DianeR, have you thought about applying for temporary guardianship to get past hippa?
Yup - I’m going to start looking into that. The doctor actually called me and gave me info so that I know what is going on. I am heading over there at noon today.
So glad to hear it, I hope he responds quickly to the meds once they are started.
The doctor told me that emergency guardianship is only for financial purposes. If the meds he is on now make him as good as he was today hopefully he’ll come around and let me work with him to get better.
Here in Texas guardianship comes in two parts. Medical (over person) and property (over assets). The support group people get temporary guardianship over person to have a seat at the table in regards to the medical treatment team.
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Yeah - I’m going to go call the people who helped me get the mental health hold. Thanks!
Good luck! As you know it can be so different from state to state and it does sound like they are keeping you in the information loop. I am so happy for you that it is going so well. Hope
I learned that the words “guardianship” and “conservatorship” mean different things in different states. I’m not sure if I understand, @DianeR, but there surely is a way for you to have guardianship (or whatever it is called in your state) for medical/personal affairs, separate from financial, somehow. Whether it would be awarded to you is another story. Or are you saying there is a public entity that takes that role on (medical), and they don’t give such control to individuals?
Is son already reliant on you financially? Is he able to work (provide his own support)? It can help if he needs you for support. He could be more willing to go along with some kind of treatment if there is no place for him to live otherwise. And if he is of danger to you, that is another story. Has he ever threatened you or anyone else? If yes, he cannot stay with you. If you can get a “guardianship”, in my state, you have control over where he lives. If he leaves, you can have him picked up. (Have not had to do that, fortunately.) I spoke with a mom who told me that her son still is mad at her for obtaining guardianship, but he is doing fairly well living in another part of the state. I tell my son (when he is coherent enough to have some idea) that guardianship does not have to be permanent. I WANT him to be independent, but it has to be in a healthy and safe way. This is not likely to be solved overnight, but we work toward the next step. Keep talking to people, reading and learning…you are doing a great job…I know this is incredibly hard!
Yes this whole thing has been incredibly hard. If I got medical guardianship that is only for illnesses and meds can not be enforced. His doctor is seeing if he can go to the half way house - which is the best thing for him. They could keep him there until his court date which is the end of May and he could then go and show the judge he is taking better care of himself. Then he’d come back and live with me until he gets it together or not.
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@DianeR I hope this doesn’t seem overly harsh, but the following questions were more or less addressed to me in recent months:
Do you think your son will be better by the end of May? Do you think a halfway house can help him acknowledge his illness, get him to take medication, and give him the tools he needs to have a life in spite of this illness, in 2 weeks? If not, how do you expect him to “get it together” if he has a mental illness, presumably SZ, since you are on this site? If you really want his situation to improve, living with you may not be the best thing to help him at this time.
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They are getting the meds court ordered tomorrow so I do think the half way house will help. I don’t think he’ll want to go back to the hospital if he doesn’t take them they would send him back to the hospital. It would be a way better option than coming home directly to live with me. They will make sure he takes his meds, set him up with a doctor and there is group therapy. He may just leave but I pray he gets this opportunity. I don’t expect him to get it together really (that would be a miracle). Living with me not a great option but it’s that or the streets. I know this may be the beginning of the cycling through the hospital but this is our best hope as of today : ) One stress ends and it seems the next one begins. What we need by the end of May is to show the judge he is trying to take better care of himself.
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Yes DianeR, this could definitely be a process that takes your son in and out of the hospitals, due to med noncompliance.
I’ve learned to never rush to get my son home. There’s a learning curve we all experience with this illness. We experience it, as do our children. Once things settle, we’re all in for the long haul.
Do stay hopeful, but know this will be an ongoing process, and I really hope injections can be an option for your son.
In my experience, it’s not just about his willingness to take the meds. It’s about him realizing they actually help him feel more normal and less freaked out. The only way he’ll be able to start to feel less freaked out will be if he’s on the meds for a while.
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I’m wishing the very best for you. A program like the half-way house could help, but if you let him come home, is there any other help for him…will he stay on meds? I’m only telling you this because multiple people told this to me, and in the end, when I told our son we’d love to have him at home but he couldn’t stay with us right now because it wasn’t in his best interest nor was it solving the problem, he chose another option that was offered to him and, thankfully, he is med-compliant and doing well there. We still have a long way to go and there are no guarantees, but I had to say “no” you can’t stay at home. I hope he completes the program and we will work on next steps as time goes on. I got a sweet Mother’s Day home-made card in the mail from him!!
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My family member lives at home with court ordered meds and doctor and nurse appointments. The court orders are the key.
When it was just up to the family, we could not do anything to help our family member except the basics of food, clothing, shelter, care, etc.
I think half way houses can be really good places if they are well managed, but there are not many of them where we live and they are very hard to get into, so I am hopeful, @DianeR that your son will get in.
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Thank you! It was a miracle that we got him approved to stay at the hospital through the weekend and the 1/2 way house has all his paperwork and will meet with him this week or on Monday (pray pray). His social worker said he will tell him it’s his only choice. He got his first shot of risperdal today. (a two week injection). It has been a rough rough few weeks. I fell apart for sure and hope to start putting myself back together.
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Good job! I know it’s hard putting all the pieces together. But you did it! I’m sure that once he gets settled at the half way house, he’ll be ok w being there. There will be other mi patients to interact with.
It’s hard not to feel sorry for him, but you–the sane one–have to act in his best interest.
Breathe.
It’s all going tone ok:rose:
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Thank you @Jan. When the court stuff got involved it got really difficult. His father literally kept him from ending up in jail and the looooong term state facility. I would not have known how to work the way through the court debacle. I can see how many people end up in jail when they don’t have advocates.
It’s so complicated. Needlessly so. I do feel badly for those who don’t have an advocate. I was that for my sz ex. Kept him from being arrested when the cops showed up at our door.
You are doing all the right things. I hope it all goes smoothly!
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You stated as if you were inside of my head. I am very afraid for him and a little for myself. As soon as I read your reply the tears just started pouring out. He has called the police on me a few times and they told me to leave. Wow. No help there. The mobile crisis came and checked on him and nothing else. Last summer his brother took him to emergency and they kept and watched him for 36 hours. Then nothing again. Since then the clinic where he was being seen said that he missed an appointment scheduled early in the morning which he never schedules early because it takes him all day to get ready. Then the clinic sent a letter saying they were not going to see him anymore. They didn’t do him justice I feel. They just kept prescribing meds with no lab work to check side effects or dosing etc.
Rochester NY. Not to discuss my problems but to make matters worse I have addison’s disease and I have a difficult time dealing with it physically and emotionally as well