Does he have a pdoc? Can you talk tohis doc and say meds don’t work. Or that he isn’t taking them. He could get a shot instead.
Yes, we can. We can do whatever we want because of the illness. It’s why your dad cheats and why he treats you bad.
But it is the alien vampires. You’re just too caught up in being offensive to notice.
I participated in a couple topics and there were people listening to vampire and alien advices and other creeps encouraging to do so. Let them have fun with their voices. I would punch someone in the noise if they would say that to my dad!
That’s why I said no crap like that for my question please.
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When I was ill I was very egoistic if you want to see it that way. I did not care about my family. My husband or kids. My mind was occupied by voices and troll biting my legs. I was very self centered. But I was not mean to them. They just wasn’t there, in my concious mind. They visited me at hospital sometimes. But in the beginning, I did not remember that. I didn’t remember anything but my delusions and hallucinations.
Maybe your dad is realizing something is wrong but can’t put a finger on it. Some ppl react with violence, anger or hate when they are anxious.
Yeah that makes some sense to me. Thanks @Comatose
So sorry that has happened, my son does the same to me.I feel I have to make the right decision for me…Verbal abuse is a terrible thing its scary and it affects everyone…I wish I had the answers for you and me…
It’s possible he’s not getting the right treatment. I hear everyone saying there’s no excuse for cheating and abusing you all verbally. But maybe there is mitigation. If he has psychotic bipolar disorder, which apparently often gets diagnosed as sz, he could be prone to impulsive decisions, promiscuity, grandiosity. That’s what it sounds like. He may benefit from different meds. In reality there isn’t a strict line between any of these labels. People have a range of different symptoms. I think I would take the kinder route before the “kick him out” route. Still, your mom would have a lot to forgive.
I’m sorry your Dad is fighting this, and I’m sorry your family is being torn apart. I do sympathize with your Mom. There is no way this doesn’t hurt.
I hope you don’t mind me saying that the promiscuity and the impulsive decisions are some of the top symptoms of a manic phase. Irritability, risky and promiscuous behavior are sort of top of the charts.
That doesn’t make it easier for your Mom. Parameters and boundaries can be set. Your Mom has every right to stand up to your Dad. But she just might need some ideas on how to do that.
There have been some dark times with my brother while growing up, and when he was in the thick of his psychosis I do believe he didn’t really understand the effect he was having on us. When he got stable, then he started to try and make amends.
I do believe he had an idea as to what he was doing at time, but it didn’t really register as to how badly it hurt the people around him. My brother has mentioned that sometimes he didn’t feel in control of his own body. His body was running amok without his brains permission. Again, this was in the deeps of a break. This is not my brothers normal functioning.
One thing that also helped was family therapy. The third party was able to be a bit more detached and find that middle ground and get through to my brother and give us some insight into this illness.
I could imagine you and your family has tried to start the conversation. It’s not always easy. There is a lot of pain involved and it’s hard to separate the pain from the conversation.
But there are some ideas that might help start that dialogue: (I got these from the member named BarbieBf. She has some great ideas and many resources.)
http://www.leapinstitute.org/ - under resources are free videos on using LEAP
LEAP is a way of communicating to build trust. Listen-Empathize-Agree-Partner.
http://dramador.com/ - Dr. Xavier Amador is a clinical psychologist whose brother had schizophrenia. He is the founder of the LEAP Institute. Wrote the book: I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help! Can buy from his website.
Search Xavier Amador and LEAP on youtube.com and you should find some long videos
Treatment Advocacy Center - under problems you will see anosognosia
Anosognosia looks like denial but is different.
Bayes for Schizophrenics: Reasoning in Delusional Disorders - LessWrong -
http://www.nami.org/ - National Alliance on Mental Illness.
http://www.schizophrenia.ca/ - Schizophrenia Society of Canada
Can also find some very useful information here:
I do hope you get to sit down and calmly let your Dad know that he is hurting your Mom and you and that things can change. I also hope the best for you.
Thank you for letting me post.
I believe this also. I don’t think he wants to hurt but then he does.
no of course not, an episode is the psychosis and anger and cruelty etc…
even in psychosis and i have chronic psychosis…i still have a moral compass, but that is just me.
take care
p.s i think your dad was thinking with his ’ other brain ', and using his illness as an excuse, which in my opinion is a cop out and a weak thing to do.
There are a whole lot of reasons why someone is abusive to another person, mental illness is one factor some may have, but then again there are plenty of people who have a sz diagnoses and aren’t verbally abusive or cheaters. Does your dad still behave abusively when his symptoms are well controlled???
I came out of an emotionally, verbally abusive relationship. Sometimes my daughter mimics some this abusive behavior she was modeled for so long, her illness compounds this problem-but does not create it or excuse it. And I do not tolerate it! If I tolerate it then I am not teaching her about boundaries, I am not teaching her to respect them or create them for herself. Would your family do family therapy (please excuse if you addressed this question already?) At the VERY least, your mom should get counseling for herself by herself with someone specializing in trauma or abuse, to heal from the abuse and learn to create and maintain boundaries. So should you for having been abused as well!
@darksith thanks for the reply/support
@oneof21angels unfortunately he’s not open to family counselling, he gets angry when the topic is addressed
You can’t change the person with mental illness and magically make them see the error of their ways. The only thing you can change is your response to them. As someone mentioned above Boundaries are key. Maybe some family therapy, just for you and your mom would be beneficial, leave dad out of it. Also try NAMI family to family.
Then you and your mom (and any siblings you have) should go-honestly that’s probably better anyway. It’s the only realistic option you have-other than continue to be in misery over it and not know how to deal with it on a day to day basis. If you call the local woman’s shelter they can set you up with counseling. Abuse is extremely damaging, many people develop PTSD because of abuse and then find functioning hard. I can’t emphasize it enough, having been through two decades of abuse myself. The more you do nothing the worse you guy’s psychological damage will be.
Thank you for the great ideas and honest replies