Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Please help, need advice

My fiance, I’ll call him J, he is 32 andhas been in a downward spiral for the last 6 weeks. We share a home together, he has helped me raise my 2 daughters, we have been off and on for 10 years. Prior to this last 6 weeks, we had a normal life, if there were signs, I missed them. I’ve had to call the ambulance, called for 2 welfare checks, even had to call 911 today. He hears voices, all day long, every day. Laughs with them, converses with them. Has been accusing me of off the wall, insane things. Things I’d never do, things that don’t make sense. He barely leaves his office and rarely leaves the house. It feels like he has a better relationship with the voices (one of which he said is my voice, another being my ex husband) than he does with me and my girls. Its breaking my heart. I love him so much and I can’t imagine life without this man, but I’m losing hope of ever having my J back. Sometimes I feel like I’m living with a stranger. But my issue is that its almost as if he can turn it off when there’s any type of authority around. So I call the cops, he talks smooth, they say he poses no danger to himself, and I’m right back at square 1. Same with the behavior center, he said what he needed to say to ensure he’d make it home that night. I’m at the end of my rope, and I asked him how much damage he intended to do before he would agree to seek help and he got the most evil look on his face… I don’t know what to do. I keep telling myself if roles were reversed, he would stick it out for me, but I’m not sure of anything anymore. Any advice helps.

Hi, I am in the same boat. I have been on this site before but it has been awhile. I just posted something very similar. My fiance is J also. He lives with me. We were engaged a long time ago and never married because a lot has happened. He isnt compliant with pdocs or meds. He wont even go to a primary dr yet get a flu shot etc. His paranoia is bad. If I happen to walk by his unattended food or drink…he dumps it. It is a very bumpy ride. I dont know how you manage especially with children involved. I dont have any kids… medical complications… .but with all of this it would have been extremely more difficult for me.

I know about the conversations. My J doesnt make any sense. All over the board. He hasn’t had a real conversation with me in a very long time. Only when he needs or wants something. Its turned into a one way street. Ugh! :frowning:

This seems rather sudden - he really needs to see a medical doctor. Step one is always a complete medical exam to rule out other issues.

It was extremely sudden, but he doesn’t think he has a problem. He won’t get help of any kind. I’ve tried. The only thing he has agreed to is couples counseling and that has only been one session

I’m sorry you’re going thru this as well. Its so hard. I’ve felt hopeless for weeks. The depression that comes with it, its so heavy. I’m sure its heavy for them as well, I can’t imagine how it must feel to think the person you love is out to get you. Its hard

@Tripsta88 You have to think of your safety first and formost in this situation.
Do you have a plan for yourself?

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Hi. I’ve seen what you’re talking about with my loved one. I think a number of people who post here have. I call it the the ‘flip switch’. Personally, I’ve had some pretty intense physically aggressive stuff go down while my partner has been in crisis and then to have HIM call the authorities and watched him confabulate and fabricate scenarios calmly while I sat there a bloody mess, him completely and coherently describing what ‘happened’ as I sat there shocked and without words and shaking… or other times wreck the house and put holes in the walls then walk out the front door and have a completely normal friendly conversation on the street with the neighbor walking their dog…
You’re not alone.
The good news is that your partner agreed to couples counseling. It’s a start someplace. Stay in touch with the therapist for yourself.
As far as hearing the voices all day long and it’s that sudden, I’d get a little background from family (if he’s got it) and see if there’s a history of taking meds for anything undiscussed… because it sounds similar to people I’ve engaged with that were off their meds for about two weeks…

I am sorry to hear, I am here to listen to your story and pain.