make me feel so incompetent or just plain nasty about. I never feel warm or loved around him.
Those are the key words, I’m afraid. Without meds, he cannot see other than what his delusions dictate about you. If he won’t take meds, he probably cannot recover based on statistics. Many people with this illness never see that they are ill, never see they need meds.
I left my ex 6 times and went back during 17 years. When I left the final time, I did it suddenly, without warning and made sure he couldn’t find me until the divorce was final. It was so very, very hard.
Diane , oldladyblue
Thankyou for all your support and thinking of me and my son on Monday. I don’t really know what happend at the board hearing but the good news is the lawyer couldn’t get my son out of the hospital and I am the substatute decision maker now. He received the first shot of invaga tonight. He is very upset saying that the doctors are killing him. I will know more when I meet with the doctor tomorrow.
It can be hard to feel like these things are progress, but they are. Hoping the Invega works well for your son!
This is all good news Margi -
That’s great to hear! I was wondering how things were going. You have worked so hard to get to this point. I think your son was on meds in the past? I can’t recall. It took several weeks for the meds to work for my son. He mostly paced the hospital corridors for three weeks. After a week, however, he no longer thought I was an imposter. I hope the meeting goes well with the doctor and the meds work for your son!
Oh, @Margi I am so very glad that the hearing went the way you wanted it to. Please keep us posted. We are all rooting for you, and I am especially glad.
Metvwith the doctor today. She isvgoing to put my son on a form 4 that states he has to stay in the hospital for another 4 weeks. He can hire a lawyer again to contest this then the whole thing with the hearing would take place again. The doctor is making arrangements. to send my son to a siciatric hospital for 2 or 3 months where there would be a team of people working with him, this is because he has absolutely no insite. Now I’m feeling gilty sending him away he thinks he’s going to be out of the hospital soon. This place is quite far up north. I won’t be able to get there that easy mabe once a month. My amotions are just all over the place.