Tell us how you are today?


Thanks Irene! Still waiting to hear something about it. Hoping to today. All the best, and my prayers to you too!


@lyisak1996, so sorry to hear that. It’s one of the big fears for sure (seizures), also the heart issues that can come up. From the research that I and my oldest son have read, Clozapine at it’s highest levels for the particular person, works great for getting them out of their crisis situation, but that only a smaller dose is needed once out of that crisis period. It is different for everyone, and since my son smokes constantly, he would need a higher dose than some others for maintenance, but the 600 mg is such a tight rope in the long run. Then once they find that maintenance dose, we will still have to ride out what I call “the roller coaster” of the disease itself. Even on this dose he is up and down constantly, but never to the point of self harm. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, you have probably been through it all too. I hope for your brother they/he manage to titrate him down slowly enough that he can get back to living a better life, without seizures.


You are right @Vallpen, he has tolerated it well. No major physical side effects yet. But, there is a reason that they have to do ECT tests regularly and blood work regularly. They know that everything can change in a heart beat with this med. As someone else said here, the chances of seizures rise with the amount they are on, and 600 mg has put him dangerously closer to having them. Not making any decisions though until I have spoken with his pdoc and with my son too. All the best to you.


I am working to get caught up on 3 years of neglected garden work before the heat of summer hits. If we don’t get new stuff established in spring and winter, it has trouble surviving its first summer here. Also, the family that built Jeb’s garage apartment has started the repairs. We are now calling it the guesthouse.


@hope Glad to hear you are getting back to your garden! What will you plant? Out here (CO) we can already plant peas and lettuce. This year - I’m just packing. I’ll have potted plants once we are back in the condo.


“when you’ve been living with stress, it’s stressful to lose your stress”. YEP. This is exactly how I feel, trying to adjust to the “new normal” for a year and a half. My son is hospitalized finally and doing well. I’m learning to live alone after 43 years of raising kids and husbands and dealing with the youngest’s mental health issues.
I’m almost ready for retirement but I can’t focus on that because I don’t know what the future holds for my son.
Yep- Ground Zero. It’s scary.


Hi Diane! I am trying tomatoes for the first time. They don’t look especially happy at this point. I did get lucky and found 5 Grandma’s Yellow Rose bushes. People are grabbing them up. I have been told that they are pretty easy to grow, we shall see.

How is your packing coming along?


Yes, and your point is really heard on this end. We have lost one stress currently, but all the others are still in place.

Everyone is a lot less jumpy here.

Jeb is still writing the chapters of his book. And he is in the driver’s seat (so to speak- f and l) I cannot argue with that at all. I’ve been “reading” this particular author a while, so I have a pretty good idea what is coming up. But I am letting myself be happy right now.


@hope It sounds like you are going to have a lot of (fun) work in the yard. I have a lot of lavender which is always fun to work with. Those plants will stay at the house and I’ll get more for an outside section at our condo. I’m about 75% packed. Hopefully, I won’t have issues getting my son to let the movers take his things. If he refuses to let them, I will turn off the wifi and his phone and not bring food to the house. I’m trying not to worry about things that have not happened. (Always the challenge!).


Thank you so much!!! I hope your son manages it better too!


I am glad to hear that about lavender. My husband bought me a potting bench at an FFA auction that came with seeds - so far it looks like I have already managed to fail with the dill seeds. The zinnia seeds are sprouting in the ground, so maybe… I plan to start the lavender in a tray and transfer it - per the directions :seedling:

Can be hard to tell worrying about what has not happened yet, from preparing for all the possibilities with our family members.


My morning glory seeds are sprouting and we’re still making lemonade from the lemon tree.Though the rosemary has partially died back from hard frost, the Italian parsley, thyme, and oregano are bustling with new growth. Once the rain storm quiets down I’ll visit the local nursery to buy tomato plants. The larkspur and poppy seeds don’t seem to have taken, so in those fallow beds I have an opportunity to plant anew.


@amysfo Sounds like you are in CA or Fl? So nice to live in a climate where things flourish.

@hope - You may want to get starts for your tomatoes. The only thing I’ve been successful growing from seeds are peas, lettuce, sunflowers and corn (but the raccoons know exactly when that is ready and ate it all).

Yes - worrying about what has not happened and preparing is probably my biggest challenge. It never ends up the way I expect so why do I bother to worry. Sigh. On another note - I bought my son a new electric razer - hoping he uses it! He took it but it may take a bit before he gets around to opening it. All I can do is provide things.


I love morning glories - there is a wild version of them that grows here, are you somewhere warm? Do you plant a special morning glory seed? My cat mint is doing well, its a new one for me.


Are starts what you call them when they are plants? That is what I got at the feed store. My grandfather used to grow Big Boys, I picked up Better Boys, that was all they had - I looked for Early Girls, the yellow version, no luck.

Someone the next county over plants a big field of sunflowers next to the highway.

My credit card says my son went golfing yesterday. He used to golf a couple of times a week, then he golfed a couple of times a month. Now its a couple of times a year. He goes during quiet times when no one else is around.


@hope Yup - starts are little plants that someone else started for you.

I am SO glad to hear that Jeb went golfing! My son LOVED to golf. I bought him one of those hole in one things that shoots it back to you but he hasn’t used it. I hope Jeb keeps golfing!


I suspect that the chipping part of Jeb’s short game will be greatly improved. There’s aren’t any wall marks around his refrigerator - looks like he hit the frig each time.

Really wish the tomato plants could answer me when I ask them are you okay here? Is this enough sun? Too much sun?


Lucky you with the warm weather. We are still cold and snowy! The Yankees home opener was delayed a day because of snow. Enough already!!!


We are now deep into spring. A baseball snow delay? So much of the world is still in winter this year.


Hello all
I feel it’s really important that we say and share what we are doing outside of our loved ones illness. When my
Hello all
I feel it’s really important that we say and share what we are doing outside of our loved ones illness. When my family was going through all trauma of our sons accident and assaut, the professionals kept saying how important it is to take care of yourself.
2 years later I get it, and yes my family is all doing fine.
Today I am helping a friend who is recovering from a terrible stroke and she needs me, it’s a good distraction from all the sadness I have faced. It also makes me realize how many others are suffering in different ways, I am not that special, all of us have to learn to cope with unfortunate situations.
Prayers to all of you and take care, do something to make yourself feel better.
BTY, I’m working on my front yard, reworking my rock pathway, have a great day