Thanks Always Hopeful! Yesterday my son said thank you mom for all you do to help me, I know what you mean when you say how much their appreciation means to us. If they had to be struck with this horrible illness we are fortunate enough to be able to take care of them. Happy Mothers Day to you!
I’m at work my son want to work I’m actually feeling well. Everyday worries of that night but striving for a clearer and stronger mindset.
Much love for everyone today hope to hear from yal
Was your son in bad shape? I’m looking for some hope. My son is in pretty bad shape and today they’ll decide if he goes to the bigger hospital or a rehab 1/2 house. I’m hopeful he can get better but concerned about going to an open hospital where they won’t give him as good of care.
My son likes to work as well. If he does a couple of hours every week or so, it seems to work.
It doesn’t seem as if he was as bad as some of the stories I see on the forum. He had a second psychotic episode a year and a half after his first (was put on meds and psych care then) and injured me pretty badly with a knife. Voices and hallucinations told him to do it, I think. He spent a year in jail with minimal meds and no psych help, then got an NGRI plea and was committed to the forensic unit at the state hospital. Meds have always worked for him, and having routines and low stress, and he is actually getting therapeutic care. The difference in him astounds me.
@WAmac Well, I would say that injuring you with a knife is pretty bad! Unfortunately, I have been told many times that a person with this kind of MI may have to get to the bottom of the barrel before they start to realize the help that they need, or be in a position where they can get it, even if they are still not compliant. We all know that our jails and prisons are often not set up to help persons with MI. But at least, after a time, your son finally got the help he needs at a state hospital. I have been told that this can be a good route, albeit seems hard at first. I have a friend whose son, now in his 40’s, has been in prison awaiting trial for a non-violent (but likely illness-related) act, but was finally released to go to a mental hospital where hopefully, he can get the help he needs. I’m glad your son is doing so much better!!
I am puzzled by my loved one’s sudden change in communication. He has unfriended me on facebook. He will not respond to email or messages. He has suddenly shut me out after 31 years. I wonder if his illness is not responding to his medication?
When was the last time he saw you in person? One of the social workers told me that if a person with sz doesn’t see a person even after one day they may not think you are who you are. It seems very odd however after 31 years!
I had an interesting interaction today. Let me first explain that one of the things I like to do with a little free time is to garden. And I love irises, which are in glorious bloom right now. I have quite a few planted at my son’s house, and they are just exploding! So I have been cutting some every day and handing them out to neighbors there.
Today a neighbor I have never spoken with waved at me to say hello, and I went over to chat - an older gentleman. He introduced himself, told me his wife’s name, and mentioned she doesn’t like to go out much. I explained that my son lives in the house, not me, and that he doesn’t go out much either. I offered to cut some flowers for her too. He hesitated, then said yes.
When I came back with a bunch of yellow and purple blooms, he lowered his voice a bit and said, ‘Just so you know, my wife is on disability, she has paranoid schizophrenia.’ Well! You might guess I was able to tell him I understand completely!
He called her to the door, she came hesitantly, and took the flowers from her husband. I just said, hello, enjoy the flowers, it was nice to meet you! I know better than to force social interaction.
Just felt GOOD to have someone open up about his family member. I suspect another neighbor might have told him about my son already. So glad we could just share that bit of understanding.
Vallpen, that was a really nice story for you to share. This is such a lonely illness for all of us. It must have felt really good to have that connection.
My son takes like 3 showers a day, but I’m not sure if he’s using soap or washing his hair because his hair is greasy. I’ll remind him hey did you use shampoo and also sometimes knock on the door and say" hey put some shampoo in your hair… don’t forget". He however does not brush his teeth at all and only when I insist. This happens usually when I’m talking to him and see how dirty his teeth are and then I beg him to please go brush his teeth as he doesn’t want his teeth falling out and rotting and sometimes he will and sometimes he won’t. His sleep patterns are way off and he has horrible delusions but is in such denial when I ask him who he is talking to. He gets a Risperdal shot every two weeks but I am not sure that it is even working. He is quite delusional and talks a lot to himself or the voices in his head. He’s always wanting to go to the mall and be dropped off and he just walks around the mall for hours. I ask him what he’s does at the mall and he saying he’s trying to find friends… Its just so sad and heartbreaking as I am Ali has. I worry about how people react to him at the mall because he does have signs of mental illness. He is constantly talking to himself and mumbling and just seems very lost. Sorry for the rambling…everyday I pray for him and for all your family members as well.
Beckys95, I found I could be more effective talking to my son after I read Dr Amador’s book. I am sorry you aren’t getting better responses with the risperdol injection.
There is a pretty good chance that your son is not denying the voices to be difficult. Even medicated, the symptom anosognosia makes it impossible for them to realize they are ill. It’s not always denial, this symptom is found in 60% of the people who have scz
I know that days when we feel overwhelmed are awful. Can you treat yourself to something you like to do?
Hi beckys95. Our sons sound similar. Hygiene and grooming are ongoing challenges. To maintain these things, I dangle carrots (“If you take a shower, use shampoo, and brush your teeth, you’ll get …”). I know it sounds like a terrible way to have to treat a 21 year old, but it’s our reality. It’s what we have to do to make him tolerable to live with and to bring him in public.
I’m my son’s best friend too.
We’re at the maximum injection dose of Invega Sustenna. I’m hoping with time…?
Can you increase the dosage your son is on? That might help?
Hi day-by-day, My 23 year old son showers about every 4 days, I used to bug him to take a shower more often and he would complain that I was pressuring him, so now I don’t mention anything about it and he’ll suddenly say,“oh I need to take a shower today” and I will be like, “Whew, finally”. I am also my son’s best friend, lot’s of responsibility.
I’ve come to think that a shower/shampoo every 4 days is good enough. I guess it’s that whole “new normal” thing again.
I’m having a bad day today, trying to understand if it’s sadness I’m witnessing or just a bad cycle in my son’s illness. He’s been lethargic, whispering, and often non-responsive for over 24 hours. He’s been kind, but he just looks so sad. When I ask him if he’s sad, he does say no. I hope it’s true. I just don’t know.
And the doors always have to be locked. I guess that says it all.
Hi day by day, I very often think my son looks sad, it is so hard to believe they are not sad with their limited life. My son also has to check that the doors to the outside are locked many times a day. He has been saying he is so tired all the time and he is not going out much, except to run a few errands with me. Just the usual “new normal”. I did suggest to my son to take a shower today as it has been 4 days and he is really smelling bad, he said he will take one tomorrow, I really hope so.
Hi Irene. I was thinking about what you said a couple of weeks ago, about how it upsets you that your son doesn’t want to open windows or curtains to let fresh air or light in.
My son is the same, but I’ve come to realize it’s all about paranoia, rather than lack of interest or motivation. My son is afraid someone will come through the window if it’s unlocked, or he will be “sniped” if he’s visible through a window.
Maybe it’s the same for your son?
Yes ,he is afraid someone will look thru the window at him if he opens the blinds which is the paranoia, he says he is afraid also that someone will steal his stuff, he also has been afraid that the delivery person is going to poison his food. When he says this stuff I say that is an irrational fear and he usually will agree but I can tell he is still paranoid.
So, unfortunately, it looks like both of our boys are willing to take meds, but they are also both med resistant. It just sucks.
Yes, it sure does, we have to try and stay strong, what a wicked disease.