Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Fiancé of almost three years currently institutionalized

My fiancé and I have been in a committed relationship for almost three years now, we had plans to be married. He is now in a facility for treatment for his severe psychosis. His condition hasn’t improved much so far even on medication, and has escaped once from the institute. His parents are going to move him to a new facility where he is safe. I’m not allowed to see him and I recently was asked to give him space to get better. He was actively involved in my seven year old daughters life and loves her very much. Even in his episodes he asks about her to make sure she is ok. What do I do??? I am worried for my daughters mental and physical health down the road. Even though he has not presented as hostile or aggressive as of yet I know there is a possibility. My daughter and I love him and I know he loves us too. I know the best thing is to allow him space for now to get the help he needs. But do I give up on our dreams for the future although they’ll be different and I know he will never be the same? I can’t imagine abandoning him… I’m just not sure what to do

Time will tell , i would take one day at a time and don’t overthink as you will get over stressed . Think positive and see , wait and pray he gets better . Im sure once he is on the right meds you will find the man you fell in love with again even if he acts a little strange at times . Be patient and look after yourself and your daughter for now .Its a hard disease to deal with but can be managed if on the right meds and therapy . :pray:

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There IS definitely the possibility of meaningful recovery for persons with schizophrenia (or severe psychosis if there is not yet a diagnosis…you must believe he has SZ or you wouldn’t be here.) The illness presents different in different people and the manifestations of it can come and go in severity. There are common symptoms but some individuals experience less of those same symptoms. But we can’t predict how things will go except maybe to observe the person over a long period of time. With the right help, this man you care about can have meaningful recovery but it can be a long and difficult road. Yes, the person you know and love is still there if the illness can be managed well. Thankfully his parents seem to be involved in a good way. The best outcomes are where there is a committed and involved family. If you’ve waited this long to get married, you can think about waiting longer and see how things go. You will need to learn everything you can about this illness because there is no actual cure. (NAMI.org is a good start.) But at some point, you may have to make a decision one way or the other.

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If this is what’s called First Episode Psychosis, then the prognosis is better than if it was allowed to go on for more than a couple of years. Suggest that you Google on First Episode Psychosis and learn what you can.

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Thank you all so much for all the input on my specific issues and also just in general helping so many different types of people learn how to maintain healthy relationships with their loved ones suffering from mental illness. It can be so hard with any of them without knowing how to address the problem or even really understand the problem to begin with.

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It is always heartbreaking when someone you love has a psychotic episode. It sounds like he is either not yet adult or his parents have permanent or temporary guardianship. In any case, my advice is to respect their wishes and give him space. Give yourself and your daughter space too. Adults have a hard time coping with SZ in the family. A seven year old can’t and shouldn’t be expected to. I have a ten year old grandson and six year old granddaughter. Their SZ father loves them and vice versa, but we can’t let them be together unsupervised. If you marry this man, you are signing up for a really tough job. That would be okay, even noble, if it were just you. But you can’t subject your daughter to this. You just can’t possibly know or predict the consequences. You must protect your daughter.

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