Tell us how you are today?


Diane R, Rhank you so much. I receive notice through email, but so not see my own. Have a peaceful day.


I’m so angry. I’m seething right now.

A 23 year old man from Newton, MA, Matthew Muradov, is being charged with intent to murder, after stabbing another man at a supermarket. It sounds like Matthew was clearly paranoid that the other man was “after him”. It sounds like Matthew was clearly still acutely psychotic, even after being released from Newton-Wellesley Hospital 3 days ago. According to his parents, the insurance ran out.

That poor family. That poor boy.

The person who was stabbed is a doctor. He is OK and back to work. His public statement was in support of providing appropriate care, not releasing ill patients before they are ready.

The response from Matthew’s parents? “We just want him to get the care he needs.”

No kidding. We all do. Laws need to change.


This makes me feel sick. This could be my son, this could be any of our family members.


Here in Denver they are talking about a new homeless shelter. Seems like if we just had more beds for those with MI we wouldn’t need as many homeless shelters.


Thanks AnnieNorCal, knowing I have this site is very comforting, hope one day I can help others by giving them advise on how my son stopped hearing voices and socially isolating, etc . Not there yet. Hope your son is doing good.


Hi Day to Day, My son just sits most of the day ,everyday also. We are going on three years of this, the last couple of days he has been irritable and seems to be slipping more into his own private world. I think the voices have been bad for him the last couple days, I am so tuned in to his moods that I can tell something is going on. He has been taking his Zyprexa, but I am thinking it may not be working anymore. We go to the phsyciatrist next week which is good. My son seems like he is getting paranoid of me, as he is off everyone else lately. I hate this disease!


There’s a Blue Moon coming on Saturday. I’m not looking forward to the next couple days, based on these last couple of days.


Good to know. My son has actually emerged from his room yesterday to ask me to use my car. Ha! He’s on judges orders - no driving. I told him no way! He told me he’d find my keys and I said I’d call the cops. He said I didn’t have to be a bitch about it. Sigh. Car is safely locked in the garage and I have my keys : ) Eventhough I wouldn’t want the cops involved if he took my car I would have to tell them.


This is so sweet it brings tears to my eyes and it brings hope for such a day for us.


@Cerium…You have been through a lot and moved forward in spite of your losses. It’s understandable that you would be lonely. I can’t even imagine but know of another mom with us whose husband passed not long ago. Stay encouraged as you take one day at a time. I hope you will be able to engage in some social activity eventually. You are an encouragement to me and to others!


I know that feeling. It’s good to cry sometimes


I was in that situation for quite a while. It was horrible and heartbreaking but undeniable. But he ‘came back’ eventually in my case, after quite a long time on meds.


@hopeforus. Thanks for your kind words. All we have is each day, st least that’s how I see life. At Holidays I miss my husband the most. At Easter, I still make the dinner, and it’s just me and my daughter. I know she won’t go out and I don’t have family here. I still keep the tradition going for her, even if she doesn’t participate. Probably many of us here are in the same situation with our kids. We just keep going through the motions.


Hii Alwayshopeful, Hope you had a nice Easter. It is good you keep up the family traditions for your daughter. Did she sit with you to eat? My son sat with me for a few minutes to eat this year and we said a prayer, It was so nice. We had our dinner alone at his apartment as he is not comfortable with his siblings right now. His 23rd birthday is in May so I am hoping we can have a little party for him. As of right now he says absolutely not, but I will keep trying.


@Irene, sounds like your Easter was very nice. How lovely your son sat, ste and prayed with you. Mynholiday was ok. Unit is a time when I miss my husband the most. My daughter, dog and I were here. She said she did not feel like eating with Me, so it was the dog and I. I a. Used to that now. The not so new normal, so I get it now better than ever
Thanks you for asking. Stay hopeful.


I made a special turkey dinner hoping that would allure my son out of his room to eat with me. He did not join me but since then he has had plenty of leftovers (including cranberry sauce with sarcosine : ) Maybe next time. I keep thinking the hot fresh food will pull him out of his room to sit with me at least for a minute. I’ve tried pizza, which did not work either, but may have to try that one again. @irene - Glad you got a minute! @Cerium - Yes it’s usually the cat and myself. I have a BF so spend a lot of time with him at his place too. (So I don’t have it too bad : )


@Diane R, it is good we can have a laugh at ourselves! My daughter did eat one dish I made, but not with me. She says she wants to eat alone. I am so thankful for the dog, at least! He brings joy! In all honesty, I am used to my daughter now and accept her and the schizophrenia. It has taken years, but to do otherwise, for me, results in pain.

Have a peaceful day.


An update - my son handled my trip out of town pretty well. He didn’t communicate much with me, but he didn’t do anything destructive, or seem to have any extreme psychosis.

I left paper plates, and I left lots of prepared food, and also sealed the containers with packing tape to reduce his anxiety of it getting tampered with by “them”. He threw away trash, and put dirty silverware and containers in the sink.

I made sure to bring him a hoodie sweatshirt from the university where the class was being held, and he was wearing it yesterday, so he was clearly pleased with it.

He did tell me yesterday to please not bring my dog to stay in the afternoon today after her grooming - typically I drop her off at his house for a visit. He was anxious about what “they” might cause him to do. When I was talking with him about it, he was in his bed, and I realized that I could only describe his facial expression as appearing ‘haunted’. I’m sure its exhausting to live with the things going on in his head.Left me feeling very sad.


@Vallpen - Glad to hear your trip to Stanford went well and your son did pretty well (sounds like). I leave tons of food for my son but I think he thinks I may be poisoning him (still). He will eat some of the food - like a big turkey dinner with mashed potatoes I made the other day. (not with me)

Sorry to hear about the haunting look. I know it is very distressing. My son looks a mess. I am able to at times see him through his bedroom doors (french that he covers with sheets). He looks like that guy who shot the people at a movie theater in Denver. Crazy hair and unkept (showers). I do not, however, think he is interested in destroying others. He’s usually watching Laugh TV and laughing. I think he is recovering from previous episodes and use of Spice. Today I realized - maybe his razor is broken.

I have an upcoming trip and I am anxious about leaving him (for 7 days) but his father will check in on him and I’ll leave him a lot of food. We’ll see what happens!


@DianeR and @Vallpen, it is great that both of you have the courage to go away and leave your children alone. I am fearful to leave my daughter. I would love to visit my grandchildren in Miami, but and fearful. I think many of our kids look like that guy from Aurora. My daughter made me laugh a little.

As far as food and beverages, my daughter will usually only eat foods that I buy prepared outside of the home. This can be both expensive and time consuming, but it is all she asks of me. It is what it is today. My gratitude comes from knowing she is safe, and not hospitalized or incarcerated.

Currently, I am reading that book by Jaffa, Insane Consequences. It is excellent.

Always hopeful