Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

The fallout of my life


#1

Well as some of you are aware I had to ask my husband to leave bc the tension between him and my son has gotten dangerous. So the Monday bf thanksgiving I asked him to leave.
My son is on disability and I’m unable to work and waiting on my disability to be approved for almost 2 years. At this point in time I have no income and less than 200 in checking!
I had discussed it with my son about moving in with me and us living off his ssi/ssa just until mine came through.
He told me today that he decided he didn’t want to do that bc he would lose his privacy and friends and that when he has his psychotic breaks that he is liable to punch holes in my house and throw things to break and if something hits me then I will just have to get over it. That scared me!
So now I’ve just said for him to stay at his house and I will figure something out. I was only trying to make it easier for us both.
Then I have my husband come in to get more stuff. I can’t tell what he is taking out of the house! He has got his own reloadable card now and is no longer putting money in our acct even though I know he is working for cash!!
I’m so scared of how I’m going to make this work! I’ve talked to my disability lawyer and legal aide for assistance. I’m afraid he is going to try to get some of my back pay from disability and that is all I will have to live on till I get regular social security.
How can people be so mean and how can I fight back when it’s just not my character?
I can’t pay my house payment or utilities this month and I need to get a lawyer soon and cheap.
I hate it has come to this but every time I see my husband I remember why I ask him to leave in the first place!! But then there’s my son who has bpd and sz who wanted him to leave in the first place but now doesn’t want to help me.
Ugh! I’m so depressed!!


#2

Maybe call your local social services for help too? They may know about some services that the other places don’t know about.

I had a friend who was hurt on the job and got emergency help until his worker’s comp came through. I don’t know everything, but they did get food stamps.

A friend of my husband’s got really behind in her rent and her mother helped her find some type of charity that caught it up for her as a one-time kind of assistance.

Most utility companies also have assistance for people who can’t pay their bill.

My work pushes United Way down our throats, so I like to tell people to turn to them since they make so many promises when they ask for donations. Most areas now have a central line where you can call and ask for help. If they don’t have anything for you, the worst thing they can do is say no.

I’d be very surprised if your husband can get any of your backpay. From what I understand, any type of social security is protected from everything except for child support. However, if you put it in a joint account, it would be very hard to get anything back from him if he took some of it, so you might want to get a separate account now.

I really hope everything works out, and I think in the long run, it will.


#3

Thank you for the advice @slw! I will definitely look into those things. I’ll keep you updated.


#4

Some people are just cruel and dirty, so when it comes to them potentially ruining your life like this divorce, you too must play their game with cunningness and wit and as much backlash. If he wants to take money from your disability and he’s working, guess what? You’re also entitled to alimony. Also, never be dependent on your son. I don’t think you can trust or be dependent on anyone who is so sick that cannot take care of themselves, unless they’re rich and have specifically stated they want you to live together with them and maintain you.

http://www.specialneedsalliance.org/when-people-with-disabilities-divorce/

Since SSI is a needs-based program, an individual’s benefits may actually increase upon divorce,depending upon the division of property and alimony payments. SSI payments cannot be garnished for the purpose of alimony or child support.

http://family.findlaw.com/divorce/questionnaire-are-you-entitled-to-alimony-spousal-support.html


#5

Thank you for your insight and links! And you are absolutely right! I can’t and shouldn’t depend on my son! He has to depend on me! And I’m going to do my level best to step up to the plate and fight for us and our future no matter how out of character it is for me! It’s obvious my husband is making sure HE is taken care of! Thanks again!


#6

Anytime, I wish you well in your fight and journey these next few months. :hamster:


#7

Well I just called to try to get on Medicaid or some type of assistance for my migraines so I can go to dr. Denied Medicaid. And the great and wonderful Obamacare said I qualified for bcbs for $608/mth!! What the crap!! I have no money and can’t work!! Idk! I can’t live with these migraines without my meds or going to get shot! This is crazy and really stressing me out!!


#8

Some churches here run free clinics for people that need help. Maybe they have something in your area?

It would at least get you the prescription, then maybe they would also help you with the prescription assistance that some drug companies offer?

I couldn’t take the migraines without meds either.


#9

I called united way and they shut me down quick! All they did was give me a number for a low cost no cost clinic but said they probably couldn’t help me with what I needed for my migraines. I’m so frustrated!!


#10

Those A-holes. I’ll remember this next year when they have their hand out.
I like to tell them that they’ve absolutely never helped anyone I know who’s needed help.

I’d still check with the low cost/no cost clinic - they could at least get you a script.


#11

Thanks @slw I will call around and see. My church has helped us with rent and utilities but now that I’m getting a divorce, I’m no longer going there bc they feel I’m doing wrong by choosing my disabled son over my husband! I should never been put in that position where I had to choose! But I was and I believe it is the right decision! I haven’t been going to my new church long enough to feel comfortable asking them. But I will call around to other churches. Thanks for being here!