Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Should I let her go?


I’m sure many of you have experienced what it’s like when they go through the negative symptoms. My fiancée refers to this as the “down” time.

My fiancée has been experiencing this for a few months now with no relief. Her family has tried an intervention, but I wasn’t surprised at all when she told me it didn’t work. She refuses therapy and her depression has increased since her pills have dramatically increased her weight (she was bulemic before the onset).

What worries me is the violence. She’s not hurting any other living creature (I don’t think she would take it to anyone else), but she’s been struggling to quit self-harming. Lately, she’s given up trying to quit and has expressed to me that her thoughts are more and more violent. She knows I’m squimish, so she won’t reveal the details, but I can tell she’s even scaring herself. She knows it’s not normal and thinks it’ll keep getting worse.

I told her many times that seeking help would be best, but she still refuses to try (the lethargy/apathy of negative symptoms?). I live in a different country so I can’t drive her myself. Last night she called at 3am and told me that she doesn’t think it’s a smart thing for me to stay in this relationship anymore. She said in the future she doesn’t want to make me wake up at 3am to soak up puddles of blood. Honestly, it doesn’t sound appealing to me either, but I can’t bring myself to leave her.

We’ve been together for almost 10 years now. I’ve dealt with multiple personalities, suicide attempts, drug addictions, and multiple breakups from her. I just don’t know whether it’s smart to go or stick it out.


Disregarding your decision of letting go or not, please get her in hospital, even if involuntary!
Claim she is causing self harm.


I think you’ve been through a lot, but I also think that she needs to be hospitalized for a few months so that she can be in a better mental and emotional state. Afterwards you’ll see if you can stay in this relationship or not while she’s medicated. She gets a say in the decision too.


She’s actually refusing to be hospitalized (her family tried once recently) because if she does she will lose her funding for her online college program and be dropped out of the school. Trying to get a job is one of the only things she’s doing that’s making her feel worthwhile, so she’s fighting to keep that.

As an update, I talked to her yesterday (the day after her suggestion to leave) and she sounded as chipper and happy as always as if that night never even happened. I was really confused but I didn’t want to ask about it and risk triggering anything. Do many people with sz do this?


Any suggestions on how to do this internationally is welcome.


I understand. They do, she could also be Bipolar (Schizoaffective).


Yes, she actually is schizoaffective, sorry I didn’t think to mention that earlier.


That’s okay, so is my fiancé. I’m used to saying schizophrenic too.


Sarcosine works great for negative symptoms. I can see muy daughter go from a total recluse to a lot of talking in less than 10 days