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My wife cheated but I don’t know if it’s her schizoaffecrive disorder w bipolar


#1

I’ve been with my wife for 5 year, 2 of them married. She went into mania and psychosis February. I saw the signs but I didn’t know what was going on. I took her to see our doctor and she had us go to the ER. Once there they processed her to a mental health hospital. She was there for a week and it broke my heart. When she got out we kind of celebrated, I took her out to eat but her mood would shift dramatically from angry to paranoia. She was taking her medication but I thought it was getting worse. While she was far better than she was before she was admitted, she was still up and down with her mood. She didn’t like the seroquel she was taking even though it was a low dose so she eventually stopped taking it. Later she only took lexapro but stopped a few days ago and her anger and paranoia got worse. She was blaming me for putting her in the mental health hospital and we had arguments about maybe 5 times a week. So a few days ago as she was yelling at me, she said I was spying and making a movie about her because she cheated on me back in November when she went to Brooklyn with some friends/associates. I was floored, I couldn’t believe it so I checked phone records and saw she was calling a guy at 1am back and forth.

My heart still hurts, she won’t take medication and I want her to get better. In November I didn’t notice any thing unusual in her behavior prior to her trip or after. She went to New York earlier in the year but came back early because her younger brother committed suicide he had schizophrenia. Then I found out her mom had it too. So now when I bring up the cheating and ask questions she refuses to answer me. I’m frustrated, hurt and scared because I don’t know what to do to get her better. Meanwhile with our high deductible insurance plan our bills are pulling up and we’re struggling to pay rent and she can no longer work.

My two questions are, could her cheating be due to her illness? Also how do I get her to take her medication? I’m afraid if I take her in for an evaluation she may have to stay. And her doctors appointment isn’t until June.


#3

I have asked myself the same question due to my fiance cheating. It happened back when symptoms to show. I had not know nothing about
there disease. Ive never had a issue with him being unfaithful to me. and ive wondered if his disease played q part in his choice. hopefully someone ha a ah.answer our question.


#4

Hi Blue

Are you sure she cheated on you? It may be a delusion on her part, despite the phone calls.

As far as getting her to take her medicine, you probably can’t. Many people on this discussion board have trouble getting their loved one to take their meds–very common in sz patients. Most don’t think they are sick, so they don’t think they need meds.

I would encourage you to reach out to the doctor who prescribed her the AP meds, and make an appointment as soon as you can.

Also, browse the discussion topics on the board.


#5

I set up an appointment for yesterday. She talked to the doctor but I don’t know what they talked about. She won’t allow them to share information with me. I’m so frustrated. I can’t reason with her and she’s not going to tell the doctor about her feeling spied on by me, the neighbors and my co workers. All she told me about the appointment is she felt non physically abused by me and her next appointment would be in 3 months.

Should just crush pills up and put it in her food? That feels wrong to me. If she continues to not take her medication how long will she be like this? Right now she sleeps on the couch.

The cheating maybe a delusion but how can I be sure? The guy she called when she was out of town claims not to know her but his number is in her phone and they did call each other. Also she’s cheated in previous relationships.


#6

Experts advise not to sneak their meds into their food. They say that it’s best if they take responsibility to take their meds themselves. Also, if they find out you’ve been spiking their food, it will reinforce their paranoia.

That said, I would have done it w my sz ex if I could have gotten away w it.