Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Repeat of last year

It is the same nightmare as last year. I live in my deceased parents house and my fiance moved here with me. Shortly after my brother is separated from his wife and has a right to stay here also. It was ok in the beginning but after 6 months I have been to contend with. One with SZ and the other has anger management issues due to PTSD.
My fiance stays upstairs and sits in his room almost all day smoking and talking nonstop to himself and his voices. He has all of his windows open and a fan blowing freezing cold air into the house. Last week I made a terrible mistake. I let him take my car to Walmart. His car is not inspected and his dash is all apart. 1 hour later he called me saying he smelled gas while he was here and he called 911 then he called me to tell me he was driving to Florida to see my friend who I’m not even sure if she still lives there, then he turned his phone off. I had firetrucks, gas company etc to deal with. Our furnace and water heater are only a few years old. The police have been here numerous times. Not enough for a MH arrest. Well he had my car from 720pm till 730 am when I received a call from our local police saying he was sitting in my car mumbling to himself after he called the police to ask them wht they didn’t call him and let him know it was safe for him to come back. Well he came back and had his car towed to his storage room (he has towing on his car but didn’t remember) then started walking around in the freezing cold. I found him and told him to get in the car at 2am. He then told me that I left him out in the freezing cold. He only eats food that isn’t open or in cans. He listens to music especially very late at nite, most of it isnt music, cant describe it. It was on till 3 am this morning and while the music is on he has to talk and scream over it and to the music videos at the same time. Once again no help from his family. I have tried so many times to get them to help me with him and their reply…there is nothing we can do. His brother who used to be close to said he doesnt care if he dropped dead! So I guess I wont be asking/pleading with them anytime soon or ever

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My advice—get in that car and leave immediately or the next time he leaves, put his stuff outside and change the locks. Are you seriously thinking about signing up for a lifetime of taking care of this man? If so, why in God’s name?
!!! I’m sure you love him but you will sacrifice your life and your own sanity. Break free. His family is right. There is nothing you can do for him, but you can save yourself.

Yeahhhhh… I always say Love Wins but all the facts point to a pretty sucky life - by choice. Most of us caregiver parents don’t have an option to abandon our children. But you are engaged to a seemingly unstable man whose own family has abandoned him - likely for their own principled reasons.

You obviously have a huge heart. But perhaps, perhaps…perhaps- you are intentionally choosing a path in life (staying in this and marrying your fiancé) that should probably be avoided. Either way, I know it sucks and can identify with the situation.

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