I can’t believe it took me this long to find this forum and all the resources. I am literally in tears just reading the posts and comments from all of you.
Here is our story. My husband and I have been married 4 and a half years. I love him dearly. Five weeks ago he destroyed my children’s rooms (holes in wall/ceilings, furniture, etc) while we were not home. When I got home he screamed he was leaving and locked himself in the bathroom. I told him he had to leave and that I was taking out a restraining order because I and my daughter and even our dogs were terrified. He has been staying with his mother for most of the last 5 weeks and she is at the end of her rope too. He had a few days with his brother that ended in threats and an “assault” on the brother for which the police were called.
When we got married, my husband had an opiate addiction, which I thought was in the past. It was not. With my help, he began taking suboxone and was able to get off opiates. About this time God spoke to him for the first time. The delusions started. I didn’t know they were delusions bcz he had always been interested in paranormal, conspiracy theory, illuminati, etc. Seemed like more of the same. I think he began using other narcotics at this time although I didn’t know that. I knew he used pot but with PTSD, TBI, Dysthymia, etc… I didn’t worry too much though I wasn’t in favor. Marriage still good.
Had to move to a house he hated that I owned with my first husband. Delusions got a little scary- people living in attic, ex coming in house, someone moving his things, etc. He seemed to get over them so I thought… more weirdness, stress. Still no idea he was using.
A year later the dog he loved more than life itself got hit by a car and killed. He tried to save her life, and was unsuccessful. I know he was never the same after. Delusions increased last summer and got very scary. I found out about the drug use. He went away for a few days to his brothers house. His son and I tried to commit him. The VA MD agreed, told me to go to magistrate. Magistrate refused to accept IVC petition bcz he was already at VA. Husband released. Having told them his delusions of communicating telepathically with world leaders and concerns with mind control, the release strengthened his delusions (which I inappropriately screamed at the VA doctor). The diagnosis I was given was drug induced psychosis. He developed mistrust of me, more delusions about my ex, and he now believes he can control the weather, has in implant under his eye and in his tooth that records everything he sees or hears, is working for the CIA/DEA, is friends with Elton John (who he thinks bought him a house that he would try to get in and sit outside for hours). I literally questioned my own sanity because he was so convincing.
This past spring saw a rapid decline in function. When Prince died he became obsessed that Prince was actually a woman he had a child with (??!!). He has been mourning her since and communicating with her spirit. He also had children with Madonna. He’s convinced he has some disease that if people are not wearing makeup and in stage clothes and say they have a different name, he does not recognize them. He writes everything backwards and makes meaning from it. The people making the movies have stolen his life and put it on the screen. My ex husband, his family, and I were in some database he saw in 2006 stating we were in law enforcement. On and on.
His family is concerned. His brother took out an IVC but it was never acted on by the police and it expired. The family thinks getting him hospitalized won’t do any good until he wants to go and hits “rock bottom”- they blame his drug use for the delusions. They are about to make him leave the mothers house because she has fragile mental health he is making worse, but are unwilling to get an IVC because they think he will just disappear when released.
I’m driving them all insane. I call them constantly and cry to them and try to get them to DO SOMETHING since I havent seen him in 5 weeks. I want my husband to get help. My counselor is a former psych nurse and said that while she could not diagnose him, after reading his emails and texts it seemed to her that he indeed has pretty serious paranoid sz. I didn’t believe her. It couldn’t be SZ! He’s 46! After reading your stories it fell into place.
I am begging for your help. My husband said I broke his heart by being either unknowing or not believing him about mind stalking and working in law enforcement (again, I don’t). He told me he loves me but he never wants to see me again and hates me and my children and that I am evil. He sent an email to the Texas Rangers about me abducting my children 3 years before the oldest was born.
His family, due to their own addiction and mental illness issues, refuse to try an IVC again. I think they want to pray it out of him. His adult son is not speaking to him and has given up. It is down to me to try to help this man who now hates me.
I need help in thinking how to get him in the hospital when he won’t see or talk with me. I don’t know if he can meet the IVC criteria for my state in terms of danger to himself but I have texts that sound as if he is threatening me. My problem is, I’m scared. He’s smart and he can keep it together and say the right thing for a while. He might be able to comvince law enforcement not to take him to the hospital. Unless a doctor spends more than 15 minutes with him and builds trust my husband will mask it- I have seen him do it I’m concerned that even with everything they won’t keep him and if they do it will be for a day or two. If they only keep him that long, I am afraid of what he might do to me. Taking away his freedom or “saying hes crazy” has the potential to spin him into violence. Since he is staying with his mother and eating, taking long showers, sitting on the porch… it looks like in my state they would think he can take care of himself, but all that will change when he has to live alone. I am terrified he will OD trying to make the voices in his head stop. He also says he can tell when the thoughts are not his own, and they aren’t voices just shared thoughts and he gets very high level briefings.
I know this has been long and I appreciate you reading it. Please help me. My husband is about to be gone forever and no one will do anything.
Thank you in advance. I wish I had found this forum a year ago… as late as last night I have done everything wrong in getting him to seek help. Thank you.