This group means a lot to me…I don’t know any of you personally, but when I read your stories there is always a thread of connection in them that makes me know there is a lot of mutual understanding here. That is really important to feel understood when dealing with loved ones that have an illness that literally defies understanding.
Having said that I am taking a leap of faith this holiday and allowing for my sza sister (I have mentioned in previous posts) to spend Christmas night with me and my sz son. It came about in a convoluted way. I mentioned my sister can be very manipulative and I knew something was coming but was unsure of what. She mentioned how "she really wanted me to drive her back and forth from her house (about 20 mins away from me) instead of scheduling her Mainstream bus which costs her a little under $6. But I declined initially because of her non stop talking which makes it very hard for me to focus on safe driving…also I don’t drive well at night. Nevertheless…I truly want her to spend the holiday with us for many reasons besides the fact that I love her unconditionally. So when I called her a couple of days ago and asked her if she had booked her Mainstream bus to get here and back she went on and on endlessly how that was impossible for her to do because she was sick, injured, confused, sleepy, angry, and a whole assortment of other reasons…so I said how will you get over here? Then she starts with the idea of asking virtual strangers for help…(something she is actually pretty skilled at) but it is dangerous in my opinion…so I said that I really wanted her here and I did not appreciate being put in a position where I would have to drive when I really didn’t want to (attempting to acknowledge her manipulation for what it’s worth) and I said I would not be able to drive safely if she continues to talk non stop the whole time…she was beside herself with excitement that I would pick her up and swore she would be quiet (yeah…right–hmm) anyway then I said to her…I still cannot drive at night with any comfort…so it was her idea and she said “what if I stayed over night?” [truth be told I have wanted her to stay over night forever just to break the mold and get her further out of her shell and this is an activity that is WAY out of her comfort zone] So there is no way I would say no…and I said that was a great idea…and it is because I will only have to drive in the daytime and only once on any day which is good for my stress levels…and if it gets too stressful with the non stop talking and intermittent histrionics- I can go upstairs to bed and have peace and quiet and my son and sister who have no qualms about each others “idiosyncrasies” can commiserate to their hearts content…I think this Christmas may prove to be a win/ win situation for my tiny family in spite of all the possibilities…Merry Christmas to all of us and a Happier New Year!