Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

What do you do with the guilt?

I lost my temper with my bf 1 month ago. I really let him have it. I made him move out. Now I feel bad. He has shut me out. Totally ignoring me. He said I hurt him and he needs time alone. His mother told me I have never accepted him for who he is. That I’m trying to change him.

I just wonder if anyone out there has lost their temper? Yelled at them? What do you do about it? I just had enough of his using pills. I was tired of him being high for a couple days then passed out in bed fir a week when he comes down.

You do not have to put up with this. You have value and you do not have to settle. You did the right thing. You want a partner, a relationship, not to be his caregiver. He will find his way.

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Thank you. I’m thinking this needs to be the end. This has happened so many times with him. We’ve been together 11 years. Off and on because he can’t/wont remain stable. He is constantly going off and on medication. He will go off and start taking vitamins. Claiming they are helping and he doesn’t need meds. But it always ends with him freaking out, hallucinating that I’m sneaking men in the house at night and cheating on him. Or hearing things in my attic and getting scared. He would start not sleeping at all. Going out at all hours of the night driving around. Visiting his old haunts where he smoked crack. He would get very secretive and not tell me anything.

Many nights he would come in my room and sleep on the floor because he was scared. He became convinced my house was haunted and he was hearing ghosts. We slept in separate rooms because he stayed up all night playing video games or playing this awful music on his phone. The music is these HEAVY LOUD bass beats with fast ticking music in the background (I hate it). Recently he had confessed to me about his voices. They talk to him all the time. He said especially when he’s driving and they get mean, yelling at him. So he plays the bass music in his truck so loud hes going def and I assume he’s trying to drown them out.

I hope I can be strong when he comes around in a month or two like he always does. My house has been so peaceful since he’s been gone.

I would end the relationship and never look back. My brother was a disaster when he was in his 20’s and 30’s. He had girlfriends, but he could never keep them. He used drugs, played loud music and screamed in the hallways of his apartment building until they kicked him out. He would have NEVER been a good boyfriend. It is just hard to have a relationship when someone is ill. Put your self first.

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My bf’s father enables him. He has 2 younger brothers. One lives in a trailer on his father’s property. He is a mean drunk and the father is scared of him. The other youngest brother lives in their father’s old house. He was forcefully committed a month ago by the father and my bf. He got out and back to smoking pot not taking meds. That’s where my bf is staying right now.

The father has put the house up for sale. I dont know where my bf will live when it sells. I fear he will come back to my house. He cant work and gets $700/month in disability. He has taken out so many credit card loans. He owes probably $10,000+.

@susan031367 this sounds like my story with my love one taking vitamins to treat the illness. I don’t know how you deal with this for so long. This is heartbreaking.