Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Update on my husband


#1

Hi friends.

I feel like good things are happening. For the last 3-4 days my brother in law has told me that my husband seems very normal. His whole family agrees- no more writing backward, no more out of touch with reality, no more anger. The only thing that has changed is that he has not been using cocaine. I’m thinking that perhaps this was drug induced psychosis. The next few days should tell.

Two days ago I called him and told him I didn’t need an answer now but that I wanted to salvage our marriage. Instead of anger, he seemed kind. He told me that he loved me when he hung up. The past two nights he has called and has not left a message. I’m waiting for him to leave a message or text me in case it’s about getting his things or more anger on his part. I’m praying that God’s will be done, and trying to leave it to God.

I am hopeful for him, and trying to have faith in God’s will for us. I know he has looked at renting a house. I don’t know. It is true that no matter what this house and my ex husband across the street is a trigger. I’m trying not to get my hopes up but to have faith.

Any prayers or good thoughts would be appreciated. I don’t know if it is appropriate to say this, but I’m praying that God will either give me acceptance and peace and I will know he has a different plan for me, or that God will work in our lives to reconcile and fix all that has happened… including an agreed upon plan for other episodes. I hope I have the strength to see this through either way it falls.

Thank you all.


#2

Psychosis and schizophrenia frequently ebb and flow over time - with the symptoms getting worse during more stressful times, and lesser when times are less stressful, or more calm. Also - street drugs are known to make things worse for people (though they may make them feel better in the short term) - so yes, you are right, the cocaine likely has played a significant and perhaps key role in the psychosis.

These things take time - so don’t get too optimistic in the short term. It will likely be months or longer to really figure out what the issue is, and whatever the case - he likely needs help from a psychologist to get over the issues that are causing him to abuse / use drugs.

Be careful, cautious and encouraging with your husband. Take care of yourself in the mean time.

Best wishes.


#3

Well, I guess I was optimistic for no reason. He bought a scooter and is getting an apartment. He tells his family (and me) that he just doesn’t know if we will stay together/get back together because he thinks I am lying (delusions). He loves me and I have heartbroken him with my “lies”. I’d even admit to them to get us talking if they weren’t so preposterous. I wish there was something, ANYTHING, I could do to just start talking and working on things. His brother has told him I haven’t lied but of course, being delusions, it doesn’t change anything.

I feel so helpless. My marriage really is going down the tubes and I can’t stop it. I told him he needed to think and I would not contact him for a week. It’s so weird for me to wrap my brain around. I keep saying to him “let’s talk” or “let’s go to counseling”, etc as if this is a normal marriage breakdown. Then I realize I can’t reason with him. I just don’t understand why the delusions about me are persisting. I don’t understand how there is nothing I can do. He’s not a danger to himself or others at this point… he’s doing so much better. Consensus is that he is drug free.

There has to be SOMETHING I can do. I am praying, but even that feels hopeless. I just don’t know how to deal with this. It’s devastating to consider washing my hands of him and totally losing my husband. The last 7 weeks have been the worst of my life… and his. I just don’t see a way out of this.
I don’t see treatment happening. I’m lonely! I want my husband back!