Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Just about over it


#1

Well back on the emotional roller coaster again!! Starting to wonder if it’s worth sticking around or to just leave,
Sucks how life can be so perfect then do a complete 360 in a matter of seconds for no reason other then my partner having one of his paranoid delusional moments. We share a son together and have another on the way and seems life would be happier long term if I just cut all the other ties with him and go along my way on my own. I love him I truely do and I accept that his thought processes aren’t always able to be helped but I posted a previous post about the things he says and does and someone said if he doesn’t treat or act that way to others it is something he can control with me and I realise that I am the only one that cops it from him. I knew before I committed to him that things weren’t ways going to easy and that I would have to take on most of the responsibilities in the house hold and that was ok with me, still is but the thing I can’t get my head around and accept is how he can be so thoughtful and loving to others and not have that with me anymore it’s like his taking advantage of my acceptance and kind nature, he may be paranoid and delusional but his is no where near as bad as others his unmediated his able to work and very well too may I add his happy in social situations to the average person they’d have no idea he even has sz so yeah sorry for the long rant but need to vent somewhere so it’s off my chest, I’m at a special time in my life and I need love and support too I need to be reminded how beautiful I thought I was to him and how I’m doing a good job which doesn’t seem to happen all I hear about from him is anything negative about absolutely everything funny thing is if this was a friend of mine I’d say just leave him his a d@*k but is always harder to take your own advice I know to some on here I may sound intolerable and maybe even selfish but I’m honestly not just in a bad frame of mind just now trying to cope with as I call it the "emotional roller coaster


#2

Have you thought about some kind of couples counseling?Give him an ultimatum that he must go with you or you leave? Sometimes people behave like he is behaving out of pure insecurity.


#3

Yeah I’ve suggested that and his told me his not interested he’ll go with me for me but won’t participate as he doesn’t need it and I know as soon as something that is said he takes as a personal attack all hell will break loose and i fear giving him an ultimatum won’t work as it’s always been quiet easy for him to leave he always messages and will send things like I hope his making you happy things along those lines fishing for me to ease his mind I’m still alone and ask him to come back which I don’t mind just would be nice if once in a while he would apologise for his actions and tell me he wants to come back so I know what I feel is the same as he does but it never happens and I feel like I’m constantly talking him into coming back not that he returns because he actually loves me and wants to be here


#4

Hey. I’ve pretty much been in your shoes before and I don’t even want to talk about about it because it is so troubling. Especially if you intertwine morality or religion into the situation. Just leave. chances are that it’s just a giant mud puddle and the best possible outcome of it is that you will probably just go numb and “adjust” if you stick around. Which sucks. And in the constitution you’re entilted to life liberty and the persuit of happiness… and good chances are that your situation is honestly a sad stretch of all three. Here’s to hoping it doesn’t bite you in the ass later on. This is coming from someone with sz… so i don’t think i have a bias on the matter. In fact you’ll probably develope sz if you stick around. hah… that’s a little joke… but yeah, cheers.


#5

Thanks for your advice and what youve said is so true on many levels sometimes it’s just hard to do what needs to be done I had to chuckle at the end joke as although I know I don’t have sz at times I’ve questioned my own sanity but I guess it comes with the territory when life revolves around sz and the problems that arise from it


#6

**Hi Boggled~
You have a baby on the way and that should be your main concern. Whatever you are going through-your baby will also go through.
It`s fine that you are coming here to vent. Maybe take a separation break until after the baby is born.
Do you have any support? **


#7

Very limited support I pushed people away and I don’t really talk to those I still have about much of anything I know it’s not what I should have done but it’s a choice I made to keep peace and at the time thought he was worth it second thinking as of late though


#8

leave, it’s that simple. if he can control himself around others then he can control himself around you. your children don’t need a paranoid jealous man for a father as that is how they will grow up if you stick around. you don’t deserve his outbursts. people only deserve your understanding if they truly require help and he obviously doesn’t or he would be doing a whole lot of apologising. leave him. i would. in an instant. babies come before yourself and your partner. re-establish the bridges you burned. eat some humble pie with your support network and leave. do it now and do it for good. jealous people don’t change. they will always be insecure and always accusatory. is that really what you want your children to see? and grow into? if you can’t do it for you, do it for them. put them first.


#9

I wasted 25 years of my life in a loveless one way marriage than ended with him taking everything of value, and manipulating everyone into thinking I was the one who was the problem.
He never supported me, and no amount of time changed his thinking that he should treat me any better than he had. It doesn’t get better. I wished I had cut my losses a long time ago. Some behaviors shouldn’t be blamed on Sz, because I’m the one diagnosed with Sz (thanks to him) and he is the one labeled “normal”!


#10

Is he on medicine, has he been well and still had these problems?


#11

In the end only you can decide if he is worth it. Maybe you could do a trial separation and see if you need him in your life. Maybe if you didn’t live together but still had contact would be a good solution.