You know what - my son is 28 as of last week.
He struggled growing up with shyness & other things, although I wonder if he wasn’t starting to have mental health problems when he got really socially anxious around 3rd grade - about 8 I guess.
He had 3 breaks as a teenager, then held it together until he was around 26 and his meds quit working for him.
He did kind of the same thing - every perceived slight or bad think we’d ever done to him, or anyone else had done to him, was constantly brought up. And, he did get violent with his dad a few times, but not to the extent you’re talking about, and they kind of charged each other like raging bulls, so I blame them both.
On the Invega Sustenna, he was better, but he’d still get very upset about things depending on whether or not he was sleeping, or what tone of voice someone used.
He’s much more even on Clozapine, even though we’re not even 2 months into it. Some people do great on the Invega too, so I’m not recommending a specific drug, only saying that there is hope for him.
(we’ve also lived in relatively nice places, made sure he had anything he wanted that we could get for him, would take his friends (when he had them) everywhere with us. I won’t say he was spoiled, because I don’t think he ever had that feeling of entitlement that some people get, but he had all the advantages of being an only child. However, we did fight like cats & dogs around him at times & he hated it - with good reason. )