How do you handle it alone?
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Hi sheyelo. My son is 35, diagnosed 12yrs ago. We have had no family support, his father died 2yrs ago and was no help when he was alive.
My advice is reach out to friends, family, family/carer groups or anywhere you can get support. It is too hard to do alone. Dont let the stigma of sz silence you or make you hide.
There is very helpful advice on sz.com website on how to communicate with loved ones with sz.
Sharing on this forum helps too.
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It is hard, I am not going to lie I have been a single mother my whole adult life. I have 2 grown sons. It is my youngest (32) that developed sz in his teens. I have never had any family support-ever. Most of my support comes from local support groups, counseling and online support like this. Otherwise I read a LOT —everything I can get my hands on about the illness itself, and coping strategies and how to best care for my own self as I care for my son. It is easier now that he has been mostly stable for a few years now and we share an apartment…but the first few nightmare years still plague me in my mind which is one part of the reason I am in therapy for PTSD. I also go to acupuncture weekly which is a great stress reliever. I also pick my battles with my son, if “it” is not a danger to his or my own health or safety than I do not argue about it. Since he is a night owl and I am an early bird. I have a nice long block of time in the morning all to myself. I also make sure not to neglect my sleep which I did in the beginning I never slept or if I dozed I felt like I did so with one eye opened I was so uneasy back then. Today is so much better than it was in the beginning. I am determined and resilient and seldom take no for an answer.
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Great advice Catherine.
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Not easy. My daughter is 35 years old and I’ve been dealing with it since she was 19 years old when she was officially diagnosed but I do believe there were signs when she was 15 years old. My support came from NAMI, this forum, books, publications etc. . Families try to understand but it’s all too much for them so I just went outside my family for support. Good luck to you.
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No one cares. I deal with it by myself relying on prayer. My heart is ground glass. I live in the US.
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@Chraya Throughout the years I felt that exact same way, A LOT…truthfully nothing makes everything completely 100% better…speaking about my own experiences…but for my survival as a caretaker, therapy has helped, support groups have helped, writing and journaling helps when there is no one to talk to…and long walks in nature, believe it or not, also help, or at least they help me now…there was a time when I couldn’t even consider doing anything for myself when my life was so absorbed with just keeping my son alive, medicated, safe, sober and out of jail. I am grateful he is stable now (and has been for a few years) and we get along well as room mates, just the 2 of us, life has become quiet and predictable for the most part and I am good with that. I wish you hope and peace, 
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Happy to hear the miracle in your life. My mind is hurting immensely. My son has never been on meds. He is having the 3rd episode isolated & homeless. First 2 episodes resolved by getting him his own place. Now I am terrified. I am the legal guardian in IN. I am inconsolable as I do not see the info anywhere that as guardian, I have the authority to obtain a civil mandate to move my son into a housing. And I learned about mental writ. Vs emergency detention. The psychiatrist who issued statement for guardianship stating that my son needs meds & longterm in patient care is not signing the emergency detention form. My son is intelligent with a degree from top 10 univ. He is being left to wander on streets get hurt or become a criminal. I am terrified & the grief has engulfed me.
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I am so sorry to hear about your current situation. In Ohio my guardianship allows for me to govern everything concerning my son’s health, finances, living situation. Originally, he was declared incompetent, although he is better than that today, I dare not change it because everything is working well for him as is.
I didn’t know that Indiana was different. I know your overwhelmed and broken-hearted right now, I very much understand. I don’t know if you can or do get or have a therapist or social worker for yourself. A therapist can help a lot to navigate the despair and frustration. In addition to helping, you emotionally, they often have much information and resources about things like guardianship and housing and other issues.
Have you contacted the guardianship department in your local probate court? They also should be able to answer any questions you might have about your rights as a guardian.
I wish I had some kind of answer that world work fast to help you and your son. I truly do. It took me several years to get my son off the streets, into care and on the right medications, I tried to make it possible for him to live independently but it never turned out well for him. I decided (finally) that if he was going to make it at all it would have to be under my somewhat strict supervision and my roof and fortunately my decision worked for both of us.
The guardianship helped as did the fact that I handled all of his finances and I still do. He is no longer a threat to himself. He is a calm and peaceful young man who does all he can to stay well now. Anyway, I would like to believe one day your son will be better than he is now and that you can have some peace of mind and heart.
Please make sure you are getting help for yourself so that you will be okay to help your son when the opportunity arises to do so. Hugs from afar. I hope things improve for both of you going forward.
Sincerely,
Catherine