Any other single moms with sz son or daughter

How do you handle it alone?

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Hi sheyelo. My son is 35, diagnosed 12yrs ago. We have had no family support, his father died 2yrs ago and was no help when he was alive.

My advice is reach out to friends, family, family/carer groups or anywhere you can get support. It is too hard to do alone. Dont let the stigma of sz silence you or make you hide.

There is very helpful advice on sz.com website on how to communicate with loved ones with sz.

Sharing on this forum helps too.

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It is hard, I am not going to lie I have been a single mother my whole adult life. I have 2 grown sons. It is my youngest (32) that developed sz in his teens. I have never had any family support-ever. Most of my support comes from local support groups, counseling and online support like this. Otherwise I read a LOT —everything I can get my hands on about the illness itself, and coping strategies and how to best care for my own self as I care for my son. It is easier now that he has been mostly stable for a few years now and we share an apartment…but the first few nightmare years still plague me in my mind which is one part of the reason I am in therapy for PTSD. I also go to acupuncture weekly which is a great stress reliever. I also pick my battles with my son, if “it” is not a danger to his or my own health or safety than I do not argue about it. Since he is a night owl and I am an early bird. I have a nice long block of time in the morning all to myself. I also make sure not to neglect my sleep which I did in the beginning I never slept or if I dozed I felt like I did so with one eye opened I was so uneasy back then. Today is so much better than it was in the beginning. I am determined and resilient and seldom take no for an answer.

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Great advice Catherine.

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Not easy. My daughter is 35 years old and I’ve been dealing with it since she was 19 years old when she was officially diagnosed but I do believe there were signs when she was 15 years old. My support came from NAMI, this forum, books, publications etc. . Families try to understand but it’s all too much for them so I just went outside my family for support. Good luck to you.

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No one cares. I deal with it by myself relying on prayer. My heart is ground glass. I live in the US.

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@Chraya Throughout the years I felt that exact same way, A LOT…truthfully nothing makes everything completely 100% better…speaking about my own experiences…but for my survival as a caretaker, therapy has helped, support groups have helped, writing and journaling helps when there is no one to talk to…and long walks in nature, believe it or not, also help, or at least they help me now…there was a time when I couldn’t even consider doing anything for myself when my life was so absorbed with just keeping my son alive, medicated, safe, sober and out of jail. I am grateful he is stable now (and has been for a few years) and we get along well as room mates, just the 2 of us, life has become quiet and predictable for the most part and I am good with that. I wish you hope and peace, :peace_symbol::dove:

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