I am feeling pretty low. My now ex boyfriend has psychosis and decided to stop taking his meds about 4 months ago.
Over time he became more and more angry. He would fight with his co workers and was constantly walking out of jobs.
He also got angry with his family if they didn’t text him back soon enough.
Then he started to get angry with me. Constantly accusing me of not loving him, cheating on him with any man that I would speak to- from taxi drivers to our painter/decorator.
He then started heavily drinking and would accuse me of being a whore and say that I was tricking him and the relationship was a lie.
He also was constantly telling me that i had a mental illness and would diagnose me with various things.
Eventually after a heavy drinking session, he became very angry and I had to ask him to leave.
I really love him and wish I could be with him but it’s so hard to go through life with someone being suspicious of everything you do and the anger was really getting me down.
He fully believes that I have done all these bad things to him, he’s now saying that he can never forget all the bad times and how I belittled his fathers death, none of this is true.
It’s so hard and I feel so alone.
It feels like such a waste to have to end a relationship with someone you really love for reasons that are all in his head.
I just don’t know where to go from here and I feel so alone.
Hi Erin, Welcome to this site. It is a good place to come when you are having to deal with a loved one’s psychosis. I am sorry you are going through a breakup right before the holidays, that is the time when hopes are high, and so I’m sure you feel let down. My best advice is to please understand that this isn’t your fault. Even though the reasons for the break up are all in his head, the fact is that those reasons are very, very real to him. Be good to yourself as you get through this hard time alone.
Hi Erin,
Please keep in mind (as oldladyblue said) that you have no control over the situation. You have done your best, staying with him despite all the conflict and anger.
I would urge you to find a therapist who specializes in mental illness and explain what happened with your boyfriend. No matter how strong some of us are, words can hurt and it sounds like his words have hurt you a lot. A properly trained therapist will be able to help you look past the pain and frustration to a better future.
Of course you care about him and it is natural that you feel alone and don’t know where to go. I have been in a similar situation with my husband and am caring for an elderly relative now, so that occupies my attention.
If you are still in touch with him, let him know you care about him. That is the most you can do. You need to take care of yourself.
Very good advice. Take care of you, you are not at fault. Its tough and take time to love yourself.