Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

PsychCentral - Why Should I Forgive?


#1

We have all gotten hurt and the wounds can leave you feeling anger or bitter. So why should we forgive the person that hurt us the most? Forgiveness is to let go of resentment. To let go of revenge. To let go of the bitterness inside you. By forgiving, you can learn to find hope, peace and joy. You learn to let go of the tightness anger has on you and focus on positive parts and things in your life. Letting go and forgiving can make you feel happy and healthier. Forgiving does not mean excusing the act or minimizing the wrong. It means to let go of the anger, sadness and bitterness you have inside for the person. If you stay with the hurtful act and ruminate over it, it can fill you up with hostility and vengeance which can cloud up the positive feelings you have. It can destroy other relationships you may have, become depressed, or prevent you from enjoying the present because you focus too much on the wrong. Think about forgiveness as a way to change your life. It can take away the power the other person has in your life. It can help you to bring peace into your life.


#2

Rage and anger and bitter feelings created a fog over my logic.

Forgiveness is hard work… but when one can finally find peace with in… let go of the bitter taste of anger… then it’s easier to work for something better.

The 18 months of hell my very youngest brother put us through while he was falling apart was something that was very hard to forgive. I was pretty sure I would never forgive him… ever!

But trying to get past that… helping my youngest brother instead of just writing him off… I’m glad he and I could start to work through some that past anger. I’m proud of his better days… ( people didn’t write me off when I was at my worst… It’s time to repay that.)

It didn’t happen all in one go… I think that’s what was hard to realize… it’s not erased all in one swipe… it takes work. inch by inch sort of thing.

I admit… some days my youngest brother falls back in to some non- med compliant behavior… (manic swings and the depressions) and I ticks me off all over again. But I’m glad I got help in not writing him off.

When I got over how mad he made me… it helped the fog clear and I could see finally just how bad off he was. He really was headed for jail or suicide.

I haven’t excused his past behavior. But I have tried not to be as angry about it. Letting go of the pure anger of it… I feel helped me help him.